Friend in trouble with family

ovetta2001

Hello guys, sorry but the story might be a little long…

My friend is a nurse and 8 months ago was in her dream job but in a lot of debt. She still lives with her parents but they are close so this is fine. He mum lent her £4000 to pay off one of her debts which she was slowing paying off.

6 months ago she was in a car accident and got £50,000 compensation. She gave £10,000 to her mum for the debt and a thank you, paid off the rest of her debts and saved the rest for a new house in the future.

Today she came to me in tears saying her mum and step dad came to her. They have spent the money she gave them and now say they owe her the £4000 she borrowed. She reminded them that she gave them over double that but they said it was a gift! Then they said she either does it or she has to move out.

Now I don’t know if I’m being biased but my friends in pieces and I think her mother has a right nerve. What does everyone else think?

Butlers1982

Your not being biased, anyone can see that they are being unreasonable when she has given them the £10k
I also agree that the mother has a nerve asking for it and if i was her, Id be quite inclined to tell her to move out and threaten the mother with not speaking to her again.

step dad

I think he is telling the mother what to do and say

ovetta2001

Thanks Butler - I thought the same about the steo dad but at the same time i know his and he just doesnt seem the sort. He is...sorry, was quite sweet and friendly :S

siren13577

This is really sad, it's such a shame when money comes into the equation and affects peoples' judgements. If I was your friend I would stand my ground, I know that it's going to affect your friend's relationship with her mum and step dad but by all rights, it's already changed as her mum and step dad have already asked for more money and said that the previous amount was not the debt she had paid back plus 6 grand for spends, which is really generous. It's so unfair, how likely is it that your friend can find somewhere else to live? I can't imagine it would be good for her to stay in all that pressure and be happy? This would affect your friend a lot and have a knock on effect in her everyday life. I don't think there's a legal side to this, I'm assuming it wouldn't get as far as the small claims court but I think your friend should have proof that she passed on the money to her mum, withdrawal slips or bank transfers? I don't know why but I have the impression that your friend's mum could be under pressure from somewhere, it seems like a really un-mumlike thing to do.
I'm sure someone with more experience than me could advise you on the legal side of things but I really feel for your friend and hope this can get sorted. Could your friend get her mum on her own and reason with her? I don't know why but my radar is going off with this one.

Butlers1982

sorry, was quite sweet and friendly

I agree with Siren see if she can speak to her Mum on her own and explain what the money was for and that she is saving up for her own house

I mean im only pressuming but £50k compensation must have meant that it was a very serious car accident in the first place so im sure your friend has been through enough

ovetta2001

Yes it was but she is a lot better now and is hoping to go back to work soon. She pays her way for everything in the house. As for the debt there was no proffher mum gave her it as it was all cash but when she gave it to her mum she did it though a bank transfer so she didnt get in trouble. She will move out we think. She has always been able to but her family has been so close that it has never even been a thought. I feel so sorry for her

Butlers1982

I feel so sorry for her

Im with you on that

sharon59

it is sad but money does seem to cause awful problems in families-l have had to write off a lot to my sister rather than cause bad feeling and risk seeing my nephews/neices.It is easy to wonder if step dad is at root of it but the fact is mum has asked as well putting her in a horrid position and perhaps moving out will do her good in the long run-starting a new home,back to work may help put accident etc in past.all you can do is what you are already doing-be a good friend,support and listen-she is a lucky girl and am sure you and her other concerned friends will ally round and help her.

ovetta2001

Thank you guys, it's now down to her though so I will have to wait and see.

ericajones80

I'd like to think that if two adults sit down, some reason has to be reached. I do feel bad for the girl if her mom is a money grubber.