Addicted to shopping

Bethshine82

Hi,
I am 25 years old and am 1526 in debt. I am desperately trying to reduce the amount by about 200 each month (can just about afford this) but can't seem to stop spending! When I am feeling miserable (lots of the time) I end up buying myself something to cheer myself up - it's normally only something small about 25 pounds or so but I know I should be paying off my debt instead. Husband and I want to start trying for a family in a few months and would like to be debt free by time am pregnant. In theory, after paying off 200 of CC debt and all other outgoings should have about 150 pounds left each month, however never seem to actually have this! But normally something seems to happen that's unexpected that takes up left over money - e.g. car breaking down, washing machine needing replacing etc.

Also a lot of my friends are in higher paid jobs than myself so when we go out it is normally for an expensiveish meal, I don't drink but we end up splitting the bill so I always end up paying for more that I have actually had.
I am also terrible for buying presents, love giving presents so if I see something I know someone will like inevitably I buy it! It needs to stop!
Help me be stricter with myself before my debt gets out of control!

Beth xx

poorandindenial

Hi Bethshine

First things first, well done for posting, my debt was accumulated through spending so please take me as a cautionary tale. You can sort yours out quickly as long as you don't carry on the spending.

Could we have a bit more info about your debt, the APR and minimum monthly payments please, there might be a way of paying less interest.

I suggested to someone with is similar problem earlier that they keep a spending diary with a record of how they were feeling and other things that were going on so that you can look for patterns of why you might be compulsively spending and also helps you see where your 'spare' money is going each month.

Check out this thread too: (link) there are quite a few of us in a group called 'spendaholics anonymous' and we are all either current or reformed compulsive spenders.

Bethshine82

Hi,
Thanks for replying - I will look at the spendaholics thread too!
My interest rate is 15.9% and monthly min payments around 28 pounds. Trouble is I started by trying to clear it really quickly and was paying off 350 a month - but then was left with nothing and was putting money back on it for petrol and food by end of month. Not bit more realistic with 200 a month, but ideally would like to pay off more. Would like it to be gone by Christmas!
xx

Bethshine82

Oh and debt all on one credit card - no where else. Could I switch to an interest free for 6 months one maybe?

ukdutypaid

I'm not in debt up to my eyeballs, but rather than castigate you, I have a lot of sympathy for how easily it can be managed. Large numbers looming in the distance, tend to have the effect of making small amounts not seem to matter.

Well done to 'Poorandindenial', for the links to the other group.
It sounds to me as though there is a lot of displacement going on about your future plans for a family and the gifts might be a way of trying to prove you're able to be a big hitter, for you feel 'tight' during outings.
The meal thing is hard, for you fear causing offence by going through the bill item by item.
However if they are close friends then "Look, I'm in debt and I'm gonna have to do this", on the quiet to your mates. "Or look people. I'm a bit skint and we've got family plans, so I'm going to have to watch it tonight".
If they're not that close then perhaps ditch it, or have a select few round instead..

Remember they aren't paying your debts off, you are, so don't be worried about being firm.. Don't put it on them, just say "Can't come out", or "Gotta watch it".
I just stopped my social life once cos I was unemployed and all my mates weren't. I wouldn't advise that. Perhaps turn up, for the odd big event, here and there?

A) look at your cards. Get that debt onto 0% ones.
whilst your CA is okay, switch that also (some pay 8%+ on balances up to 2.5K, for the whole month)
C) men are less sympathetic about feel good buys. Do you both need it?, also review your wardrobe for the summer.. Any swaps with girlfriends available?
D) if you've got store cards, then I don't care what the percieved benefits are, get rid
E) It's draw up a budget time. What do you need, where's that money going?
F) look at your job. there's too much time spent on saving a tenner in here. Up your income.

poorandindenial

Hi Beth

Just a bit more on the £150 per month that you have left - what is this for?? Does it include groceries and general living or is it genuinely spare money?? The reason why I say that is that you may be being too strict with yourself and that could be making the problem worse becasue you are feeling miserable and deprived of stuff (if you see what I mean)

OK, you might get a couple of percent shaved off that interest rate or a 0% balance transfer but that would leave you vulnerable to racking up the spending on your credit card again which would be high risk when you are in your position. Don't forget to factor in the balance transfer fee (which you will pay interest on even when the actual bal transfer is at 0% when you work out the relative costs) Also check out https://www.whatsthecost.co.uk to see what the effect of overpayments or using other cards will be.

You could look at things slightly differently and allow yourself to spend where you have made the money over and above your salary - check out the up your income board. This might sound silly as you will still be spending but you may start to associate the act of spending with the amount of work that goes into raising the cash to buy things.

Millie2008_2

Echo the above

and

I would look into why you feel you need to buy people presents also. I do this too and am trying to figure it out myself

And come and join us on the spendaholics thread

Bethshine82

In theory it is spare cash but usually ends up being eaten by some emergency or another - or gets spent on gifts. I like buying people presents - only really close family and husband that I splash out on. My parents are so good to me that I like to be able to treat them to something nice.

I am cancelling all social arrangements that I have planned for the next few weeks - was meant to be going to hen party but cancelled and am taking back dress I bought for it (only 14.99 but every little helps!).

Husband doesn't know I am in any debt. We don't have joint savings or current accounts. He earns MUCH more than me and actually has about 10k in bank plus bonus due of 25k but don't want to tell him. Feel like is my fault and my problem so I have to sort it out.

xx

Bethshine82

Oh also, don't have any store cards or anything, just my one credit card! tempted by store cards but always been able to say no - just! xx

Bethshine82

Also am newly qualified teacher so hard to up salary - working about 45hours a week already!
Thanks for all advice - I know basically that I just need to stop spending on anything not vital, but it's so hard. And (this sounds spoilt) I feel like I work so many hours that I deserve to be able to buy stuff! Not lots of stuff maybe, but still. I suppose I am not the only person that feels like that though :-( xx

DdraigGoch

Well done, Bethshine82, for taking the first steps along your journey to freedom. This place is wonderful and very supportive.

DG