I keep falling off the wagon, how do you stop the cycle?

EmptyPurse

I'm exactly the same too. On another thread ('I can't stop spending) someone suggested that part of the problem might be because I haven't actually hit crisis point yet. My debts are a problem but I can afford the monthly repayments and am actually overpaying in one instance. So, although I have LBMs on a regular basis, deep down I don't actually see it as a really serious problem and so haven't got the motivation to keep clearing those debts.

The real question for those of us who haven't actually hit rock-bottom crisis point yet is how to find the motivation to keep clearing those debts once the initial LBM has worn off. I haven't found the solution yet - answers on a postcard, please!!!

Dinah93

Hey everyone I've been reading with interest, I tend give myself more leeway than I would like quite often, as I earn a decent salary (£1.6k take home pay per month) and sometimes the figures just don't quite seem real to me. My LBM was in January when I realised I had accidentally spent over £4k in the sales on new furniture and clothes and I'm not quite sure what else! That really kicked me into gear, and I'm now paying it off. This month has been a real kick up the bum for me though, as my partner left his job (basically his boss refused to pay my OH until he did the boss's university coursework for him, and we discovered OH in fact wasn't registered as working there so not paying tax or NI, yet his wages were the equivelent of £3.22 an hour!) so we're living off my salary, which is a huge struggle (I know, shouldn't be struggling on this sort of salary and so many people have much more right to be in trouble) but we ARE just about managing to pay all the bills, which shows me I actually am still misplacing £300 a month which I could be using on the debt once himself gets a new job. Also knowing I could cover this sort of situation quite comfortably without the £375 minimum payments (and usually abother £175-£400 on top of this) I'm making is really spurring me on to clear the debt, as you never know what will happen in the future.

Finally what I do other months when I have cash to spare (meaning those months I don't have to go down to the shop at 8.50pm 3 days in a row trying to get reduced price 10p bread and margerine!) is I work out the budget for the month and on payday all the money that isnt accounted for by food.rent/bills/scheduled repayments etc I throw straight at the current debt I'm working on. I know some people like to keep a 'treats' pot or an emergency fund, but I would rather my money was paying off my debt than sat earning negligable interest and tempting me! If an emergency does happen then that's what the credit card is for and I will endevour to pay it off. If I want to treat myself I only have to look at the bright red credit card and I put it away again now, as I know what a toll past spending is placing on my current lifestyle!

ltm07

Hi,interesting thread this one. A few months ago we were like a bull at a gate trying to smash our debts,but we have slowed down a little. I was working 60 hours a week & if I had carried on doing that I would probably have gone off with stress by now. Our plan is probably not very DFW,but if it puts our DF date back a while so be it,as long as the debt is going down then we know we will get there eventually. We will try & follow the snowball calculator the best we can,but may not pay as much into it as we should. We finish paying a loan in July,so will be £97 a month better off. Instead of paying the £97 towards our next debts IYKWIM, we will pay half towards our debts & put half towards holidays,emergencies etc. Any extra cash we earn will go towards our debts but we want to start living & stop relying on overtime. Things have happened this year that have put things into perspective, we have a friend who has cancer & it's made us realise that no amount of money is as important as your health. Good luck,you, us & all the other good people will get there sooner or later!

xtessx

Hi Lalala,

Also have a look at the spendaholics anonymous thread. You may be another one of us! I have found a great deal of support there.

Good luck!

Tess xx:money: :money: :money:

Jacks_xxx

:wave: I agree with everyone else - posting here is pretty key.

However I also find that it's cyclical with me - my lightbulb hasn't dimmed, but I have regular occasions when I need some things I don't need - if you see what I mean!

- a night out dancing / a meal I didn't cook / a new lippie / a bar of 70% chocolate / a dvd / whatever.

I can keep up DFW-ness most of the time but if TOTM or feeling deprived & over worked is making me stroppy then I give myself permission to splurge without feeling too bad about it.

Sometimes knowing that "I can if I want to" is enough to chill me out, and I'll decide to save the treat for when I'm feel more desperate!

Hubby keeps a £20 stashed for emergency time of the month treats cos for some reason I seem to become ever so slightly less rational then.

I have a "DO YOU NEED IT MORE THAN YOU NEED TO BE DEBT FREE" banner over the computer because internet shopping is a big temptation of mine

and I have a Progress Made versus Long Way To Go Word document that I can look at which usually sobers me up. (Big time!)

But despite having treats whenever I get grumpy we're still making epic progress.

The savings we've made on almost all the household expenses plus all the extra work we do allows us to pay off large amounts every month whilst still having some treats.

We've been having Porridge (59p/kg) and Value Branflakes (95p/ kg) for breakfast for 8 months so this month the kids have requested branded cereal at £4.50/ kg - and the previous months savings have made that Ok.

(Treating my kids is another weakness of mine!)

Love Jacks xxx

Deep_In_Debt

This is a great thread. I'm on my own and have found it really hard to keep motivated. I had my lbm in January and since then I've been seeing my debts reducing which is enough to keep me going. I work full time (average pay) and have taken on a couple of part time jobs too. One includes my love of animals and the great outdoors - dog walking - and I'm meeting people at the same time which keeps me away from the shops and gets me out in the fresh air and keeps me fit at the same time. I've changed my shopping habits - now shop in Lidl instead of Waitrose or Tesco.

At my lbm, I thought that I was never going to clear my debts but 5 months later my debts have reduced. I had debts of nearly 28K in January and I'm now down to 24k. I can see my debts going down which keeps me motivated. It's slow for me but at least now I've got my head out of the sand and I'm enjoying the non-spending things that I have discovered!

Good luck to all.

ltm07

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

This is a great thread. I'm on my own and have found it really hard to keep motivated. I had my lbm in January and since then I've been seeing my debts reducing which is enough to keep me going. I work full time (average pay) and have taken on a couple of part time jobs too. One includes my love of animals and the great outdoors - dog walking - and I'm meeting people at the same time which keeps me away from the shops and gets me out in the fresh air and keeps me fit at the same time. I've changed my shopping habits - now shop in Lidl instead of Waitrose or Tesco.

At my lbm, I thought that I was never going to clear my debts but 5 months later my debts have reduced. I had debts of nearly 28K in January and I'm now down to 24k. I can see my debts going down which keeps me motivated. It's slow for me but at least now I've got my head out of the sand and I'm enjoying the non-spending things that I have discovered!

Good luck to all.

Good for you D.I.D. we also have swapped our regular shop from Sainsburys to Aldi & the savings we make there are amazing. Alot of the changes that we have made on the DFW journey have been quite painless, it just means finding cheaper alternatives to the way we were living life before. This site & forum is real Godsend to keeping us focussed. As I said in my previous post we are taking things slowly,but know exactly what we spend each day & although things that we don't expect will crop up from time to time,we are going forwards,not backwards in our quest to be DF. All the best!!

Deep_In_Debt

ltm07 wrote: »

Good for you D.I.D. we also have swapped our regular shop from Sainsburys to Aldi & the savings we make there are amazing. Alot of the changes that we have made on the DFW journey have been quite painless, it just means finding cheaper alternatives to the way we were living life before. This site & forum is real Godsend to keeping us focussed. As I said in my previous post we are taking things slowly,but know exactly what we spend each day & although things that we don't expect will crop up from time to time,we are going forwards,not backwards in our quest to be DF. All the best!!

Thanks lbm, I'm making mega savings by shopping in Lidl and I walk there (with the dogs and have to carry the bag back!) so save on petrol too. Like you, I've made savings and not really noticed the difference in my lifestyle,. In fact, I'm getting out more, not spending money and meeting people at the same time.

I'm fairly new to all this but knew that my lifestyle had to change when OH left, tbh, I'm enjoying life more now than I have for a long time. Things for me are going slowly too and I have good months and bad months but seeing my debts reduce even if it is by a small amount, is enough to keep me motivated. I am due to pay my mortgage off in 5 years and I am determined to be debt free before then so I can go and travel the world and visit my family and friends.

Allie xx

englishmac

For those who have been to rock bottom, incentive is to have reminders of what it felt like eg not be able to afford food, have banks harrassing you constantly, not be able to socialise, etc etc.
A way to prevent yourself from spending money you don’t have coming in is to cut up your credit cards. Yes, go on, take the plunge. It is really quite liberating. You then can’t spend what you haven’t got if you are relying on what is in the bank. Need to watch your budget carefully to make sure you don’t spend what you have allocated for bills though.
Create a balance sheet for your needs - essential bills, debts and any other regular outgoings - and separate balance sheets for the things you want eg holidays, social events, new clothes you want but don’t need. That will focus your mind on the value of your income. Keep a record of your debts, updated daily, thus watching the result of your actions unfolding before you – if you have reduced your debt it will give you a buzz; if you have increased your debt it is a warning sign. Updating your record daily will nip problems in the bud.
Stay away from the places your know you will be tempted. Stopped popping into HMV ‘just for a look round’ years ago – never walked out without spending at least £60. Don’t spend £60 now as I don’t tempt myself.
It is true it is harder if you haven’t hit rock bottom as the incentive is less. So give yourself an incentive. Convert the price of your wants into the number of hours you will have to work to pay for them – are they still worth it? Consider what you will have to deny yourself if you have a splurge – will it cost you that holiday you want to book next year? Are you being ripped off – better to line your savings account/reduce your debt/spend your hard earned on something more worthwhile than to increase a company’s profit? I hate being ripped off. If I think a company is trying to fool me I get all huffy and refuse to hand over my (very hard earned) cash these days.

Karmacat

Yep, great thread, thanks to the OP and all contributors. The basic for me is the same as everyone else, to keep posting here. I'm getting the feeling I also need to do another soa (for myself) - so the other thing I'd say is to go through the main site articles every six months or every year or so. Its the water and energy bills that are spurring me on to do that at the moment.

The other thing is, the debts can be a lot bigger than the ways we have to earn more and overpay. So what I've always done, via online banking, is put all the extras - amazon, surveys, mystery shopping, whatever - into a separate bank account and see the difference it makes.