Its all a mess

butterflylady

Hi,

I'm not sure why I'm writing this or even if this is in the right place. But I'm just totally confused.

I have a loan outstanding which will finally finish in August 2010 but that is the only debt I have outstanding. I would like to pay this off sooner,but only work part time after the birth of my son. So in reality I can live with it running to its full term.

I have issues at work at the minute where I told me boss I wanted to leave and that I had a new job, which I did but now I haven't had a letter stating my start date, hours or salary so I haven't handed in my notice!! Now they are demanding I start soon as and are refusing to give me anything in writing. I have been just ignoring the situation but I no I have to face up to it tomorrow.

I just don't know what to do about anything at the minute. I recently lost my FIL and my oh understandable hasn't been coping to well. I feel really selfish saying this but I am desperate to have another baby, financially we could cope however my OH wasn't really into it prior to this happening and is now totally against the idea. I have a stupid thing about not having my children when I am too old, I am 26 and have lost babies prior and after my son's birth. So I no I have an up hill struggle to have more.

Anyway I have been trying to save up my money too use towards the loan however when I am feeling downI waste it on cr#p and at the minute I don;t think I can cope with anything else!!

tallyhoh

Hi, not sure what you mean about the job, are the new employers saying they want you to start ASAP without putting it in writing? I wouldnt be happy about handing my notice in without it.

Too old?????? I had my first at 35 & I was planning on leaving it longer.:D

Lorne

There is obviously a lot going on for you at the moment and I would suggest that you take it one step at a time. The first bit should be to contact your new employer and ask for a letter confirming your new position, I know that I would be really reluctant to leave a job without anything in writing and every company I've worked for has had no issues putting the offer in writing along with terms and conditions and pay so fingers crossed the new folk would agree. If not consider whether it is in your best interest leaving for a company who won't do this.

Loan wise - have you thought about putting your extra cash away in a sealed pot if they don't let you make overpayments? I am currently unable to make overpayments on a loan and every spare pound is going into a big tin which needs opening with a can opener - it has taken the temptation away for me, I'm just looking forward to counting it and paying my car off!

Personal life wise, give your oh time, there has been a lot happening and once things start to fall into place and there isn't pressure or grief there you can make decisions together.

Good luck with it, just break everything down into manageable tasks and you'll be good, take care.

butterflylady

Hi

Thanks for the responses. Tallyhoo you have the situation with work totally correct. I am going to e-mail them again later to see if they can sort the issues out. Its ridiculors (sp) you think they could confirm the detials.

With being too old, since I had my son June 07 I have had an unconfirmed early miscarriage last October ( I feel it was one and haveing described everything to my Dr, he agrees) and had many a problem going back on the pill. I am now back on it, however after my first month on it, my blood tests showed that my hormone levels were at the low end of normal. Generally my body takes to the pill well any hormone contraception to well and it takes a long time to get out of my system. Making conceving hard.

I no my OH needs time but I see him with another family member who wants a 2nd baby but isn't able to have one, really kind and understanding but with me its different. I know this is because he would have the baby here all the time and that it is his child. But it still hurts.

I just feel like I need a complete break. I did think about going off sick for a bit, but I don't think that would work. I would feel guilty, end up looking after the baby rather then time to me. So I am stuck.