Hello: another newbie here! Need support

PinkLaydee

It's true to say that I've never really been great with money. Too many cards and catalogues, can't resist a bargain, useless filing system, always seem to forget to pay stuff off on time, live with constant overdraft, no savings, never earned much money (max earnings were £20,000 a year when working full time). And I have never asked anyone to bail me out EVER. Too much pride to do that...

When I was working before kiddies it was OK: just myself to worry about so could live on baked beans if need be and generally always managed to pay off minimum balances (though sometimes by the skin of my teeth!).

But since kiddies things have got a bit scary. Back in 2005 things reached a head when finally all my minimum balances added up to more than my part time income of £320 a month.

I managed for a while by subbing it with housekeeping money, but this didn't help for long. So I contacted all of the bigger creditors and negotiated payment plans, froze the interest and subsequently received defaults from them all on my credit file (more about that later!).

Since then life in financial terms has been dire to say the least. I have no money for treats, presents, impulses or anything surplus to day to day needs. I can't even by my kiddies a comic each when they ask. I do not have a credit card: which presents problems sometimes with people thinking it is odd not to have one. My main bank account doesn't have a cheque guarantee card and is only Electron debit which isn't accepted everywhere.

I feel like a second class citizen. I am constantly wracked with guilt over the whole thing. When things were at their worst back in 2005 I 'borrowed' £400 from my daughter's bank account. Which I have not managed to put back. Feel TERRIBLE about this (it is that action which finally forced me to own up to the creditors).

My husband has been unaware of the exact scale of the problem (all of the debts are in my name only). He's a real worrier and I feel he could not cope with the details and I regard it as my problem for me to sort out myself. But when I was pregnant with my second child our mortgage came up for renewal and he started to get quotes.

Of course what happened was we found we could not take advantage of any new deals with other banks: due to my poor credit history (the defaults from 2005) and our joint association. This led to a huge amount of stress, worry, arguing and heartache. I sort of owned up, but played down the debt figures somewhat (it was £22,000 total and I said it was £5000).

So late last year we decided to try to sell our house and buy something in a slightly cheaper area: to free up some money and reduce the mortgage amount so he can apply for it in his name only.

The house sale was a good idea in practice, but in the current market it has become another problem and stress-causer in itself. Nobody is looking! We had over 30 viewings, dropped the price by £50,000 and still no offers. And perhaps worse: there aren't many houses coming on to the market to buy. I have a 5 year old at school and 18 month old at home, so completely moving areas is not really an option. So have now taken house off market for a while.

I am now trying to find a way of making more money (hard with two under 5 and no childcare available). Am considering childminding and direct selling (AVON or similar).

I've contacted various people for help: everything from unsecured loan companies, Payplan and Debtline... but I'm now reading all the stuff on this completely brilliant website:money: , which is making a few things clearer.

I'm currently mulling over what to do next.

I really struggle to find the time to dig out all the paperwork and get a good look at the whole picture (ie: I've not done a SOA since 2005). But I do know it is better than it once was...my guess is 16,000 ish at present. But every time I make a start my youngest usually does something like empty the contents of my handbag down the loo or scribbles all over my bank statements!

I think the thing I hate most about it all is the horrid phone calls in the evenings. I not use 1571 to stop it ringing from 6pm!!! Even when I've paid a minimum off they still do it (cos the system hasn't updated yet). Aargh.

SORRY FOR LENGTH OF POST CHAPS!

TurnaroundSue

Hi Pinklaydee and welcome to MSE . Firstly am sending you lots of hugs and say at least you have made the first step by coming onto this wonderful site and asking for help and support:grouphug: :grouphug: There are some great people on here who can give you some fabulous advice. I sadly am not one of those , but will try and give you a little bit of help.

Firstly could you post your SOA up on the board for everyone to see and then see where you can make cutbacks. There is a link, but not sure how to get it up (but I know somebody will be able to soon).

Also is there anyway you could tell you OH the seriousness of the situation and is he able to put money towards your debts? You mention about going to work, but have a problem with childcare. Is it feasible for you to get an evening job, something like barwork, supermarket etc whilst OH takes over the childcare?

Keep your chin up, and I promise you will get lots of support, help and advice now you have joined this site and before long you will feel soooooo much better and things will look clearer.

Take care and once again lots of hugs :grouphug:

shopaholic2008

well done for posting on here, reading other peoples stories will help and there are so many people on here that will be able to offer help and advice. The starting point really is an SOA could you not do it one evening when the kids are in bed or at school etc? Do you find yourself wondering what you have spent money on ~ if so why not do a budget and keep a spending diary?
Keep going and work to targets dont give up you will get there in the end