I wanna change my daughters surname!

RustyFlange

Help needed, in brief, I fell pregnant with my daughter, her dad left me when I was 12 weeks pregnant. No contact until she was 2 days old, Registered her birth when she was 3 weeks old and I put my surname as hers purely as I didn't know if he would stick around etc. (he was with me when I registered the birth)

Now we are back together, living together and he has taken my son on as his own aswell as being the best dad in the world to both children. my daughter is 10 months old and now I would like her to have her dads surname. I have been told it can't be done but I thought there was a way of doing it by deed poll or something? Ideally would like it done as soon as possible whilst she is too young to know any different etc.

Any advice etc would be most helpful.
Thanks
Tams

PinkLipgloss

Info on CAB website:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/family_parent/family/change_of_name.htm

RustyFlange

Thanks, I found that information but doesn't really help as I want to find out if I can get it changed on her birth certificate aswell. Or if I had it by deedpoll how to go about doing it.

barjam_2

if you marry the father of your children who are registered on birth cert you can re register the birth and get a new certificate

not sure if its the case in scotland though with them having different law

RustyFlange

barjam wrote: »

if you marry the father of your children who are registered on birth cert you can re register the birth and get a new certificate

not sure if its the case in scotland though with them having different law

We were told this when we registered her, but he is currently still married although seperated and has had paperwork for his divorce arrive this morning. However I don't think he would get married again in all honesty .... I guess I will have to keep my little girls dreams to myself!

barjam_2

i did the same regarding having son in my name but i also had his dads surname as a middle name partner was there when registering, but when i realised we were gonna be together a long time i just swapped my partners surname and used mine as middle name didnt do it legally though, we got married when ds was 6months old no-one told me about re registering until we applied for passports 13yrs later:eek: so thats when re registered and got new birth certificate, if you are'nt getting married for whatever reason just use your partners surname anyway,
and when your daughter is older she can apply for a statutory declaration from the magistrates cost approx £10

simgranny

I know that this is something that you really would like to do, but try not to worry about it if it is not possible or too much hassle to do. Both my daughters have my surname, and now. my 2 grandchildren also have this name!
The girls used to complain that they preferred their dad's surname to mine, but they don't really mind that they don't have their dad's name.
Incidentally, when we finally got married after 20 years together I kept my own surname -I wouildn't want to have a different name from my daughters and also, it would be a lot of hassle changing averything with the banks ,passport office etc etc.

Just a thought but might it be easier for your partner to change his name to yours?

RustyFlange

I think maybe I just wanted something legal rather than just using my partners surname. Thankyou for all of the advice so far. My son has his real dads surname which I absolutely hate but I had no choice in my sons name at all, think this was maybe why I was adament that my daughter would have my surname, although now I regret it.

bigmomma051204

plz dont take this wrong way but just to play devils advocate....you are ALWAYS (hopefully) going to be with your daughter whereas there is less of a guarantee that the dad will be around....he obviously left you before when u were pregnant (due to being married perhaps?) and has therefore not always been such a constant in your life.........and you say that u "hate" that your son has his dad's surname so perhaps if u hadnt gotten back with ur daughters dad, then you'd probably hate HIS surname too.....

It seems prudent TBH just to leave it how it is....as others have said, if your daughter WANTS to take his surname when older then she can do so....lets face it, as i said...it is more likely that YOU will be a constant in your childs life so its probably best (to avoid confusion for kids and in case you ever split up again with her dad and end up hating his surname too!) just to leave things as they are....... as i said - just playing devils advocate (i have been in a very very similar situation myself and sometimes it takes someone to point out the downsides etc!

:A ps - congrats on 2 very cute kids BTW, they look very sweet in the pic!

RustyFlange

You have a good point bigmomma, I never really thought of it like that. the reason he left me when he was pregnant was apparently due to the fact he was scared. He was already seperated before we met although still married as they are only just managing to sort out the divorce 2 years on.

Oh and thankyou, they are both very cute, both muct take after me