I'm getting married! Now what!?

KittyKate

Hi guys, well, on the 6th March my wonderful boyfriend of 5 years got down on one knee, presented me with a sparkly diamond and became my fiance

Now what!? I've been to a wedding fair today and it left me a bit confused! People kept coming up to me and saying 'are you the bride?' 'have you thought about xxx and yyy' (all things I hadn't even considered!!)

I've looked at wedding planners online but they all have ridiculous budgets & lots of frills I don't want. My initial plans are (for an August 2009 wedding)

1. Venue...now, I'd like a church then go to a hall/stately home/castle type place - will this be more expensive than say having a civil ceremony at the reception venue? I'd like a 2.30 wedding (don't think our nerves can stand any later :rotfl:)
2. Catering - everywhere I've looked so far is £50 a head :eek:and I have 60 guests for the sit down meal (and about 150 for the evening entertainment/buffet). Now, I don't even like the sample menus and they certainly aren't worth the money (melon followed by salmon en croute then gateaux). I am a true Yorkshire girl and would MUCH rather have a casual 3 meat carvery with all the trimmings (went to a Toby yesterday at £5 a head ) But most venues won't let me bring in outside caterers or even bottles of champagne - meaning they want me to pay £25-50 a bottle for champagne/wine I can get at half that price.

3. Decorations - would love to do this myself - can do balloons, crystals on tables, and can do flowers cheaply. All I need is the venue's permission.

4. Clothing - hoping to get a fairly cheap (in terms of what I've seen!) dress (will take a look at Debenhams) dress & bridesmaids/mother dresses. Morning suits will be hired locally. Nails will be done free by my nail technician sister in law. Will do own makeup. Not sure about hair - do I need a hairdresser (I'd like an updo - could I learn or is it cheap anyway?)

5. Extras - Would like a nice wedding car but are these silly prices? Tiara - have found these under £25 in wedding fairs so will be cheaper online. Wedding favours - looking to give mini soaps in pockets of silk (home made). Rings - would like to use the same jeweler as fiance used for the engagement ring (white gold bands). DJ - should be fairly cheap locally. Would like something fun for the kids - ideas? Maybe a chocolate fountain (saw these in aldi for £12 should I snap one up?)

6. Honeymoon - in true MSE style hoping to get this FREE - 20 family members pigsbacking for Lesiure Vouchers for Thomas Cook - aiming for around £800.

Any suggestions, do's and don'ts very welcome...I expect all new fiances feel a bit lost!

paddingtondoo

You haven't mentioned a photographer in your list - the initial quotes I got were very expensive.

We are getting married at a georgian manor house and then having the reception at the hotel next door and is costing a third of the reception quote but the venue is stunning.

I was quoted £350 for a car for about 3 hours doing 2 journeys each way of about a mile and we are getting married on a Monday which I thought was going to be cheaper :eek:. Am waiting to see what final budget looks like before making any decision.

nunnygirl

Congratulations KittyKate!

Hope it's a big diamond!

I recently got engaged and until I speak to my mum when I see her I have no idea where to start with wedding stuff!


Sorry for the thread hijack (lol!)

xxx

KittyKate

paddingtondoo wrote: »

You haven't mentioned a photographer in your list - the initial quotes I got were very expensive.

We are getting married at a georgian manor house and then having the reception at the hotel next door and is costing a third of the reception quote but the venue is stunning.

I was quoted £350 for a car for about 3 hours doing 2 journeys each way of about a mile and we are getting married on a Monday which I thought was going to be cheaper :eek:. Am waiting to see what final budget looks like before making any decision.

OMG I totally forgot about a photographer well, the one at the wedding fair today cost £1500 base! My friend is a professional photographer, so I am hoping he can do us a good (ie, at least £1000 less!!) deal.

The car hire..wow..yeah, that is the price I was worrying about - seems a lot but what do I know! One of my fiance's friends is a car dealer so maybe we can score a jaguar for the day (would still need a driver though!)

I bet there are loads of 'bits' I've forgotten :rotfl:

MrsTinks

Start with budget... Once you know what you can spend then you can start deciding on everything else. Until then you've got no "max" figure and £500 there and £200 here etc soon mounts up!
Once you have set a budget then look at venues. If you want church then go speak to the minister/priest where you want to get married. If you want to go on to a stately home then it will VERY likely turn into an expensive day. We looked at a stately home but they wanted I think about £2500 just to have the ceremony there. You could only use THEIR approved caterers and NO-ONE could wear heels - bride included... this was because of the protected floor potentially being damaged...
Going from a very lavish affair we've found a place that is so... US! It's a hotel and it's modern (so much for my deeply elegant romantic old manor wedding... ) but we're happy with what we have chosen
We're now 7 weeks away and starting to get nervous! Thankfully the staff at the hotel are great and very helpful - Make sure you are happy with the staff as well as the venue... Bad staff can ruin the greatest venue!

KittyKate

nunnygirl wrote: »

Congratulations KittyKate!

Hope it's a big diamond!

I recently got engaged and until I speak to my mum when I see her I have no idea where to start with wedding stuff!

I've now got two families, one lives in the North East, the other in Nuneaton (where I am) and my prospective parents in law are in Suffolk!!

Sorry for the thread hijack (lol!)

xxx

Thankyou! The diamond is gorgeous, my fiance designed the ring on valentine's day and waited for it to be delivered & assembled (then spent a week with it in his pocket picking a time to propose!!) It's a solitare emerald cut (my dad bless him misunderstood on the phone and told everyone I'd got an emerald engagement ring!!)

My parents (divorced and NOT on good terms :eek:) live in Yorkshire and my inlaws in Lancashire (so looking for somewhere in between! everywhere is so expensive!!)

KittyKate

tine wrote: »

Start with budget... Once you know what you can spend then you can start deciding on everything else. Until then you've got no "max" figure and £500 there and £200 here etc soon mounts up!
Once you have set a budget then look at venues. If you want church then go speak to the minister/priest where you want to get married. If you want to go on to a stately home then it will VERY likely turn into an expensive day. We looked at a stately home but they wanted I think about £2500 just to have the ceremony there. You could only use THEIR approved caterers and NO-ONE could wear heels - bride included... this was because of the protected floor potentially being damaged...
Going from a very lavish affair we've found a place that is so... US! It's a hotel and it's modern (so much for my deeply elegant romantic old manor wedding... ) but we're happy with what we have chosen
We're now 7 weeks away and starting to get nervous! Thankfully the staff at the hotel are great and very helpful - Make sure you are happy with the staff as well as the venue... Bad staff can ruin the greatest venue!

Thankyou! Yes, that is EXACTLY what I am finding. £2500 just for hire, plus £50 a head min catering (no outside caterers), no outside alcohol, no loud music, one specified 'no dancing'! There are so many regulations and so much expense, and I'm now looking at smaller, more intimate venues. I'll know it when I see it

Oh and CONGRATULATIONS for your wedding :beer:

MrsTinks

Thank you lol! Don't worry - a venue WILL crop up and when you see it you'll get a good feeling about it When we first saw our venue it was done up for the events organisers mums wedding so we were able to have a good look round and get an idea of what it would look like!
2nd time I had lunch in the bar and we had the most amazing barman... huge sideburns, big booming voice and just a real old style gentleman... and I felt so at home! So we knew it was right - infact several MSE'ers have got married there as they also do something called "a grand wedding for a grand" I think it'll work out at about £3000 for all the food and drink for the wedding breakfast and evening (3 glasses of wine per guest, a welcome bucks fizz and a glass of champagne instead of sparkling wine for the toasts and the room hire for both the day and evening - that obviously also includes all the staff and a manager to act as our "master of ceremonies". Not too bad I think

nearlyrich

FIRST OF ALL CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Next as Tine said work out how much you want to spend then decide between you and your DF what is important to you on your special day.

Weddings give everyone the right to tell you what you should do (not) make sure you get what you want and can afford, you are never going to please everyone.

Have you thought about somewhere like Harrogate for the wedding as it's easily accessable from Lancs and Yorks and there are plenty of hotels and guest houses if people need to stay?

Don't forget as soon as the W word gets a mention prices go crazy!!

paddingtondoo

I've got past all the big stuff costs and am now looking at all the small things and its frightening how they are all adding up.

The odd £10 here and £20 here can soon add on another £500. Bridesmaids shoes @£15, tiaras @£5 and jewellery @£5 sound cheap on their own but for 3 of them that's another £75 on top of their dresses.

Favours and table bits can soon add up as well when you add it all together.

I started with a quote of £1500 for photos but have now got it down to £360 for copyright free on disc so we can do our own albums.

shopaholic1373

hi you did say where you were based wanting weddingi am sure if you lets us know we can find some mse friendly photographers venues etc