Advice regarding joint loan liability

rme_1978

HI all

This is my first time not sure if im posting in correct place

I have seperated from my partner after 10years together we have 3 children

I moved out of the house with nothing left everything for my children, i still pay 1/2 the morgage and the utility bills, but this means i cant afford to rent so i find myself homeless and sleeping on my parents couch for about 9months now, but i put up with it for my children to have a good home

Cut a long story short we have the following together

Mortgage
Joint loan (House improvements)
Her car Loan in my name only (im an idiot)
Credit Cards in my name only (Joint holiday etc)

My ex has a new partner staying with her now and is now saying she wont pay towards the debts we have built together over the 10years and i dont know what to do, dont want to sell the house as i want my kids to have a good home but also believe i couldnt sell even if i wanted to?

I have thretened to stop paying the mortgage if she stops paying the debts but scared i will loose my share of the house and as i put 30k down deposit when we purchased the house and she put nothing makes me feel sick

I am on a debt management plan and am paying what i can afford but dont want to reduce payment etc to accomidate for ex parters half as i feel she should be paying after all she has everything and i dont mind paying half for my kids but not the full amount (she is getting so smugg about it too:( i havent added the joint loan to the DMP as i didnt want her to have poor credit but if i add to my plan now i need to will she be liable for this?

thanks and sorry to go on a bit
i dont know what she is responsible for hopefully the mortgage and the joint loan