Have just realised the sheer recklessness of it...

faeriequeen

I think that's the point, dodecanese, as you say, it's a question of learning from the experience-after the realisation of things has truly sunk in, anyway!
I think it sometimes takes a while to accept what has actually happened-people have written a lot on this forum about the see-sawing emotions associated with the whole experience of BR and from what I've read, and from my own experience of things, even this far, it's certainly not an easy or straightforward journey.
I think that's one of the reasons this forum is such a huge support to people-there's so much identification with different emotions associated with the build-up to, and process of BR-even though people's individual circumstances differ.
I really wish you all good luck and good, life affirming things-you're good, caring people as I have been fortunate enough to find out on this forum.
I'm sorry not to have been in contact much of late-finding life really difficult at the moment but want at least to try and offer any support I can-hope to be more productive soon.

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Cinderbrook,

Good luck with the court appearance. Get it over with & look to the future now. Whats past is past.

Let us know how it goes.

Angelxx

maxmycardagain

i still cannot understand what constitutes "recklessness", i had debt 12 months ago, and was paying all of it and credit cards,etc

then i took a hit of £13,000 due to a bad debt, had to pay out £10,000 to suppliers, had time off work ill, no income/no sick pay, bingo, the ship goes down within 7 months....from about £12K managed debt to £30K unmanageable

no gambling, no drugs, no drinking, no loose women........(sadly)

betterlatethannever

Max.
recklessness is just that..obtaining debts knowing you can't pay them back, spending money in a reckless fashion (exotic holidays/gambling etc etc.)
Living or surviving with day to day expenses is not reckless.

The OR will have seen it all before and will know instantly is there's reckless spending or not

renegadefm

betterlatethannever wrote: »

Max.
recklessness is just that..obtaining debts knowing you can't pay them back, spending money in a reckless fashion (exotic holidays/gambling etc etc.)
Living or surviving with day to day expenses is not reckless.

The OR will have seen it all before and will know instantly is there's reckless spending or not

Problem is a lot of people get tared with the same brush when they go BR, its as if people on the outside assume they been naughty and somehow run up the debts in a reckless fashion, but its simply not always the case, infact I think 95% of the posts I've read the people are BR from not being reckless, me included as it took me 17 years to admit defeat, so its a shame this stigma is still attached to BR.

betterlatethannever

renegadefm wrote: »

Problem is a lot of people get tared with the same brush when they go BR, its as if people on the outside assume they been naughty and somehow run up the debts in a reckless fashion, but its simply not always the case, infact I think 95% of the posts I've read the people are BR from not being reckless, me included as it took me 17 years to admit defeat, so its a shame this stigma is still attached to BR.

Very true. But a lot of the stigma exists in the mind of the BR only.
When i initially went BR there was no way i would have let anyone know about it. It was a terrible thing to do. Any one i did choose to tell didn't bat an eyelid:rolleyes:

Having looked at the local papers BR section and heard peoples stories on here about how/why they ended up with BR as their only option my opinions towards BR have changed.

There was a time, and not so long ago, where i couldn't say the B word without bursting into uncontrollable sobs. Now i'm able to say to anyone that, yes, i'm a bankrupt, yes i've faced my problems and i've dealt with them in the ONLY way that was possible to me. I've suffered the consequencies and i've battled the depression and the dark feelings, but i've come out the other side, stronger, wiser and much more capable.

The same will happen to you too. It just takes time and exceptance on your part:cool:

LilyBart

Cinderbrook, I sympathise. Exactly the same feelings when I think over the last few years, and I haven't begun to write the history down for the eyes of an OR. I'm sure those above are right regarding reckless spending. It's simply that we've all of us in different ways not anticipated quite how rainy a rainy day can be.
Lily