Don't be so hard on yourself...

ltm07

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

The trouble with having a rest from full on debt repayment is that apart from the fact that you will incur yet more interest on the debt, is that you never know what's just around the next corner.

As a previous poster has said, why live like a hermit for 5 years to pay off debt when you can let the debt go the full course and enjoy your life. The trouble is that if anything untoward happens (like a job loss, more children, or illness) that affects your income, you'll have no way to service the debt.

That's true D.D. but if anything untoward happened in our current situation we would also have no way of servicing our debts. The only reason we have £119 a month left now is because i am 99% guaranteed around £20 when i am at work. If i had to take any time off work for any reason i wouldn't receive this £20. We have cut down in virtually every way possible & are still not much better off than when we started this last July(that's with two holidays i know but they were both paid for before our LBM. One of our loans finishes in July which leaves us £97.62 a month better off,but this would have to go towards snowballing our debts anyway,so we will still have to live on £119 or even less as everything is bound to go up in the budget. We really wanted to see the DFW journey through but have found it nearly impossible. By adding onto our mortgage we will have over £550 left over every month once we've paid everything. We will still do overtime but it will be by choice & not because we have to. We have been in debt since we met 9 years ago & we have both been stupid with our money in the past. The last year financially wise has probably been the worst of our relationship but now we make sure we know exactly what we spend & that we don't spend more than we earn. We will continue to do this & unless something really disastrous happens we will never have to get a loan,overdraft or credt card again. Good look to all of you on your DF journeys & we've given it our best shot & we know that if we ever have to borrow again then it's our own fault.

Superheavy

I think that if there is enough flexibility in someone's budget to be able to live a little whilst paying off their debts, and it doesn't lead to increasing those debts, then that's not too bad, but when it leads to increasing the debt, that's the slippery slope in my view. Granted, I lived on that slippery slope for years, and now I have to learn to move to the firm footing of becoming debt free.

ltm07

I agree Superheavy. Like a few people have said on here it is what suits individual cicumstances. We know that we are increasing our debts by doing this but at the moment we are literally working & sleeping & generally not enjoying life. There is no way we can go on like this for the next five years as it's making us unhappy. We have been using this website for a couple of years & the forum for about 7 or 8 months & believe me we have learnt a hell of alot from Martin & you good people. We have learned to value our money alot more,we have remortgaged for a better deal,no longer buy top brands at the supermarkets,switched Utility companies twice for better deals & generally cut down as much as we can. The ONLY way we can live a little is by relying on overtime & we will now be in a position where we will no longer have to do that. We have learnt from our mistakes in the past & never want to rely on credit cards,loans & overdrafts again. We will continue to do overtime but also won't feel that we have to do it just to live. If we did have £400-£500 left every month instead of £119 without overtime we would continue to go down the DFW route but if we carried on going down the DFW route with so little money left over we would sooner or later have to borrow more &generally not be enjoying our lives.

southernscouser

The beauty (if you can call it that) of this business is there is no right or wrong way.

I don't budget, I don't use cash only, I don't give myself a set allowance each month and I don't forward think about things like car insurance etc. But I'd be lost without a spending diary.

For some it's the complete opposite. For some it's a mixture. For some it's none of those.

All that matters is we all get to where we want to be.

Mozette

What SS said

ltm07

Well we received the paperwork for the mortgage advance & i am seriously having second thoughts about going ahead with it(OH in bed as been on nights so not had chance to speak to her about it,but she was against the idea in the first place but i talked her around)! It works out that we'd be paying £15k more in interest by doing it this way than the £11k that i thought we'd be paying. Have been on a big downer for the last few days with discovering that we owed more than we thought we did & it really knocked the stuffing out of me. The £119 a month that we currently have left after everything is paid is the worst case scenario. Whilst we are still doing overtime life is a little easier financially wise & i've thought up an idea that should make life even easier hopefully. We generally have £25 each to spend a week if i work 6 days a week & a little left over. OH smokes so her £25 goes on that. Hate her smoking but to be fair to her she's cut down from 20 a day to 10. I usually save most of my £25 towards things for myself(mostly clothes). I reckon that i could quite easily throw £10-£15 a week towards our debts,which would reduce our debt by £500-£750 a year. I've plenty of clothes to last me a while & if i do want to treat myself now & again then i will. You may think that this will make me resent OH as she will not be able to contribute much,if anything towards paying off extra debts most weeks. I will not resent her at all though as she does 90% of the housework,cuts her own & DD's hair & does her best to find bargains. Readjusted our sig to the amount we actually owed at our LBM. Whilst we are still doing overtime we can still afford the odd treat but if we go out for a bite to eat now for a treat,we go to our local which is alot cheaper & just as nice as the Big Chain Pubs. As for living like hermits we have to be more constuctive with our time spent at home instead of watching T.V. every waking minute we are in the house. We will be sticking around with you guys for a while yet & sorry about the negative posts yesterday. I have really been feeling sorry for myself the last few days & have snapped out of it today & there are alot of people alot worse off than ourselves. Our aim has always been to Debt Free by my 40th birthday in 5 years & we are still on course by 2 months. We could take the easy option & be £435 a month better off now but in less than 5 years we will be £700 better off. Good luck all & thanks for reading.

ms_london

southernscouser wrote: »

The beauty (if you can call it that) of this business is there is no right or wrong way.

I don't budget, I don't use cash only, I don't give myself a set allowance each month and I don't forward think about things like car insurance etc. But I'd be lost without a spending diary.

For some it's the complete opposite. For some it's a mixture. For some it's none of those.

All that matters is we all get to where we want to be.

Where would you be without little luxuries like car mats eh SS?

P.S You owe ME an email now - will get jamesy on your back! (ooer!)

ms_london

Hi Lazy&indebt!

You have done really well in reducing your debt definately - and its individual choice, if you want to pay your last $5K off slower, fair play.

My only concern is that, and as others have mentioned, if you lose your job, become ill, unable to work etc etc - what would you do? Do you have savings as well as the $5K debt?

Sure, there are some hardcore DFW members - I am putting my hand up to that, I was one of them - but there are also some people who visit this board, who arent quite so hardcore and also deal with their debt at a slower, more manageable pace.

For the price of 2 and a bit years struggling with repaying my debt I now have the rest of my life to enjoy my own money. I know that if I was to lose my job tomorrow, I would have enough money to survive on for a few months until I found another job. This feeling is priceless personally and I love knowing that I am not reliant on my job, and not tied to debts that rule my life anymore.

I do agree that you need to strike a balance, especially if you are in it for the long haul - however, some people want to be debt free but not alter their spending habits, the same spending habits that got them into debt in the first place. And I dont mean you when I say this.

I have been debt free for 2 years and am travelling but this cult has definately got me under the spell if I am coming back from the other side of the world to check in!

splishsplash

Morning lazy&indebt,
I think you've done a great job to reduce your debt so well. I'm sorry you feel you've been miserable the whole time though!
I remember thinking when I was younger how unfair it seemed that the young didn't earn enough to fund a fun lifestyle, and the middle-aged/old had the money but were too far gone to enjoy it!
Now that I am middle-aged, I still think that holds true to an extent! I no longer feel deprived by not being able to treat myself, in fact, I think most treats are a waste of money and find I'm not missing anything by not buying them!
My whole attitude to money and 'things' has changed. I'm not sure if it's because I'm just older and :rotfl: wiser, or if I now realise the things that are more important to me, and my priorities have changed. I just know that I can afford lots of day-to-day treats and splurges, or I can afford to buy a new car, and get a new kitchen, but not both, so for me personally, it's a no-brainer. If I didn't have a definite goal to aim for, though, I think I'd be disastrous!
Being frugal on a daily basis doesn't have to cost you quality of life - and it will pay benefits in the long run. I think it's about making DFW principles your philosophy rather than your obsession.
Best of luck - I hope you see the silver lining rather than the cloud soon!

ixwood

There's an assumption here that not paying the debt makes you better off or gives a better lifestyle. Really it makes you poorer, with less money to spend on yourself.

Not having any debt it the way to treat yourself. It's like a 6 pointer. Save and you get paid compound interest which increase your spending power. Borrow and you get charged compound interest and interest robs your spending power.