freaking out...

emma_lewis84

hi all,

been a while since i've logged on and i need to get back on track - I'm sure you guys are familiar with that bubbly feeling of fear in the pit of your stomach when it comes to money?? I have it big time today.

I'm £1000 overdrawn, have £200 on my credit card, boyf is £200 overdrawn and has £700 on this credit card. we also owe my parents £5000 they loaned us towards house, but they'll have to wait!!

he gets paid on Friday, I get paid next week - i'm just really freaking out about how we can ever get sorted for money.

bought a house last July and has been a major drain on resources - had kitchen and bathroom redone (getting finished now) and been spending a lot of money on that. Amazingly, my grandma have me £600 last weekend, which went on paying the plumber and buying tiles. just paid £600 car ins for the yr, and £72 AA.

This month - I will be shopping at lidl, not going out at all till 23rd May (cousins wedding) ...

what I really need to hear is you guys telling me it will be ok and one day we won't be scraping the barrel of our credit cards and overdrafts at the end of the month to pay bills etc??! I'm frighteded, feel insecure and don't like it - being a grown up is rubbish xx

bit of an soa:
39.67 life ins
528.33 mortgage
34 gas
39.04 house ins
11.61 TV
15 BT
18 Virgin
111.31 council tax
150 groceries
946.96

bank_of_slate

Hi Emma, our first few years in a new house were VERY tight, don't rush to get all the rooms done quickly if it's going to make you so skint, even if you can't stand what's there already and you want to make it 'yours'.
I was the same, I wanted everything lovely NOW if not yesterday!
How come you are with both BT and Virgin, can you not get a cheaper whole package?
...Linda xx

emma_lewis84

we want to cancel our BT and just have Virgin - but we can't do that till June as we're in a contract with them and would have to pay them - grr!!

We're not going to do any more decorating now till after Christmas - we just can't afford it.

Talking of Christmas - going to go minimal this yr - not spend much on people, and once we've broken even (round about July I think) start putting £50 a month away to cover the cost of xmas....

I wish I was rich!!

lindens

Obviously its lovely to get your first house and you want everything just right and NOW. But you've done the two important rooms now and maybe its time to take a breather. You just need to be organised about your regular bills and try and identify where the other bits of money go.

Maybe start entering competitions and win Christmas presents. Start buying one a month from now in any sales that you see.

beverleyhills

Emma

Relax and stop freaking out.

Take courage, bite the bulletand work out your Statement of Financial Affairs using one of the tools available.

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.

Take your time because it's a very scarey thing to do. You can only work out a stategy when you know the extent of your financial commitments.

Take it a step at a time and you will be alright.

newyorkcitybride

Hi Emma,

Just wanted to say Hi first and foremost and secondly Yes it will all be alright in the end, as long as you continue to be aware of the situation and work toward sorting it all out.

My new husband and I started renting together in Dec, and we spent out quite a bit on various items like a new sofa etc, and we're just starting to realise that we do have to be a bit more control.

My first suggestion would be posting a full up to date SOA, with all your debts and APR's on there too, someone will always be along to post some tips and ideas about paying down the debts whilst still enjoying a life!

Have you got a letter written up to send to BT, I found I had to get in there pretty quickly to let them know I was cancelling or they tried telling me I would have to give them 1 months notice, so if you can cancel end of june, send them a letter by mid may so they are full aware that end of june will be your last payment.

Your insurances seem quite expensive to me, are these for both of you?
Food could possibly be reduced?
Without knowing the rest of your situation I dont want to comment too much.

Really all I wanted to say was it will all be ok in the end, and you're on the right path just be being aware and conscious of it.

Good Luck and keep posting!

bank_of_slate

emma_lewis84 wrote: »

I wish I was rich!!

Not always a good thing you know! When I worked in a dental clinic, one of the families that we treated won £7,000,000 on the lottery, I remember thinking at the time that it couldn't happen to a nicer family, their youngest of 6 kids has cerebral palsy and needs lots of looking after.
Well it ripped that family apart, they split up, didn't talk to each other and lost touch with some of their kids!

Point is, struggling through together is a great test of your relationship! providing you can both pull together and get through the tough time it'll make you really strong as a couple, AND when you can afford things you'll really appreciate them.
...Linda xx

emma_lewis84

i hate the way money just vanishes!! we each put £600 into a joint account each month but the basic bills cost £1000+ so the extra bits for house have been going on cc's and overdraft grr

bank_of_slate

emma_lewis84 wrote: »

i hate the way money just vanishes!! we each put £600 into a joint account each month but the basic bills cost £1000+ so the extra bits for house have been going on cc's and overdraft grr

You'll probably be on that treadmill for a while so just keep your eye on things, cut down where you can and watch the spending! For Christmas can you ask for family to club together to buy you things that you need for the house?
And join Freecycle, often things come up for nothing that may be really useful in your house! We had second hand stuff for ages! Hell, we even lived together in 1 room in nurses accommodation for 7 months! Spending every morning pushing the old Ford Fiesta desperately spraying it in damp start and trying to breath life back into it.
In a few years you'll look back on it and laugh! We certainly weren't laughing at the time but we do now when we think of all the things we did to get by!
Our claim to fame was getting a second hand kingsize pine bed frame into the old Fiesta...I still don't know how we managed it!
...Linda xx

CCCS_Alan

Hi EL84

One of the first things you need to do is get control of your money. Open a basic bank account away from your creditors to get yourself in control of your money. Get your wages paid into the new account and set up your priority expenditures from here.

If you were to pay your creditors from this account you would pay by either a SO or over the counter. Avoid DD to creds as they control how much they can take which could leave you short for your priorities. Only pay them what you can afford as well even if you can only afford £1 per month, don’t give into the pressure as they will always want more from you.

If you use the following link Basic Bank Accounts, and in the Basic bank accounts section click on publications it will provide you with a list of accounts and what benefits the account offers.
Be sure that the account has no connection to any of your existing creditors though.

Holding off on any more decorating is definitely the right thing to do if your in difficulties. Spending what you don’t have is not going ot improve things
For Christmas you may want to even consider just small personal presents and cards, people will understand as everyone knows houses are not cheap.
If you use the money you would have spent to get rid of your creditors come next year you can then spend more on people as you will not have any creditors to pay.

Good luck

CCCS_Alan

beer_tins

Hi Emma, just wanted to say it does get easier! We are about 2 years ahead of were you are now and are finding it easier already. Once the debts from the initial costs/decorating etc. are gone you will realise things are not so bad! Enjoy your new place, try to cut your spening and increase your income (if possible) using these boards. I'm glad I didn't add the cost of doing up my place to the mortgage and I'm sure you will be as well.