Lending money to friends & family

andy.m_2

You want the chance of friendship even though she has !!!! on you from a great height?

Give it up and be grateful of seeing the light

Audrey_286

All I can say is that I sympathise with all those who through their kindness have made the fatal mistake of lending money to crooks.

I have been in the same boat: fell in love with this psycho who moved to my house straight away, he paid "rent" for the 1st 5 months (I was only asking £200/month incl. bills) then he was unemployed and not only did I carry on paying for everything, food, petrol, insurance, council tax, holidays abroad... you name it I paid it all alone, I also got a credit card (he had bad credit ratings) and lent him £1.5K stupidly thinking he would pay me back when he sorted himself out... Guess what?! He never did whilst we lived together, there was always something and though he earned more than me, I have no idea what he did with his money...
When he moved out, despite saying he would repay me as he was aware I helped him and he was grateful, etc... I only got about £200 back then he made excuses again and he's now very happy to be out of my life and not pay his debt ever.
He now rents a house alone and manages to have a decent living, spends half his life down the pub drinking like a fish, and despite claiming he has not had work over a month, he doesn't struggle when he was whilst living with me and being overworked! On the other hand, I am just starting to get back on track, having struggled over the past 14 months with his crippling debt and paying my own. I guess being on my own all expenditure has dramatically come down so that's helped me loads.

Over the 2yrs we were together between this credit card, all the interests, and everything I paid for, he conned me out of £5k +. I have lumped it and decided I only have myself to blame for being that stupid and helping out somebody who did not deserve it. You live and learn... Good luck to all.

paddyrg

Treat any loan to a friend as a gift. If they gift it back to you later, it's a bonus. Hence, do not lend them money you wouldn't want to give them anyway...

Apples2

bobthebest wrote: »

i would'nt know

The sooner you bring us your :spam:, the quicker you will be gone.... Why not just go now??

Mexicoco

Hello everyone,

New to this forum (any forum).

Amazed to see so many people with similar issues.

I was looking for advice on a loan that my wife guaranteed for her sister.
Her sister made up a sob story about needing a short term loan of £3000 to tide her over till a pay rise/ bonus came in. We have since found out that this was lies and she has been covering up a mountain of debt she has ran up (and also saddled another family member with loads).

We have been checking the payment history and the monthly payments are not being paid or being payed late which is adding to the fee. My wife is constantly being chased by the loan company for the money with threats of her being credit black listed. Knowing the exstent of the sisters debts we know this will not be stopping soon.

It looks like we will eventually have to pay it ourselves and are considering paying the loan off in full before it keeps rising and have more to pay off in the end.

Also we have found out that she tried to take out a second loan in my wife's name without asking her using her mums bank account details. This was flagged up and stopped with more lies/ excuses to cover up.

There's not much info about what rights we have as guarantors. Do we have the right to get my wifes name off the loan? Is the there any legal back up or is it a case of we are ultimately responsable for it.

Thanks in advance.

CHR15

Mexicoco wrote: »

Do we have the right to get my wifes name off the loan? .

Only by repaying it all

Mexicoco wrote: »

Is the there any legal back up or is it a case of we are ultimately responsable for it.

Afraid that is the bottom line.

The lender knew she wouldn't repay hence the requirement of a guarantor.
You need to clear this lot asap, each late payment is having a negative affect on your wifes credit file (and yours if you are financially linked to your wife)


Maybe you could help dissuade this poster from acting as a guarantor!

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=2963142

Mexicoco

Cheers Chri5,

We thought that might be the only outcome. I was hoping for a magic phone no. that would make it all go away without costing a penny but not many of them about.

Thats it now paid off and hopefully shame with one day come to her and she'll settle her debt with us. Going by recent victim attitude we'll be waiting a while.

Thanks.

only.partly.my.debt

Thanks Andy, Audrey, etc for responding. Feel I should apologise for the giant post! But felt better for getting it off my chest.

I had a feeling there'd be no easy answer (Mexicoco - I completely understand - magic wand please!).

If anyone is reading this thread because you're considering doing lending someone money - DONT!

Learn from other's mistakes (the way I didn't because hadn't had a quick look online first) and don't land up with the same problems.

Also note how few people are posting about how they feel really awful about taking advantage of friends/family who can't afford it, acknowledging that they have a problem with money and looking for advice as to how they can repay the debt and salvage the relationship... What does that tell you?

Thanks again.

fozmcfc

paddyrg wrote: »

Treat any loan to a friend as a gift. If they gift it back to you later, it's a bonus. Hence, do not lend them money you wouldn't want to give them anyway...

This is now my way of thinking, if I have the money and I know a friend is struggling I will give money rather than lend to a friend.

Last few years though I now hardly ever give money to friends and 9/10 I refuse, because I'm still sorting out my debt and I'm now extremely tight with my money even when it comes to myself.

*Louise*

Just stumbled across this thread, and and shaking my head in sympathy, because I'm just as daft!

I am the softest mug in the world when it comes to loaning money to family members. For some reason I'm the one who ends up feeling guilty asking for MY money back!!

The one annoying me at the moment is my brother. Loaned him £500 in March 2008 (flat deposit), hardly saw him for a while after (he lives a bit away) then hubby was made redundant twice and brother claimed he was short of cash and couldn't afford to pay it back.

Fast forward to 2010, hubby has decent job again thanfully but brother still hasn't paid anything back - then I find out he has spend £700 taking his girlfriend for a weekend in London to propose...and now he can't pay anything back cos he has a wedding to pay for:mad:

He has until March, after the wedding, it will have been 3 years and I'm going to tell him I want £50 p/m back from him. NEVER loaning to him again, even if he is made homeless.....he has ruined it for himself

Anyone new to reading this thread and considering loaning - DON'T DO IT!!!