Oh good grief! New lightbulb moment....

kat79

After having my initial lightbulb moment over a year ago, no progress has been made on my debts and looking back I think I got complacent about things. I havegiven myself a good talking to in the last few days and now it is time to take proper action and follow through with my plans.

I don't have a "proper" job at the moment, I don't qualify for benefits as I haven't made enough contributions over the last year and I live with my partner who is in full time work. I am signing on to JSA but its just paying contributions rather than giving me an income. I am looking for work but as I am 21 weeks pregnant its proving to be rather difficult, which has really knocked my confidence. It doesn't help when "friends" tell me I have no chance of finding work while pregnant. I'm still applying for jobs regardless.

I have been basically living on my OH's charity and my mum has bailed me out of a sticky situation more than once and I'm sick of it. I used to be fiercely independent and now I find myself asking if its ok to put a bottle of shampoo in the trolley as I don't pay for anything (because I can't!).

So here is where it stops. I have made mistakes in the past and I have to pay for them. There have been too many half-hearted attempts at sorting myself out and its been getting me down. I have anxiety issues and depression and I'm sure a lot of it comes from my financial situation.

I'm currently sorting through all my paperwork to see exactly what the state of play is. Bit concerned though as I seem to have lost a folder with about half my paperwork in. Haven't seen it since we moved four months ago... I'm sure it'll turn up.

Well done if you got this far through my waffle!:p
Thanks for reading!

racer256

Hi Kat, first of all congratulations on expecting, it is supposed to be a joyous time. Secondly don't be too hard on yourself. Can you put on a SOA of your income and debts. Sounds scary but there is a lot of people and a lot of help.

kat79

Thanks. I really am happy to be expecting I'm just getting stressed because OH can't really afford to support me anymore, and keeps asking me when I'm going to be earning money. I'm doing my best to put SOA together, on the hunt for that folder - it contains loads of info about my debts and creditors and whatnot!

Just feels like I can't relax when I most need to!

jak

OK. For a start congratulations! I'm 26 weeks pg myself and find myself in a similar situation. Can your OH not help you out? I mean you are going to be a family after all!!! Have you tried getting income support? Ask the job centre if you can apply. Also are you in a surestart area? If you are and you DO get income support you are entitled to a £500 one off payment to help buy baby stuff. As a pregnant lady, I know it is realy hard to apply for jobs. I've had several interviews and not got a look in...not that they say it's because i'm pg! Also the cintizens advice might be able to help you. Try them- they can be so great and it's worth a shot! As for your OH- I think he needs to take some responsibility really, after all it's his baby too...

kat79

To be fair to my OH, he pays for EVERYTHING! The mortgage, the bills, food, things for our baby, drives me places. He does as much as he possibly can and most of the time has to borrow from his family just so we can make ends meet. So yes, he does take responsibility. What bothers me right now is that I can't help out financially yet.

Cleosmum

Once baby is here you can apply for working and child tax credits, which should make things much easier, then you can concentrate on the most important job, being a mum