Backlash?

Pobby

2.2 here.For the size I don`t think it`s bad.

BFDPAUL

Hi everyone, what a great thread and nice to hear some very positive comments. The main theme from nearly everyones contributions seems to be an acknowledgement of their debt and its their debt. Yes theirs "marketing" and i dare say there is considerable "pressure" from all sides on us to buy. But were all human and and when more personal problems occur in our daily lives ,we all react in a different ways. Nice to see the younger end of DFW,s with such wise comments and looking at the bigger picture. To learn their lessons early on in their lives will surely stand them in good stead!.
Again a great and thought provoking thread Pobby whoever you are ?
Good luck everybody with your endeavours.

Gemmzie

I do think though (playing devil's advocate here) that it can go too far the other way.

People afraid to spend, tight to the detriment of their children's education for example.

Frugal is good, not being wasteful or materialistic is very positive BUT there's still extremes on the saving side of the fence too.
Look at the number of elderly people pleading poverty, can't heat them homes, who turn out when benefit assessments are done to have tens of thousands in savings.

chimp_choker

Pobby wrote: »

2.2 here.For the size I don`t think it`s bad.

Ah... mines the 2.6 vr auto and with the sports box on, the kick down in operation and a straight road I can get 7.3mpg lol....


Thankfully I'm of an age where boy racer status ended at least 25 years ago.. up until the finances bit hard mid last year we were home and away supporters of Hartlepool United FC so day trips to the likes of Brighton, Torquay, Yeovil, Bristol etc were a common event. Bearing in mind we live in Hartlepool a round "day trip" to say Torquay was 730 miles at 30mpg at best.... but it was comfortable.

chimp_choker

Gemmzie wrote: »

I do think though (playing devil's advocate here) that it can go too far the other way.

People afraid to spend, tight to the detriment of their children's education for example.
Frugal is good, not being wasteful or materialistic is very positive BUT there's still extremes on the saving side of the fence too.
Look at the number of elderly people pleading poverty, can't heat them homes, who turn out when benefit assessments are done to have tens of thousands in savings.

You are right there Gemmzie, before my mother dropped off the perch she was in a sheltered housing complex and occasionally when the benefit checks were done the majority of those claiming income support etc could be seen stashing rolls upon rolls of £50 notes all over the place. Favourite place was behind the electric cooker in my mothers complex. Sadly my mother wasn't one of the richer ones and had to rely on income support to live.
However my son has learnt from my wife and I. We were the typical parents who would lavish all sorts of monetary value on our only son ( because we could) and now he's seeing the down side of life's little ironies. He's at Uni now and in his first year. He has only just gone into his overdraft at christmas but he now donates himself for research projects at uni as they pay £50 a shot, lol. He arranges concerts and bus transport to gigs and charges a fee for that and He's very disciplined, putting a small amount into an isa each month, only buying concert tickets if he has earned the money to pay for them and also comes home every fortnight starving hungry and with bags full of washing. He has flat mates that are all spent up and one said " but that's what an overdraft is for....spending" He replied, it's not my money and has to be paid back so I won't use it if I can help it. He'll do alright will our son......

chevalier

I think the whole consumer spending thing is weird. I also think there are a whole load of people my age (40), that missed the consumer boat. My teen years were the big recession (before the Falklands war and after it). It is the only time I have signed on and I hated it. So I have a p reg car, that is pretty reliable. I would love a newer one but would have to finance it, so I don't get one.

We were in a pub the other day, I walked by a person, who commented cor look at her dressed like she is in a time warp. I was both insulted and pleased at the same time. No I don't follow fashion, yes I do dress for comfort, no I don't spend hardly anything on clothes. But so what? The only downside is that now most of my clothes need replacing at the same time, but hey ho the last 5 years of so have been virtually purchase free.

We were happy to get a new to us sofa from a friend who was emigrating, and his table and chair, and really posh microwave (the 15 year old model still worked and went back to my in laws as a spare fro them!!!).

My washing machine packed up, we had a bit of a panic but found one that is younger than my old one, with a faster spin, for free on freecycle.org. And we have just made my old DS day by finding a John Lewis cabin bed on there (circa £200 at least), again for free.

I think the real problem is the instant gratification thing. It is not just spending money, it is spending money stupidly. Ie you want a HD tv see one in curry's and buy it there and then. Whereas if you were spending the money intelligently you would research that tv online, see where you could get the best deal, whether you could get cashback and THEN make the purchase. You still end up with a lovely tele, BUT it takes you an extra day or two to own it.

And my personal rant:rolleyes: . I went to the household waste recycling the other day and was STAGGERED what people had brought there to be recycled. Eg a full set of cutlery, nothing wrong with it, perfectly good bikes, nice crockery, an unopened box of soap, etc etc. Now I am glad that they have taken the trouble to take it to be recycled, but it could have ALL gone on Freecycle instead!!!!!

anyway rant over and thanks pobby for the thread
chev

Pobby

Nice one chev!A good and very sane post if I may say so.Little annecdote.I have a friend who earn`t major money late 80`s early 90`s.Computer hardware engineer and a old style hippy to boot.As he explained £1,000 a week,yes a lot of cash then,job dissapeared.Technology marched on and his skills were no longer needed.

He was very prudent.He paid down most of his mortgage with the cash and had little outgoings.Not a guy to live off the state,he became an odd job,fix your car,sort out your computer type of guy.Never married,he was his own boss.

His income was so low that he was excused the council tax.If someone couldn`t afford to pay for his services they would barter.So a quick car service might result in a box of vegatables!He is a veggie btw.Loves his wine and will use hedgerow fruit to make it.

Now you might think my friend lives in a remote village.Far from it,he lives in a major town.All to the good.He finds some amazing stuff in skips.Cleans them and repairs them if need be and sells them for a few pounds in the free ads.

OK this guy doesn`t have a TV from choice.Drives a nearly 25 year old car (although he cycles most places)and yes his house could do with updating.

What brought it home to me,we were standing by a busy main road and a very flash BMW went past.He said``Look at that guys life,he is probally up at 6am,commute into London,days work,home in the evening.What for,just to own one of those.Me I getup at 10am,look out of the window and if it`s pouring with rain I might well go back to bed.``

OK the guy has few commitments but it brought home to me the stark contrasts of these two life styles.Who is the happier I wonder?

fc123

Gemmzie wrote: »

I do think though (playing devil's advocate here) that it can go too far the other way.

People afraid to spend, tight to the detriment of their children's education for example.

Frugal is good, not being wasteful or materialistic is very positive BUT there's still extremes on the saving side of the fence too.
Look at the number of elderly people pleading poverty, can't heat them homes, who turn out when benefit assessments are done to have tens of thousands in savings.

I enjoyed reading this thread last night (all part of my DFW therapy process) and I recall in Alvin Halls book about upbringing and attitudes to spending etc.

My father turned out to incredibly wealthy , my mother found out during their divorce. We grew up in a gigantic, freezing, derelict house.
Turned out he'd also bought a 2 bed flat in Central London.
Also had a few hundred thousand in the bank.

Was he wealthy because we lived like paupers ? (and I'm using the word properly)
The frugality of our upbringing was extreme. My toes are quite deformed as we didn't get a new pair of shoes when we grew out of the old ones.

It affected me and my siblings greatly in terms of our outlook in adult life.

We have all raised our families differently.
My sister married very well and can (and does) spend for England but is not in any debt at all. She has managed to fill a huge 6 bed house with stuff and still finds room for more.
My brother has earnt v.well in the past 15 years but, apart from buying a house, had a great time, has spent the lot...now he has wife and 2 babies, he is having to change his ways somewhat.

I, the eldest, earn well (but married for lurve + it lasted!) and am now, during our DFW journey, coming to terms with frugality and spending.....meeting in the middle.

In the desperate race to clear the last chunk of debt, bits of my dads behaviour are coming out. I work hard not to become too OCD about certain savings. It was a trait that suddenly came to the surface 1 year back. I didn't even notice until OH said I was becoming a bit extreme.

I haven't put a sign in the loo stating "Only 2 sheets to be used" and we work hard to afford things to do with the kids education.

I have a lifelong friend who has a mean streak that, I feel, has affected all her relationships throughout her life...her inability to share on every level seems quite eccentric now.

rog2

fc123 wrote: »

I haven't put a sign in the loo stating "Only 2 sheets to be used" and we work hard to afford things to do with the kids education.

I once saw one with 'Due to rising costs, please use both sides' in the loo at one of my customers' offices. I wondered if he was being serious, but didn't dare ask. :rotfl: :rotfl:

Great post, fc. :T :T

StressedSteph

I totally agree with everything you have said. I had my lightbulb moment last November and have drastically cut my spending, cut down my bills, & shopping expenses. I have been making my own bread & cakes, and I have even made my own household cleaners & washing powder (loads cheaper and less chemicals). I have even taken to sewing up hubbys holey socks & patching the knees on his trousers.

My other friends, bar one, think I am crazy and have lost the plot. One day they may have their lightbulb moment and join me in this craziness :rolleyes: . I know that most of my friends are up-to-their-eyballs in debt but just keep on spending. I am so glad I had my LBM and have stopped the rot.

I do hope I can pass some of this old style living onto my children before they get sucked into the "Must have it now" way of life.