Hi everyone - £41,000 in debt - need support - emotional not financial

Reformed_Shopaholic_2

Hi everyone,

This is my first post after realising for over a year that i'm in serious financial difficulty. Have read posts on and off and admire you so much for getting to grips with things.
Last weekend I decided to finally bite the bullet and (thanks to this site and the useful links and advice) completed a CCCS debt remedy. Didn't have the courage to complete in full or to click the debt remedy button..but I have completed all info. today and clicked debt remedy but not linked through to provide CCCS with my name address etc. yet - they have suggested a low start dmp and also have been looking on this site on and off for last 8 hours for info and to see your supportive messages to each other and to all the new posters....still too scared to phone them but noticed they are available Monday to Friday only so am thinking (coward) that I will limp on until Friday and then phone them after work.

I'm going to post my SOA (well I will try no promises not too computer savvy) and would be really really grateful of any help or advice you can give.

It is completely my fault that I am in this position and I know there will be no easy solution but I just hope I can get a bit of emotional support and hopefully friendship through this amazing site, that will keep me focussed on sticking to a budget instead of putting anything and everything on plastic.

Sorry, this has been a waffly post and hope i've posted in the right place...

You'll see from my SOA when I post it that the mortgage costs are low - this is because my lovely OH pays most of it from his account and I pay the remainder and all the monthly utility bills instead...

Anyway, I know it's late - haven't eaten since lunchtime (not like me) so going to post this and hope that you will be kind and helpful if too late today will check back in tomorrow after work....I am feeling a little bit positive thanks to the CCCS online recommendation but will probably feel sick and scared until I am brave enough to phone them on Friday.

Thanks to anyone who gets time to reply, I do appreciate it.

<pre><b><br />Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet</b>

<b><br /><br />Monthly Income Details</b>
<br />Monthly income after tax................ 1154
<br />Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
<br />Benefits................................ 0
<br />Other income............................ 0<b>
<br />Total monthly income.................... 1154</b>

<b><br /><br />Monthly Expense Details</b>
<br />Mortgage................................ 270
<br />Secured loan repayments................. 0
<br />Rent.................................... 0
<br />Management charge (leasehold flat)...... 0
<br />Council tax............................. 88
<br />Electricity............................. 47
<br />Gas..................................... 33
<br />Oil..................................... 0
<br />Water rates............................. 34
<br />Telephone (land line)................... 0
<br />Mobile phone............................ 30
<br />TV Licence.............................. 0
<br />Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
<br />Internet Services....................... 31
<br />Groceries etc. ......................... 270
<br />Clothing................................ 10
<br />Petrol/diesel........................... 8
<br />Road tax................................ 10
<br />Car Insurance........................... 33
<br />Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
<br />Car parking............................. 0
<br />Other travel............................ 60
<br />Childcare/nursery....................... 0
<br />Other child related expenses............ 0
<br />Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 8
<br />Pet insurance/vet bills................. 15
<br />Buildings insurance..................... 0
<br />Contents insurance...................... 0
<br />Life assurance ......................... 0
<br />Other insurance......................... 0
<br />Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
<br />Haircuts................................ 3
<br />Entertainment........................... 0
<br />Holiday................................. 0
<br />Emergency fund.......................... 15<b>
<br />Total monthly expenses.................. 975</b>

<b><br /><br />Assets</b>
<br />Cash.................................... 0
<br />House value (Gross)..................... 160000
<br />Shares and bonds........................ 0
<br />Car(s).................................. 200
<br />Other assets............................ 0<b>
<br />Total Assets............................ 160200</b>

<b><br /><br />Secured Debts</b>
<br />Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
<br />Mortgage...................... 75000....(270)......N/A<b>
<br />Total secured debts........... 75000.....N/A.......N/A </b>

<b><br /><br />Unsecured Debts</b>
<br />Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
<br />Amazon Mastercard..............4155......78........22
<br />Barclaycard....................2625......59........16
<br />Egg............................1705......34........21.9
<br />stu loan not pay yet!..........3350......55........3.5
<br />overdraft......................1300......20........26
<br />Lloyds TSB.....................3312......67........15
<br />MBNA...........................7547......169.......28
<br />M&S............................115.......5.........16
<br />HSBC online card...............5812......116.......13
<br />HSBC Gold......................4654......116.......17
<br />MDSW...........................4100......99........21
<br />Beneficial HFC.................2788......55........16<b>
<br />Total unsecured debts..........41463.....873.......N/A </b>

<b><br /><br />Monthly Budget Summary</b>
<br />Total monthly income.................... 1154
<br />Expenses (including secure debts)....... 975
<br />Available for debt repayments........... 179
<br />Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 873<b>
<br />Surplus(deficit if negative)............ -694</b>

<b><br /><br />Personal Balance Sheet Summary</b>
<br />Total assets (things you own)........... 160200
<br />Total Secured debt...................... 75000
<br />Total Unsecured debt.................... 41463<b>
<br />Personal net worth...................... 43737</b>

<i><br /><br />Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on The Motley Fool DWD Board with permission.</i></pre>

<br /><br />======== Enter any other useful information below ========

Gemmzie

Your missing a little bit of the coding from your SOA hun so it's gone a bit wonky. You might want to post it again

And *hugs*. There's a great support network here if you need it or just want a chat/rant/hug. Good luck

cat4772

Welcome to MSE Reformed Shopaholic!

I've just had a quick glance at your SOA and your grocery bill is way high - check out moneysaving old style boards for tips on how to reduce this.

Cat.x

Numpty_Monkey

Hi hun and welcome i think you need one of these:grouphug:

they are really absolute diamonds on here., we'll give all the help and support we can so no need to be frightened of us or the people at CCCS
as Gemmzie has said if you get the wobbly sorted on your SOA the people here will help you

take care :A

Wol2

Hi Reformed

Just wanted to say well done on your LBM (Light bulb moment) and for having the courage to post here. I too had my LBM today....but will be posting later this week about my intentions.

If it's emotional support you want..then let's make the journey together.

And also..one thing I have learnt over the last few months...there are loads of lovely people on here to give emotional and practical support. Keep looking - join the daily chat threads and the challenges for one....and do please keep posting on your own thread.

It's very important that you follow the advice you get given and keep feeding back on the outcome. It keeps all the rest of us motivated and proves to all the lovely peeps on here who spend lots of their time suporting others that you;re not wasting their time.

You couldnt; have come to a better place.

(And to give you an incentive...read the debt-free roll of honour..I did today.....and also go to Southern Scousers sticky thread at the top of this board...lots of helpful advice for newbies like thee and me)

Stay strong...you will get through this!!

HUgs
Wol2
xxx

Well done...I'll be back later this week.

Reformed_Shopaholic_2

Just want to say thanks to everyone and Wol2 for the offer of emotional support really appreciate it. I have been reading Southern Scousers very first post and a lot of his others and it really did help - could spend days reading all the messages and advice and it is really really helpful. Thanks very much for the replies already..thought I was posting too late, could almost cry you're being so nice. As for my SOA I thought it looked a bit wonky so going to try and redo and repost it The grocery line includes the 2 of us, plus cats and all other things like cleaning etc. I have been stupidly spending on my cards for groceries, clothes everything so wrote a list today to try and work out all the food we buy in a month and this is what i've put in my CCCS but not yet submitted should I keep it that high the CCCS and then if they hopefully help me with the low start DMP I could put any remaining towards my debts? Thanks again for replying so quickly and for the hugs and kisses I really needed them

JPS29

Hi reformed and welcome to the board:j

Totally know how you feel, as will most on here. Over 2 weeks ago I posted on the Bankruptcy board due to a failed business and huge personal debts.

Never felt so low in my life but cant describe how this board and the fantastic people will turn this round for you.

I now am not going bankrupt:j :j :j and too will be posting my soa. I owe a HUGE amount too and now I am actually getting some sleep.

keep posting and stay positive, the people on this board are great.

poorandindenial

Hello Reformed Shopaholic

I had my lightbulb moment in December (11th - date is etched in my mind) and I feel like I have really 'woken up and smelt the coffee'.

There is no way that I could have kept it up this long without the advice, support and general loveliness of everyone on here so please do keep on coming back (be warned, it starts to get addictive; sometimes I wonder if I have replaced my spending addiction with a new one - lol). I feel like I have turned a corner now in my attitude towards money.

Please do try to call CCCS sooner rather than later, I am not on a DMP or anything, but I do remember the exhileration and relief that I felt when I realised things were back in my control.

Good luck with getting everything sorted, I look forward to hearing all about your progress on here in the future.

taxi73

Hi and welcome..well done for posting!!..thats the hardest bit done.
Is your diesel/petrol only £8 per month?..also nothing for maintainance..internet seems high as well...
Will have another look tomorrow as it's quite hard to read...well done for posting and you'll gets loads of emotional support on here

all_hours

are the expenses split in a fair way - how big is the mortgage and what else does your oh pay for. you dont have a tv or landline - does oh pay for these.

gas and electricity are a little high - are you paying arrears. dont leave anything on standby - switch of lights if youre not in the room - try not to use tumble drier.

how did the debt build up - do you have anything you can sell.

Jelly_Babies

:hello: Reformed Shopaholic and welcome aboard. You have done the first major step by facing up to the fact you are in debt and deciding that it can't continue:T

The first thing that stood out was your grocery bill, I bet you could halve that by meal planning and preparing a shopping list and stick to it.

Does your OH know the situation you are in re your debts?

I note you haven't put anything in for MOT, car maintenance etc. Are your budgets realistic for holidays, birthdays, clothes etc? I know that I didn;t budget properly and therefore turned to the dreaded CC's when certain events occurred instead.

There are things you can do now, such as find anything you can put on Ebay and Amazon, do a car boot, start a spending diary and record absolutely everything you spend, sign up for quidco for any on line shopping (necessary shopping!) insurance etc, take packed lunches into work.

The most important thing I found was that by being organised and keeping all my bills in a folder I felt organised and I had took back control of the finances. I would defiantely recommend going to www.whatsthecost.com which will show you the effect of overpaying your debt should you ever be in the position to do so and will give you a boost as well. Also have a look at the discounts board and oldstyle boards on here which will help you save money.

You should definately ring the CCCS tomorrow and speak to them. There will be so many people on here who will offer you support along your journey - I am 5 years until I am debt free so I'll be here for a while :rolleyes:

You WILL do it and you will be fine. Facing up to it is the hardest part!

Now go to bed (after you've eaten) and think that this is the start of a whole new chapter.