Help with Facing things

Dee5412

I know I am in debt and in a lot of trouble although I have not defaulted or late paid anything. I know what I have to do but can't seem to do it - contct CAB do a plan of all my debts - has anyone else had this problem and also is there a debtors anonymous. If I do a plan do I have to put my husband's wage and all the house bills as he pays all of this and the mortgage? thanks a lot

Fran

Hi Dee,

All of the places like CAB & other debt help lines (eg. CCCS) are confidential and will listen to what you have to say. If you want to just talk maybe phone the Samaritans? You could also do an internet search to see if there is any debt help specific to your area.

I would guess there are many many people who have difficulty in getting to grips with debt and other problems once they have got out of control or been left for a while, you are definitely not alone with this. You might have some depression which may or may not be caused by the debt situation which won't help either. The important thing is that you have made a move towards getting help by posting on here and there are a lot of people who have been in similar situations who will try to help you.

Have you told your husband the true situation? This could be an important part of sorting this out, you really will need to talk to him about it if there are things he doesn't know about it, then you have two people trying to solve things.

ffs

It took me over two years from the first time I found out about the CCCS and downloaded their help packs, until the day when I actually contacted them with a view to asking them to set up a DMP for me.

That two years was a huge waste, I was financially worse off before the DMP than after (because I now spend less servicing the debt), and my debts increased during those two years. So not only has the day when I become debt free been put back by two years, but it has also been extended further still because my total debt figure is higher.

You could wait a couple of years like me if you like...

mountainofdebt

Dee

By simply admitting that there is a problem must take a huge weight off your shoulders.

As a 2nd step (1st was admitting there was a problem) why not post your details on here? From what I understand there is usually a wait to see someone from CCCS (not long but must seem a lifetime when you're desparate!) and you've come across a goldmine of practical help by simply logging on.

margaretclare

Hi

You say you're in a lot of trouble although you haven't defaulted or late-paid anything. Sounds as if you're NOT in trouble *yet* but you can see that there's a problem. This is a good time to start!

Have a look at Martin's budget calculator on this site. If you go to CAB or anywhere, they can't help unless you show them the figures. You put in your total household income - your earnings, OH's earnings, benefits, anything else. Then you put down your outgoings. CAB talk in terms of 'Priority' and 'Non-priority' spending. Priority means the essentials - rent or mortgage, council tax, electricity, gas, water, those kind of things. Credit cards, loans, catalogues, debts to family members, all those are NOT priority. So before you can do anything you need to draw up your budget. Get out all the bank statements, bills, all the paperwork and sit down with some large sheets of paper. If you and your husband can do it together this will be the best - you can only deal with things as a couple. So, a couple of hours' or so work for you to do, then you can come back to us.

Best wishes

Margaret Clare

caroline1973lefty

... also is there a debtors anonymous. If I do a plan do I have to put my husband's wage and all the house bills as he pays all of this and the mortgage? thanks a lot

Hi, I am new around here, thought i would let you know that there is indeed a debtors anonymous - check it out here http://www.debtorsanonymous.org.uk/

I haven't been myself (yet!) but I go to 2 other 12-step fellowships for other addictions and find them *very* helpful - both in addressing those addictions, and as a side effect, getting a bit more financially manageable.

12-step groups work on the 'therapeutic value of one addict helping another' - a bit like MSE really! I totally relate to your comment that you know what you 'should' do, you just can't do it, and hope things have got a bit better for you since you posted this.

mom23

Dee5412 wrote:

I know I am in debt and in a lot of trouble although I have not defaulted or late paid anything. I know what I have to do but can't seem to do it - contct CAB do a plan of all my debts - has anyone else had this problem and also is there a debtors anonymous. If I do a plan do I have to put my husband's wage and all the house bills as he pays all of this and the mortgage? thanks a lot

Hi dee loads((((Hugs))) like you i had not defaulted or made late payments, but realised i would if i did not sort myself out, there are so many ways of cutting back, can you not post your SOA and see if these brilliant people can help you out!! :heart2: