Grave Danger...

tic10

Hi Folks,...Em... I've never did this before and I've just faced up to reality by confiding in a friend regarding my selfish, ridiculous situation. I'm looking for an opinion on my problem. My girlfriend and I are going for our 1st mortgage and house about April next year, we've been together 4years and throughout that time she has been aware of my personal loans. I have being repaying £550 per month - due to an ex-girlfriend screwing me (another story). Therefore, she's effectively allowed me to live out of her pocket. However, I've gradually ran up about 10k on credit cards, thro not wanting to miss out on anything my mates did, and am only managing to to repay minimum payments per month.
My question is when we sit and apply for a mortgage, will the lender have access to this deceitful secret...? My solution was to think that I could get another personal loan to consolidate and somehow keep it hidden. My friend has offered to take out a loan, pay off the credit cards, and then after we get a mortgage I continue the payments. But would the lender see that I've just made such a huge settlement on credit debt...? I don't expect sympathy, but would love some help, because although I may not deserve her, I cant face the fact that I'm going to lose her.....

Thefunkygibbons

In answer to your question, the lender would not have access to the fact that there was a big settlement

Your credit file would just say credit card cleared

I would suggest that you need to budget yourself over the next few months to see whether you can live frugally. If you cannot, then it would be reckless to take on a mortgage as well because that would really add to your troubles

If you can do it, then you may get out of this mess. Others may comment on whether you should be trying to keep such a secret

BTW: Write yourself a letter about how you feel right now and read it whenever you feel like splashing out

Best of luck

zag2me

You shouldnt be thinking about getting a mortgage with those debts.

Not telling your girlfriend (who you intend to share a huge new debt) with a mortgage is just not right.

Come clean, pay off your debts, then look at buying your home.

halloweenqueen_2

Would it not be fairer to her to tell her, as you may have a solution with your friend taking out a loan, you would both still be able to get a mortgage as that debt would be cleared but she needs to know what she's in for. She may be the one that needs to keep control of joint banks accounts in future.
I feel for you as to telling her you may lose her, but what if you go the quiet way and she finds out later, not only do you owe all this money but you lied to her and personally I would find that worse.
You could then sit down together and work out ways of cutting back or earning more to pay back the friend.
Good luck._pale_

as400

"My friend has offered to take out a loan, pay off the credit cards, and then after we get a mortgage I continue the payments."

As long as you feel you can afford to pay the mortgage and pay back your friend then yeah go ahead.

Remember Northern Rock do a 125% mortgage.

rchddap1

I would encourage you to say something to your girlfriend. These sorts of secrets can end up killing a perfectly good relationship. Honesty is always the best policy. Imagine how you would feel if things were reversed and you found out about it. Secrets are extremely dangerous things.

What you need to do is seriously look at what you want. Do you want to 'keep up with the Jones'? Or do you want to live a happy life with your gf missing out on some of the things that your friends have.

Of course you could try and hide it as you suggest. But what if your gf finds one of your bank statements? What if at some point you decide to have all the bills coming out of one account? What if your gf starts talking about a big holiday and says .... you should have £xs to spend....but actually that money is paying off the secret debt?

There are loads of what ifs that you need to consider before you make your decision.