Can you do OS and work full time too?

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

Angelfeathers wrote: »

*Hugs you tight* I am in total awe of any household with kid(s) where both parents work full time

Can't offer any advice but I think you're doing marvelous.
I was tired out just reading about you're day.
Stop being so hard on yourself,I think you realy are doing everything you can and to be honest if your'e not does it realy matter.
Good luck!.

jc2703

Didn't want to read and run - every little thing you do that you consider o/s (a meal plan, a batch cook, a meal from scratch) is a success - failure would be if you gave up trying!

I work 4 days a week, mystery shop at least one day a week, have 3 kids plus 2 step kids and a DH who is a stay at home dad with a fear of housework. My house is always a disgrace and I would love to fly! but i get precious little time with my daughter who is only 3 and husband and the mess will be there tomorrow. The slow cooker is my saviour from takeaway - its ready on a night quicker than someone could deliver food!

Edited to add - I am very lucky that my DH is completely on board with the money saving and altho he is a very fussy eater he will try anything!
Good Luck!

J x

[Deleted User]

Its all about baby steps.Don't forget a lot of us me included have been OSing for years ,long before Martin Lewis was a twinkle in his Daddy's eye I am one of the ...eerm slightly older ladies on here so what I have learnt has been accumulated over the past 60 odd years,buT I still am learning.I too did the work/home life balence for many years when I was bring up my children and know how tough it can be when you come home from a long day and just want to kick off your shoes and do nothing.Only thing I could say is prepare first thing in the morning or last thing at night.It does help.I also peeled spuds on a Sunday morning and put into a tuppaware box for the week,changing the water daily.I hated coming home from work and having to stand and peel potato's..I am a widow now and live alone but still peel my spuds on Sunday mornings for the week,yet I have a lot more spare time now than I used to. We aren't all brilliant on here and I too admire those who can raise chickens and grow their own or bake bread, I am slightly disabled, and my joints don't bend as well as they could so chicken raising would not be very practical,not gardening anymore sadly.The amount of bread I eat it wouldn't be cost effective to make umpteen loaves anyway So I buy my eggs at the local farm shop and the veggies at the greengrocers or market.As another poster said double the amount when you batch cook even iof it means making one for now and one for the freezer.Enjoy your bottle of wine if you want to we all need a little something at times to cheer us up and its not a sin to enjoy life as well as trying to be OS.Be good to yourself for a change,life is for living and is far too short to stress over
Good Luck and lighten up a little we are all here to help

JoJoB

katylou - you say that OH's wages pay the household bills. You work full time also and you are struggling to pay for weekly groceries and the odd night out? Is this because your credit card repayments are eating too much into your budget and leaving you without enough to live on? If your debt is now leaving you in financial hardship I think it is probably time to get some advice on the matter - maybe pop over to the debt board and do an income/expenditure statement to see where you stand. If you can't manage your current level of debt and are actually increasing it just to buy basic groceries then there are many options open to you that will help matters.

Butterfly_Brain

Sorry to say it but I think your OH is a selfish so and so

floss2

Butterfly_Brain wrote: »

Sorry to say it but I think your OH is a selfish so and so

I don't think he's selfish, more thoughtless -I think he probably doesn't realise how much things have gone up over the last year or so, and thinks that his wage is plenty to pay the bills.

He needs his eyes opening to the facts.

Taadaa

Hi hun ((hugs)).

I know it might seem like you come on here and everyone is a shiny happy person, but no one is happy all day every day. Everyone has their cross to bear. I am in a similar position to you - I am only here right now as I am getting over a respiratory infection. Otherwise 5 days a week I do a 100 mile round trip to work in London. I have similar evenings to you, and I have a simlar OH. I have to say I think my OH is being a bit selfish when he insists on filling the trolley up with rubbish. It's not so much him eating it, it's that DS wants it too and he is a little podgy.

I am tired all the time and stressed at least once a day. But I don't get as stressed as I used to and here's why: life is too short. Try and enjoy the free things in life, like sitting down together to eat or watching a movie together. And look forward to the weekend ;-)

Butterfly_Brain

My DH and I have always treated our wages as joint and all bills, shopping etc come out of the joint account and we save as much as we can if any is left. I find it hard to comprehend that in a partnership people still have a - what I earn is mine state of mind.
Does he help around the house or does he have the attitude well I go to work and that's my contribution - Sorry but you work too and run a house and look after the children - Partnership is all about sharing.
It sounds to me that you two really need to sit down and talk

katholicos

It is important to remember that there are people behind the posts, most of whom have there own set of problems. We're not stepford wives (I'm divorced anyhow). What you see on this forum is a microscopic snapshot of a person, not enough to formulate an accurate representation or perception of a persons character or the way they live their life.

For instance, I do make chutney and jam and soap and I bake and cook from scratch etc....but what I don't tell you (except now, just to belabour the point) is that I endure various illnesses (I have daily chronic headaaches, eye pain and migraines, high blood pressure, panic attacks and anxiety, depression, chronic asthma and suspected diabetes). I also have an extremely dire income and also have debt. I am doped up to the eyeballs on painkillers most days, sleep hardly ever and have a heap of family problems that have near driven me insane.

I'm not saying all this to wave away your own concerns and frustraions, i'm telling you this because I suspect that many people on here are in a similar boat to myself but we're trying to find pleasure in living more simply and achieving some level of enjoyment and satisfaction from living productive OS lifestyles. For myself, I would also add that making and creating things help me to cope a bit better with the life I am currently living and if i didn't have an outlet for my creativity, I know that I would be at a far lower point than I currently am.

Having read you opening post, it seems to me that you have a lot going for you, you have a loving family and you are an intelligent and resourceful woman. I'm sure that with a bit of tweaking you could live a more simplified life. One of the problems we women often have is that we feel we must take everything on ourselves, maybe to 'get the job done' or perhaps because we feel we ought to or what have you, but my suggestion to you would be to delegate as much as you can.

It seems from what you have written, that you are fast aproaching burn out, but before that happens, something needs to give. I believe that the money problems may well have a detrimental impact upon you, and not only financially but also on your wellbeing. So my advice would be to seek whatever help you can (visit the Debt Forum on this website maybe), also, take small steps to cut down your grocery expenditure (thereby eliminating your debt problem more quickly). Ask your other half to make some sacrifices for you (chicken nuggetts!) as your debt is a joint problem and your situation and even your relationship may improve if you have that burden lifted as soon as possible.

I'm rambling a bit now so i will stop here, but i will just end by saying that I think you have what it takes to knock your budget into shape and to delegate tasks so that you get to have time to create meals from scratch or make a few jars of jam or whatever else you may eventually feel inclined to do. The main thing is, only do them if you enjoy them.

Just because some members of an internet forum make XYZ doesn't mean you should feel inferior in any way whatsoever. You work hard, you look after your family to the upmost of your ability, don't give yourself such a hard time. Make a few simple changes in your life and you will hopefully free up the time to do things with your 'me time' that give you a feeling of pride and a sense of accomplishment, but strive for those feelings even now. Acknowledge all that you achieve in your day, and work towards making further improvements to the quality of your life.

Taadaa

katholicos is right - it is just a microscopic view, and whenever I get a bit stressed out thinking about the cushions I am making, the baking I want to do, the cards I am making or whatever I stop myself and tell myself I don't have to do any of it. Sometimes as mothers and partners and workers we get waaaay too caught up in thinking about what we feel we should do. It's not like you would be the worst mother ever if you keep a bag of chicken nuggets in the freezer for the odd night when you need to put yourself first and have a rest. x