just a thank you

thaylock

DownInTheDumps wrote:

I didn't earn anything near £26k a year, so was basically insolvent and when I finally admitted it to my family, they washed their hands of me on the basis that they considered me to be irresponsible (which I guess I was).

I experienced this when helping my mum, I think people react like this because:

1. They are also in financial difficulties & if they can't deal with their problems how can they possibly help you deal with yours.

2. They simply don't know what action to take to help you

3. They too are irresponsible because they don't want to take on the responsibilty of dealing with someone elses problems

This is only my personal opinion, I think people most willing to help are those people who know how to deal with money, they may have done you a favour by not getting involved.

ben500

brokenwings wrote:

thank you everyone

this sounds silly perhaps, but being more frugal has turned into a hobby and challenge for me - and yes i know its a novelty at the moment as its new - but i have just managed to get a weeks shopping - which was £100 before - down to £28

feel pretty optimistic

hard to believe that its only a week since i found this board - only a week since i stopped and really took in what my situation was - and a week since i honesly thought there was only one way out - someone was watching over me and i thank heavens for the internet!!

havent started the dmp yet - but at least i know i can do it and that im not the only person its ever happened to - which is how i felt before



youre all fab
x

Glad to see your making headway I hope you viewed the thread I suggested and it helped you out, if not take a little time to view my posts you will find a lot of information to help you save on youur daily expenses I like to think, often in our lives we come across circumstance we think are untenable and cannot face waking up to but hopefully your experience has taught you that this feeling however deep is only shortlived.

Keep saving and ducking and diving and soon it will become an addiction and a natural daily function rather than an effort, the rewards are beyond belief! The knowledge that with very little effort you can avoid ever experiencing those feelings again because you've been there and got the t-shirt.

thaylock

ben500 wrote:

Keep saving and ducking and diving and soon it will become an addiction and a natural daily function rather than an effort, the rewards are beyond belief!

Quite true, did you know it takes 30 days to make a habit & 30 days to break a habit.

ben500

thaylock wrote:

I have been recently helping my 73 yr old mum who amassed debt with 15 creditors, I phoned a debt management company who said they could take care of the debts, I asked if they would charge a fee & they said yes they charge 17% which they is say is better than 30% my mum is paying. Well, for one my mum isn't paying 30%, second - I obtained the 'dealing with your debts' publication availble from the Money Advice Trust (or CAB) which tells you pretty much how to prepare a income/expenditure balance sheet, prepare letters for making token payments, pro-rata payments, freeze interest, e.t.c, i.e. all the things I think a dmp does (but I don't know for sure). With a little effort you could save yourself some money if you did everything yourself, it takes some effort but I did it for my mum. Out of the 15 creditors I have been able to agree reduced payments, freeze interest with 11 of them, still waiting to hear from the other 3, one of them just wouldn't budge but I came to an arrangement with them after talking to them on the phone for 10 minutes. Took me 3 weeks to sort this mess out, I am on top of it now & my mum is no longer distressed by the position she got herself into, for her there is light at the end of the tunnel & she is feeling happier.

I would also do her the favour of telling her in the most tranquil surroundings I could provide not to worry about this debt and that in her twilight years she should remain calm in the knowledge that when she passes so will the debt and that you will not judge her on this and see it as her just rewards for her effort in life! If she can't live with peace of mind at her time in life then what was her purpose being here, do your best to take away the worry she feels now that she can see she is making every reasonable effort to deal with her situation if the outcome is not good then stuff her creditors, try to put her in their position and ask her how she would pursue such a debt from someone in her position and if that has not been the case then this is the debt to neglect, deal with tthose debtors who have given her credit for her years and those that haven't let her think, stuff them! I hope that makes sense as I am quite p****d. I may even edit it in the morning.

thaylock

Ben500, I know you mean well but I don't agree with your comments. Being in debt is not something to be taken likely & thrown back in the faces of the creditors, I will excuse your comments because on your own admission you were p****d.

ben500

thaylock wrote:

Ben500, I know you mean well but I don't agree with your comments. Being in debt is not something to be taken likely & thrown back in the faces of the creditors, I will excuse your comments because on your own admission you were p****d.

I see where you are coming from however there are creditors and there are shylocks who put undue pressure on people in order to get them to put their debt first before all others and my comments were directed at this sort, I agree with you wholeheartedly that a debt incurred is a debt that should be paid unless of course the creditor becomes unreasonable in their demands and should have known better than to offer the credit in the first place as is the case far too often these days.