MMD: Should Wayne protect his finances from Coleen?

cm233lh

If you can't share daily facts of life like finances and the same bed, then what on earth are you doing getting married. Yes there are some practical issues like creditworthiness and wheter they can get a joint mortgage, but they must pool everything as soon as possible and think like a family unit rather than two individuals. She doesn't have a debt - they have it between them. If he starts thinking what he's going to do if they divorce, that's the first step to changing the "if" to a "when".

sheashea1

It's all very well saying they are a couple etc and they should work as a unit but the point is if they do that they will both be financially penalised...plus it is simply not fair to wayne...no one has mentioned the point that once the debt is cleared she may do it again...it is only fair ro grant him a pre-nup because the bottom line is had she come clean in the first place it would have given him the option to make an informed decision about the direction his life was going!

The truth is this simply would not be fair on anyone, you hide that kind of info about yourself then you have misrepresented your character!

Yes he should protect his finances whist helping her come up with a plan and if he does help her make some sort of agreement. Any partnership can go sour.

Strachan

I'm in a similar situation. I brought debts to the marriage as did my wife. She doesn't work for money and looks after the family. The home we live in has been bought with a mortgage in my name only as we wouldn't have been able to borrow enough to cover the house price with her income of £0. The debts are substantial and are moved around by her between our various credit cards. Whenever we apply for a new card the other person becomes the additional card holder which facilitates us moving the debt between our names.
We are currently remortgaging after a 2 year fixed deal and prior to this have shifted all the debt to my wife's name (to cards where she is the main card holder) Being financially seperate has helped us meet out financial and family commitments.

fairladyzxgirl

my opinion is, when it comes to finances, i keep them just that SEPERATE!!

I dont care how much i love them, or how long i have known them, i will not risk anyone being able to get me into hot water and if they cant appreciate what im doing, i do not want to know them in the first instance!!

hyphen-broke

If Wayne ties himself to Colleen financially they'll both end up worse off, at the moment any repercussions of her debt will only affect her and if needed Wayne will be able to help out. Above that though if Wayne pays off her debts she'll never learn any lessons about her finances and will get into debt again. Wayne should get the mortgage alone to protect his credit but if Colleen is going to contribute to the mortgage payments they should have a written document detailing all of the contributions each of them has made. That way if they end up breaking up they can distribute a proportionate amount of the value of the house and Colleen hasn't paid for a whole lot of house she has no ownership of.

ATT_2

Going with the flow here - keep finances seperate else they will have their CR nuked into oblivion.

englishmac

Colleen racked up the debt unbeknown to Wayne. Therefore, she should repay it. I would question whether buying their own home at this point is advisable. On the other hand, the law entitles Colleen to half of Wayne’s assets in the event they separate so he could find any savings are at risk in future. Now is the time for them to seriously consider their future. I do not agree with bailing out at the drop of a hat but the seriousness of the situation can’t be underestimated. Yes, Colleen hid important information from Wayne, information which might have had an impact on his decision to marry her in the first place. But that is a risk everyone takes - he should have looked into that before he took the plunge.

Unfortunately love does not conquer all or forgive everything in the real world. If they decide to stay together, then they should arrange their finances to protect themselves as Colleen pays off her debts. This is of benefit to both of them. They need to be honest with each other and operate as a couple from this point forward and above all, establish some trust between themselves. The relationship will fail otherwise. It is in for some trying times anyway in these circumstances.

There is usually quite a strong gender oriented response to hypothetical situations such as this. It is disappointing in this day and age to witness this. Men and women are as guilty of being susceptible to weakness/taking advantage and often now earn comparable income/choose non-traditional personal lives – ie the man becoming the ‘homemaker’ or child carer. It is a personality and upbringing issue, not a gender thing.

Laquita

It might be best for Wayne & Coleen to try and work through Coleen's money problems. The very fact that they are married (as opposed to co-habitees, although the law is slowly changing in this direction) will mean that Coleen has a [financial] interest in the property under the 1969 Matrimonial Property Act - whether or not she contributes to the purchase price/mortgage.

tallgirld

Definetly!!!! Especially if he has a good credit record. Why link your name to someone in that much debt!! You'd av to be nuts mate.........

Phuddles

Wayne needs to protect his finances. I have been in a relationship for almost 16 years after the break up of my 25 year marriage & our finances are almost completely separate - he is rubbish with money - I am reasonably good - so I look after my partner's savings/holiday account (in my name). My ex was very good at running up big bills then saying 'what's in your savings account, we can pay this bill then pay you back at £10 a month'. I allowed him to get away with it. Bless him (through gritted teeth).