Lending money to friends & family

richie799

Usually you need an agreement on paper he was going to pay you back, thats what I learned from watching Judge Judy

stindle

friends and money never really mix well. Burnt once and never again. Anyone is traceable these days, especially through social networks. In fact i have a friend who works for a debt place and they use fbook to find people all the time. Often a family member will tag them at a place or something stupid like that. hope it works out for you.

1DayAAT

Just an experience to weigh in, I have loaned my brother £2,000 twice after he ran into financial problems with having a young family.. and he paid me back in installments of £100 per month with no issues.

John_Pierpoint

Yes I borrowed (in today's money values) £15k from my sister, to buy my second house and managed to pay her back about a year later.
However that does not solve the problem of there being a lot of people who will do almost anything to borrow money and within a year or two will get all resentful and self justifying about B]not[/B paying it back.

The simple questions are:
Why do they need to borrow this money ? [Because they are incompetent in managing their economic lives?]
Why do they need to borrow from me? [Because I am a soft touch and the other sources of finance have turned them down, especially the professionals in this market the banks - why ? Because they are identified as a bad risk]

If you still want to help at least ask for a post dated cheque as a gesture of good faith on your agreement.

sammia34

Hello I am really hoping someone can give me some advice. I was with my partner for approx 18 months, he lived in my home for the last 10 months and paid some monies towards day to day living. In September he told me he was taking a loan out as he had some bills he needed to pay and also towards our wedding. I found this strange as he had no bank accounts at all ( he said he had never needed them!!!) so he then told me he was going to ask his mum for the loan as he had all his wages paid into her building society for which he had the card. His mum agreed to the loan, he then asked if he could have the money paid into my sons account who is 19 years old because rather than him taking the money out at £200 per day my son could withdraw it all and give it to him.My son agreed and his mum paid the cheque into my sons account and it is shown it was withdrawn later in full. Now here comes the problem although money was then given to my ex partner and he made the payments from his wages from his mums account we have now split up rather nastily i would say with harrassements orders being taken out. My ex partner has denied all knowledge of the money and basically called me a thief and that his family are taking my son to court if i dont pay it back (I never had it!!!) I am now demented with worry my son has aspergers and a/ couldnt cope with court and B/ doesnt have any money. Please help and give some advice. Many Many thanks.

letthemeatcake

Your ex boyfriend's Mum took out a loan in her name (on his behalf) and had the proceeds paid by cheque directly into your 19 year old Son's account. The money was take out by your Son and given to your ex as previously agreed.
Now they are claiming the money was removed by your Son and not handed over? Is this correct?

How does she intend to explain why she had a cheque paid into your Son's account when she had a perfectly good account of her own? In court she'd have to show why she took out a loan and then paid this large sum into another persons account without any written guarantee or certainty she would get it back.



They are hoping that your Son will be forced to give in rather than face court but please stay strong.

I'm not sure who you can contact for advice but I'm sure somebody knowledgeable will come along shortly.

How was the money withdrawn? cash or cheque?

sammia34

Hi thank you so much for the speedy reply , yes the cheque was paid in to my sons account and then it was withdrawn in cash in October exactly at the clearing period after it was deposited. I was with my son as he has problems sometimes communicating, we then went home and I gave the cash to my ex. He then proceeded to pay his mum weekly from his wages that were paid into his mums building society account. We split 4 weeks ago and he has then sent numerous texts to myself with all different amounts that I apparently have!! Now today his brother contacted me informing me that he has been told he was to recover the money and that he is taking my son to court for the full amount, I am demented with worry:(

Tixy

How has the brother contacted you today? By letter? phone call? text?

Is son over or under 18?

Has mother been in touch at all regarding the alleged loan?

I would write (post) a letter to mother to state that her sons have been in touch with you regarding an alleged loan owed to her. Clearly state in the letter that your position is that neither you nor your son owe her any money. Acknowledge that she did write out a cheque to your son but that this was a loan from her to her son and your son withdrew the full amount and paid it in cash to her son on x date and that you witnessed the cash being paid to him.

Keep the letter short, simple and to the point.

sammia34

Hi the brother contacted me today with a text, this is probably because my ex was issued with a harrassment order on Saturday so is no longer able to contact me. The mother only contacted me on the day we had split up over 4 weeks ago and I didn't speak to her as I was in no state to do so and also she sent me two texts but only asking what she should do with her son!! My son is 19 year old, what I am so worried/ angry for is they know my son is vulnerable hence it's a way of getting to me and also from the sound of the text from his brother my ex is not giving many answers either. The police have informed my ex that this is not a police matter and to be honest I wasn't worried as I never in a million years thought my son would be involved. I also have to say initially my ex only wanted the wedding money back , this was initially put away in a jar in the kitchen and was about £1500 but with the run up to Xmas it was dipped into by myself and my ex so had about £130 left which I paid his rather substantial paper bill off when he left of £106.00.

Tixy

It doesn't sound like ex's mother is intending to try to take court action against your son (or you).
Your ex's brother cannot take court action against your son or you (as there is no question that any money was loaned by him to anyone).
If your ex tried to take court action against you - perhaps for the £1500 then you would need to deny that he loaned you any money. It does not sound like he have any evidence of you owing him money or a loan to you - and he would need evidence for a sucessful court claim.

In the unlikely event anyone does try court action then you or son would need to reply to the court forms to deny the debt.

I wouldn't reply to any texts from the family members and would just send a letter to mother.