Cant afford to live....help

foreign_correspondent

basically you have got to maximise your income and minimise your outgoings. Apparently a new aerial can be as little as £60, or you can even run a freeview box from a £9.99 indoor aerial!
http://www.digitaluk.co.uk/en/how/faq.html#will-a-set-top-aerial-work-for-Freeview
I would be seriously looking at cutting down these expenditures, your tv/phone/ internet is currently costing you almost £500 a year. Its a lot of cash - well over a months mortgage repayments, which is worth considering.
Also, if you could possibly look at re-organising and getting a lodger in - £50 quid a week would be about 2 and a half grand over a year - in effect the lodger would be paying half your mortgage for you.

foreign_correspondent

continualdiamond wrote: »

Of course it is, but he's going through a 'down in the dumps' thing. He wants a job of course, but is finding it hard to stay positive and have the motivation to get out and about and look.

I know thats hard to understand, i find it very annoying and upsetting at times. I myself look for jobs for him, more than he does himself. I have even been to pick up a application form for a job, he never filled it in. I also found info for a job today online, told him about it, wrote the address down as you had to pick up an application form, its like 5mins from our house anyway, so perfect. He sounded all positive, but has he been to pick one up, no..

I cannot do much more, he needs to do it himself. He's just burrying his head in the sand, hoping it will all go away and a job will just suddenly land in his lap. Every day i get home from work, i ask has he looked for jobs, im either told no not today or yes i have, but not found anything. Not once has he actually filled in an application form, hes applied for some via email and thats it.

He wont get rid of Virgin cos what else can he do during the day he says (its in his name as well, so i cant even cancel it) and spends time on the stupid Xbox. Even had the cheek to say my wage doesn't help that much, which really hurt, because it covers the major things, just about.

oh, I'm sorry, I know how demoralising that can be. It sounds like you are working hard.

Maybe you need to get a bit nasty and point out that if he doesnt get out these and do something the house will be re-possessed and you will both be out on your !!!!!!, and how will he feel then - I know its mean, but its the reality and sometimes people need a kick up the !!!!.

Also, if you point out that even, as a earlier poster said, a hundred quid a week would make a massive difference, and be evuivalent to 8 grand extra on your wages (as he would not be paying tax) that might be an incentive.

Agency work might be easier for him, as there is no huge long term commitment! When I did agency I specifically asked them to send me to different places as I didnt want to get stuck in a rut in one job, but I wanted to try a few places!

I think realistically though, the bottom line is he has to work or you will both lose your investment and home.

best wishes,

fc x

continualdiamond

I will look into the aerial idea then. I myself am prepared to go without tv in our bedroom. (Yep we have a V+ box in the lounge and a normal box in the bedroom). No aerial in the bedroom, but guess could always try a freebox off an indoor aerial like you said and we have an aerial in the lounge, so a freebox might even work, just have to check.

I need to convince OH to cancel the TV though, like i said, its in his name.

Yes he does need to 'wake up' and realise what could happen, if he keeps on the way he is. I just wish i could 'make him', i can only keep trying and will keep trying.

Thanks :-)

RAS

Hiya

Can you get him on here to get advice in his own right? It might be easier for him?

Haver you got anything to e-bay or car boot? Can he do survey and pay for click (only about £30 a month but that is nearly a quarter of your problem solved.

Can he reclaim any tax because he is not now working and the tax year is about to end?

mariagti

Hi, what is the £171 month hire purchase? thats alot of money a month.

foreign_correspondent

continualdiamond wrote: »

I will look into the aerial idea then. I myself am prepared to go without tv in our bedroom. (Yep we have a V+ box in the lounge and a normal box in the bedroom). No aerial in the bedroom, but guess could always try a freebox off an indoor aerial like you said and we have an aerial in the lounge, so a freebox might even work, just have to check.

I need to convince OH to cancel the TV though, like i said, its in his name.

Yes he does need to 'wake up' and realise what could happen, if he keeps on the way he is. I just wish i could 'make him', i can only keep trying and will keep trying.

Thanks :-)

Men, honestly, they are b*ggers!! lol

Give him some responsibility it sounds like you are doing all the worrying about it for both of you. Dig out the insurance policy papers...

Mention to him that you have heard you could possibly get the loo fixed by the house insurance, and ask him if he would have a look at getting it sorted (it might be worth doing a bit of - 'oh, well I am sure you will do better at getting it sorted than me,' 'you will probably be able to find the right bit in the paperwork' 'they will take more notice if you ring up, cos you are a bloke' )basically flatter his ego into having a crack at getting HIM to start sorting out the toilet problem tomorrow!!

Tell him you would really appreciate him having a go at it even if it comes to nothing, and it would be lovely if you could get it sorted, and have a nice dry clean bathrom!

then if he does have any success he will feel a bit better about himself and it will be a strain taken off of you.

You may have more luck with the insurance people if the loo has been damaged by an accident (say someone dropping a heavy item into it!!! :eek: - oh, give over, you know what I mean, like 'my gf dropped the hammer in it whilst putting up the blinds'!) rather that just general wear and tear.

RAS

My mother dropped a hammer in the loo and it left a substantial hole - fortunately just above the water line.

Merlot

continualdiamond wrote: »

Of course it is, but he's going through a 'down in the dumps' thing. He wants a job of course, but is finding it hard to stay positive and have the motivation to get out and about and look.

I know that's hard to understand, i find it very annoying and upsetting at times. I myself look for jobs for him, more than he does himself. I have even been to pick up a application form for a job, he never filled it in. I also found info for a job today online, told him about it, wrote the address down as you had to pick up an application form, its like 5mins from our house anyway, so perfect. He sounded all positive, but has he been to pick one up, no..

I cannot do much more, he needs to do it himself. He's just burrying his head in the sand, hoping it will all go away and a job will just suddenly land in his lap. Every day i get home from work, i ask has he looked for jobs, im either told no not today or yes i have, but not found anything. Not once has he actually filled in an application form, hes applied for some via email and thats it.

He wont get rid of Virgin cos what else can he do during the day he says (its in his name as well, so i cant even cancel it) and spends time on the stupid Xbox. Even had the cheek to say my wage doesn't help that much, which really hurt, because it covers the major things, just about.

I can understand this as my OH was made redundant years ago, and had a period of feeling down, I simply didn't tolerate this feeling sorry for oneself, its not going to provide a roof over our heads or food on the table. I got my OH to spend a good amount of time looking at the internet job sites.i.e. monster/Fish4jobs etc, within days he was offered contract work, which he did for 3 years, with excellent pay.

You must stress to your OH that this is not a holiday, he simply must turn his hand to anything he can get, get rid of the Virgin pack/or lower the package, he doesn't have time to watch it.

I know I am being harsh, but I have been where you are, you need to be firm with him, otherwise a month or two down the line things will gradually become worse if you cannot pay your mortgage.


What line of work is your OH in? I have lots of websites with agency details on, but they may not be relevant, let me know.

Merlot.x.

foreign_correspondent

RAS wrote: »

My mother dropped a hammer in the loo and it left a substantial hole - fortunately just above the water line.

thats her story! lol

loveandlight

Posted by continualdiamond
Of course it is, but he's going through a 'down in the dumps' thing. He wants a job of course, but is finding it hard to stay positive and have the motivation to get out and about and look.

Perhaps it would help him if he were to pay a visit to the doctor as he could be depressed. Taking some antidepressants for a short while might give him the boost he needs to start looking for work and/or might then help him to become stronger mentally to come up with some other ways to earn more money. A heavy handed approach doesn't work for everyone and could speed up any problems with depression, especially if you might be suffering from it yourself as well which would be very understandable given the situation you are in. Good luck.