HELP!! My bankruptcy experience and ensuing fallout

WorriedMum

Hello to all on the forum, Please forgive me if I have done this wrong..or posted in the wrong part of the board. This is my first time ever joining a forum, let alone posting.
Don't get me wrong, thank god I found this forum, believe me it has been my salvation since realising BRO was made. I experienced enforced bankruptcy.
I honestly won't bore everyone with the details but suffice to say knew problems were building and froze, pretended post was not there, thought it would all go away etc. Funny thing is that I did not know of my bankruptcy status until late January when the OR left messages on the phone asking me to contact him. Actual date of court hearing was October2007.
Anyway, loads of complex issues,home in neg equity, charging orders etc.

OR could not have been any more supportive, at my interview I did not see him, saw who i think was his assistant, equally as kind. I honestly think that the OR opted out of the face to face interview with me because he had spent so much time in telephone calls trying to reassure me in my distress, I was in such a state prior that I did not even complete the forms fully but provided my experian credit file. Later got an IE form through the post. OR talked me through it and told me to be "realistic" with expenditure, I think i had put ludicrous small amounts first time. That was 6 weeks ago just waiting to hear the outcome.

I hope people reading this don't think bad of me because i feel that I am coming across with a 'could'nt care less attitude' Nothing could be further from the truth. I have worked hard all of my life, happily divorced mother of 2 . My problem or should I say turmoil at the moment is due to the fact that my 22year son is unaware of my position. He has an exceptional credit history and thankfully works hard and earns a resonable wage. Problem is that we both banked with Halifax. They closed my account without notice after reading my details in the London Gazette. That's another tale, even the OR called them "disgusting" as he had not even sent the letters out.
Anyway, prior to the BR they could'nt offer him enough credit. Today he contacted me at work to tell me that he had requested an increase in his overdraft and been refused. They were quite crass with him telling him that something had happened with his account in the past 3 months that was'nt right and to try again in the future. The truth is that he has banked more money in the past 3months than ever before, he has been working overtime/weekends etc. So believe me he was very upset. I am sure it is because of me and I felt sick to my stomach. He is so confused because prior to my BR he actually refused an offer of an increased over draft.
What can I do to help him? or is that it so to speak, is he doomed to years of being refused credit because of me?
Any offers of advice would help and thankyou for letting me share my troubles with you all.

sparrabeth

Your son should noy be affected by your bankruptcy as long as you are financially separate. He needs to challenge this as it's totally wrong.

Good luxk, and welcome xxx

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Mum. (not really Mum but you know what I mean)

Firstly you are so welcome to the forum...sounds like you are having a tough time...but with the help of your fantastic OR you are dealing with your issues. Well done...whatever has happened b4 you are facing it now & thats what matters.

In terms of your son then Sparrabeth is absolutely right. He is an individual in his own right & nothing that is registered to you should affect him at all. The only thing in common,...I`m assuming, is the address & he should get a credit report asap (experian & equifax) to make sure that Halifax hav`nt registered anything incorrectly . I assume that his acc is Ok ( this of course is personal to him) Then challenge the Halifax & if still has issues then consider whether he wants to continue the banking relationship going forward.

It maybe that you need to disclose that you have had `issues` in the past however he should, in no way, be implicated. At 22 he is old enough to understand...my 17 & 19 yr olds are quite understanding of my problems.

Hope this helps & you Will resolve it.

Take care & let us know what happens.

Hugs Angelxxxx

WorriedMum

Thanyou so much for your support and really quick reply, you can tell I'm not sleeping well because I am reading all the threads in efforts to find some answers

betterlatethannever

Hello worried mum and welcome.

Halifax are a little notorious on here and i had the same experience as you. They couldn't wait to close my account after BR, and very quickly too.

There is no reason that your son should be refused money from the Halifax unless he is linked to you via joint accounts etc.

Its more likely to be other reasons; maybe he has applied for credit a few times within the last 3 months or simply that they are being more cautious in this uncertain economic atmosphere.

I'm sure you have your reasons for not telling your son about your BR, but maybe now is the time. Thats totally your decision to make, but he sounds a sensible lad and i'm sure he would be very supportive.

Maybe he should get a copy of his credit file from the likes of Experian and check theres nothing amiss?

It sounds like you've been through a really tough time and done it all alone, yet your main concern is your son. Thats so admirable and you definatley don't come across as having a 'don't care attitude'

Hopefully someone else will reply with more help or support for you, but in the mean time, good luck and well done for posting:j

So_Sad_Angel

WorriedMum wrote: »

you can tell I'm not sleeping well because I am reading all the threads in efforts to find some answers

Hi,
Me too, not BR yet but OH is taking that route so its only a matter of time for me as I cannot afford to pay everything as he will lose his job...feel like I`m staring at a time bomb waiting to explode...not a nice feeling!!

These guys here are great though & have made bearable knowing I can get through this and although today is a good day...I am up & down.

Keep posting Angexx

Persolv0

Hello WorriedMum
I took the decision to give some details of our family financial position to my sixteen year old daughter and that a trust deed(scottish IVA )or sequestration(Scottish bankruptcy a little like English BR but designed to ensure no one can understand the darned law:rolleyes:(sorry just a rant about the Scottish system)were very real possibilities for her mother and i

I was of the opinion that yes of course at her age the full details would be too confusing but an outline that mum and dad had spent wayyy too much over the years and had now reached a stage that we had to do something about it all .
and frankly also if one good thing can come out of it is that she has seen the ramifications of debt and will hopefully think carefully on an financial decision she makes..I was pleasantly surprised at her attitude and support and frankly proud of her for taking the time to understand how we got there.(i do stress that was careful how i told her )

your worry seems to stem from your Son not knowing.......i think you might be quite surprised at just how understanding he will be if you sit him down and tell him what you ve told us here,d sure he might feel a bit shocked initially but i think you ll feel a big weight lifted.


Best wishes R

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Persolv0

Good to see you posting ...hope you are well.

Angexx

WorriedMum

Thankyou so much Sad Angel and to to everyone for the replies and advice.
Don't get me wrong. My son is fully aware of my dodgy credit history and he knew that I had CCJ'S Believe me for a young lad he has helped me financially. I suppose it is me that feels the failure so therefore haven't told him about the BR. However I did suggest to him today that it might be me that is stopping his credit. He wouldn't have it but I suggested that he write to the Ombudsman or somebody like that.
Yes... it is the address linking us and further I am now with the Coop Bank, obviously they know my history, but I remember them reading a script to me when I opened the account and in that it said something about any credit decision may be taken in consideration of others living at the same address... so I tend to think ...mmm
With regard to the OR... yes he was very sympathetic .. but then I have heard nothing more yet so god knows what is coming. I do know through his assisant that the creditors have been sent letters telling them that I have negligble assetts and he knows that I want to remain in my home.. I am just sitting tight and not sleeping. With regard to my son my thinking was and possibly still is that I will wait to hear the outcome from the OR and then let my son know the whole picture. I just don't want him losing sleep as well after all I am his mam and I know he would worry about me.
Just writing to you all on the board is helping because I have read and watched for month's -- I feel that peeps like Tigerfeet and Richard -S and a lot of the others such as yourself have been living it with me without knowing... Thankyou

Persolv0

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Hi Persolv0

Good to see you posting ...hope you are well.

Angexx

Hello Angel

Yes doing a bit better than the other night.
Im ever so slowly getting My I and E together so hopefully have it posted up with an outline of where we are at early next week(days off)(I did prepare one on the cccs website but it needs more accurate details)

Thankyou very much for asking and i hope things are getting better for you

So_Sad_Angel

Hey Mum,

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. A full & frank discussion is necessary with your son so he is fully `up to speed` with your situation. Kids are great for that.(at any age)..they know that you have scraped & fought to bring them up & your son will support you.

His position is worth the fight (I have nearly 30 yrs in banking so have seen this b4 many times) & he must contest this decision by getting CRA (credit ref agency) reports off internet & challenge in the strongest terms to Halifax...if no joy say you will report to Financial Ombudsman (Haliax will have leaflet ` The Banking Code & You` which he should specifically ask for) .

Hope this helps & don`t worry...you are where you are & you are dealing with it! Thats as much as you can do so try & sleep ( easier said than done).

Let me know & send PM if need to speak offline.

Take care

Angelxx