Need help/advise and understanding

deperado

Hi,
I need help as my debt is getting out of control.
I have 2 credit cards and have let one of them start gaining interest on it.
The other card has paid for some of the other temporarally, and I know it will bite me in the long run.
I am hiding the truth from my wife as I know she will hit the roof when she finds out. I hide the bills from her and lie to her when she asks if everything is ok with money. I am worrying so much it makes me feel sick when I think of it, so I try not to. Wrong I know, but I dont know where to start and dont know how to tell my wife.
Please point me in the right direction, I cant keep this lie up anymore.
Thanks for listening. I feel a little better already

Daz1

Take a deep breath.....there are plenty people on here who can help. I won't discuss the ins and outs of hiding things from your wife because thats a whole other story but you should start by reading the info on this site about cc's and interest rates etc. What are your c/c balances at the moment....what are the interest rates on these cards.....can you meet the minumum payments....how much money can you spend on servicing the debt (above and beyond the minimum payments)?? These are things you will need to answer at a minimum if you want "expert" advice from those in the know.

yellowmonkey

deperado

Welcome and well done on the first step. It is good that you are ready to tackle your debts and although it is an old saying but a problem shared is a problem halved. I think you are going to have to share this with your wife really. You can do it alone but it is a lot easier when you have support. It may seem daunting but you may be pleasently surprised at her reaction. She may hit the roof but as Isaac Newton found out "what goes up must come down" and then you can tackle it together. She may even have an inkling already that something is not right if she is asking if everything is OK with money.

If you get a moment post up an SOA.You will find this as a sticky on the first page and try to include as much as you can. I was the same last year when I decided to do something about my debts and found this wonderfull site. The support you will get on here is second to none.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

ym

Cleosmum

Post up a statement of affairs, we can see if there are any areas where you can save. Are you able to balance transfer onto a 0% card at all?

And please seriously consider talking to your wife, it will be natural for her to hit the roof, but you need the support at home

GeorgeUK

Handy tool for making a SOA
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Have you checked your credit report? You can do this free at experian (cancel within 30 days) and see what debts and defaults you have on your credit history. Also check how many credit checks have been done in the last 6 months. 3 is usually ok before your credit score is affected. Don't bother paying to see your credit score - different companies have different criteria when working this out so what you pay for is not of much use.

After you have an idea of where you are with regards income and outgoings etc - you need to let your wife know. It's not fair to keep her in the dark about it. You have kept debts secret from her - does she have any secret from you? You need to get this out into the open. It will be hard work, but it's easier doing this as part of a team rather than on your own.

She may be asking about money because she can see that there is something wrong. Next time she asks, say i'm not sure - if she offers to have a look at it with you then great. Just don't wait too long - this is her future too. It can be fixed!!

Bismarck

Right, it'll make this simple there's "tell your wife and she's annoyed level 1" and there's "tell your wife/she finds out and she's annoyed level 10 and she leaves you".

At a guess you could be at level 3. If you do nothing and sort it out by yourself without her EVER finding out then you've done really well on more than one level. Still not ideal though.

IF she finds out you go up at least 2 levels automatically through not telling her AND the level goes up regardless as the hole gets bigger as time goes on....

Tell her now and you could live happily ever after after you get over the immediate bump.

IF you try to sort this and she doesn't know, she will be unwittingly making the problem worse and pushing you down the annoyed scale.....and she'll be even more annoyed that she made it worse without knowing... it's a cr*p place to be in but tell her now and you can start turning back the tide.

If you think she'll leave you if you tell her, you've other issues that you need to confront anyway.

good luck. be brave...come back here for moral support before and after you do it, but tell her!!!!

good luck
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