need advice please

wottodo

hi everyone, not sure if anyone could advise but this is my situation,

My relationship has broken up and we have a mortgage together 50/50, i am planning to leave the house with the kids (i know its not the norm but he wont go and i dont want to force him) was planning to rent somewhere. However i would need to claim housing benifit to top up, but have been told that if my name is on a mortgage i wont to allowed to claim this! Does anyone know if this is the case??

My ex has suggested if this is the case then i sign over my half of house to him and get a solicitor to write up a document stating he owes me x amount, so eventually ill get my money from him! is this poss or a clever option??

We cant sell or remortgage yet as it was brought from the council and for the first 3 years the council has a 'vested interest' in the property, which means if we sell we have to pay back the 30 grand discount we got in the first place which isnt an option.

Any advice would be great thankyou

lisyloo

but have been told that if my name is on a mortgage i wont to allowed to claim this! Does anyone know if this is the case??

I think it is.
I'm not unsympathethic at all to your situation but look at it from the tax payers point of view.
Why should tax payers pay for housing benefit when you have a home already?

so eventually ill get my money from him

Will you??
Is there any guarantee of that?
What happens if he is sick or out of work?
You might get it back at 50p per week or not at all.

is this poss or a clever option??

Absolutely not for the reasons above.
Any solicitor will strongly advise you against this.
Having half a house is not the same as having a promise of money AT ALL.

Your children have more right to stay in the home that he does.
Is he really willing to kick his children out?

Any court in the land will rule in favour of the children staying in the home.
I know you don't want to kick him out (which is very noble) but you should be putting your children first and before his interests.

wottodo

Thanks for your reply, yeah i know from a taxpayers point of veiw its unfair but i work and pay my tax too havent had cause to reply on others before now. Its a crap situation and i havent a clue wot to do. We are going together to see a solicitor next week to see what they suggest etc. Unfortunalty he would rather see his kids move than himself i know i can force him out biut it would make for a nasty situation (hes promised me) and trying to keep it friendly for kids sake. thanks again

lisyloo

but i work and pay my tax too

I don't wish to sound harsh, because I know you are trying to do the besy for your family but the tax payers argument would be that tax is there to pay for people who are genuinely in need, no people who simply decide that they want to live in two homes (I know this totally overlooks a whole load or arguments including domestic abuse).

We are going together to see a solicitor next week

I am glad it's amicable. A good solicitor will put the children first.
There's just something worrying me.
Is the solicitor his suggestion?
Are you being manipulated here?
It's great that you are on speaking terms but normally it's advisable to see solicitors seperately as your interests are different and may be in direct conflict.

Unfortunalty he would rather see his kids move than himself

I don't wish to offend but it sounds like he is not a great father as he is putting his kids before himself.

i know i can force him out biut it would make for a nasty situation

Unfortunately it's very difficult to avoid nastiness in these situations.
Youe needs will directly conflict and it will be very hard to avoid a nasty situation unless you cave in altogether which is not the right thing for your children.

hes promised me

Again I don't wish to offend but it sound like he's threatening you so he comes across as a nasty piece of work (sorry if I mis-understood).

and trying to keep it friendly for kids sake

I think this will be difficult if not impossible.
Your kids need their stability and any solicitor that's not bent will advise that you and the kids stay in the home. It's not a big deal for a single adult male to move house.
Do you have anyone objective with whom you could visit a solicitor - friend, sister, mother.
My feeling is that you are being manipulated by him and someone objective (and solicitor) will set you straight.
Unfortunately women have a tendancy to feel guilty about everything.
You are not necessarily doing the best thing by giving into all his demands, this is not the best thing for the children.
unfortunately you may have to fight him to do what's best for the children.
When they are older they will understand and thank you.

You are best finding someone to help you through this as I don't think ou are being objective and someone else will help to put things into perspective.

Solicitors will usually give you the first visit for free so you can find one you're happy with.

Maybe you have some frlends who've been through this already.

Unfortunately I don't think there is anyway to avoid a nasty situation especially as he seems to be out for himself.

Pinkleylandii

From a female point of view, I would strongly suggest getting your own solicitor. You are separating from a relationship and as harsh as it seems, you need to think of your needs as well. You need advice for your self and what is best for your children. Regarding the children in the house that sounds the best, but you would want access to them, you would wish to see them on a regular basis. What if things become not so nice between yourself and your husband you need it down in writing what your entitlement is to see the children otherwise it could get very messy and upsetting if he decided he did not want you to see the children taking the view that you had walked out of the home. If you are the main carer would this step not be extremely hard for the children in any case? AS to the home, if you allow him and the children to live in it, for how long? you will need to find somewhere to live it could not be for an indefinate period as you need to start afresh. I have heard horror stories of people saying after a split they would sell the house but it never seemed to happen and becuase of that you cannot get alternative accommodation for yourself or move on. My best advice would not go to the same solicitor, a solicitor would not act for the both of you as it is a conflict of interests, so for you to go to the same solicitor for a chat would make me think that it has been instigated by your husband so the solicitor would be acting in your husband's interests. Again I would state, seek independant advice from your own solicitor who will correspond with your husbands. The solicitor will advise you of childcare etc, is your husband prepared to be the main carer of the children? saying it and doing it is two different things. Your solicitor could put all your options on the table for you to decide what would make you the most comfortable. Remember it is a joint house, you have as much right as he and why should you leave it. The best option all round may be if you want and are currently the carer is to sell the house and split your assets and start afresh with the children with HIM having visiting rights. YOUR SOLICITOR NOT HIS is the best person to advise you. Get one that specialises in litigation/family law. Elaine