Light at the end of the tunnel......?

Got2change

I guess it's rather optimistic to say to myself that "Great, I've got a date to go to Court, therefore things are looking up". Truth is, I don't really know how much will change - and, despite what i read on here, it feels like so much of an ordeal to go through. And yet, I read of people on this Forum who have bigger issues to deal with - not just size of debts but illnesses and relationships worries - who manage to go through the process and don't crumble in the way that I am doing. And then I feel ashamed.

The bailiffs came (again) yesterday. This time I answered the door (despite my lovely CAB advisor telling me not to and they wouldn't do anything; last time, I ended up with my car being threatened with seizure so I paid an debt of £128.00 that had grown from £43) to find a burly chap standing there. Our first probelm was that he kept saying "Pardon" but didn't tell me that he had two hearing aids... Nearly got off to a very bad start. He had warrants for 2 things - Water (and I know for a fact it's only part of what I owe, I received last Saturday another CCJ for another amount owed them which cannot possibly have been included yet) and a Solicitor who I enlisted to help me sue the Solicitor who totally messed up the Ancillary matters in my (5-years ago) divorce. That was £124.00 and has grown to £280.00.

After telling him I had that morning (thanks to having rung the Court) got a date to "go bankrupt" and saying that I could pay the amount of the Warrant for the Water (which was not for the full amount if you understand), he said that he wouldn't press me for the Solicitor's demand until after I have gone to Court so I let him come in while I wrote a cheque for the Water. He told me then that if I'd have had the wrong attitude, he would have seized my car but instead would seize my laptop. At which point I started to hyperventilate. I am such a mess.

Every day, I tell myself that I have to sort things out. The problem is that even going bankrupt won't solve everything. The total debts are roughly £9000 - comprising defaulted bank loans, a very old student grant overpayment, the aforementioned Solicitor and now (and since I went into low level panic mode in November 2006) my Gas and Electricity and (higher level panic mode in April 2007) Council Tax and Housing Benefit overpayment.
I was bullied out of my job two weeks before Christmas and now my income is Contribution based JSA and Housing Benefit. Even after going bankrupt, I cannot afford to live. I feel like such a loser.

InAMess_3

Hi Got2Change

Please don't feel like a loser, i know exactly whree your'e coming from. Iv'e just gone BR with debts of 70K plus so yours are small fry !;)

Everyone on here has been so supportive to me, there were times when i just wanted to curl up and die (and occasionally still do!) but there IS light at the end of the tunnel - just think how lovely it will feel that you can answer the door/phone/open the mail without fear of what you may find...it'll be such a relief.

Others are far better qualified to give you advice, but jsut wanted to say, i'm not out of the woods yet (got OR interview today in 2 hours so paincking!) but things DO get better.

Keep your chin up.

Got2change

Thank you so much - and good luck with the OR.

InAMess_3

:eek: thanks - will let people know on here how it goes ! Keep smiling GottoChange...

FeelingLow

hi GTC please don't beat yourself up, this can be sorted & once you have gone BR the debts will be gone & you can start a new life without the constant worry of not answering the door/phone etc

keep your chin up I know its easier said than done but there is light hun keep posting on here & you will recive loads of help & support.

did the baliff cease your lappy?

G-G_4

You can do this..!

Things always will look bleak until the debts are cleared.. once they are gone you can get a new job hopefully and start to climb the ladder of life once more..

You are not a loser.. you are human and have made some mistakes, go easy on yourself.. x

baby_balloon

just wanted to say im sending hugggeeee hugs, sound like you need them right now hunny.... As G-G said, you *can* do this, becoming BR isn't being a loser, its taking back control of your life.

what happened with your laptop? just think how great it will be when you donthave to worry about baillifs and constant phone calls! things will feel so much better. Just take things one step at a time and post back here whenever you need to, we have all stood (or are standing!) in your shoes and know what you are going through.

lots of love x

Got2change

Hi FL

Thank you for your kind words; I know that BR is the right and only solution. My main worry is that, even going through the process, I still won't be able to manage financially. The debts will be "gone" sure - but I still won't have enough money to pay my way. I have so little confidence and had such a bad couple of years work-wise that I struggle to even submit an application these days... (I just make things up for when I go to sign on) I am not young (late 40's) and seem to be toxic where men are concerned and am therefore alone (but for cat) so the outlook doesn't feel so bright - despite the title of this thread.

:rotfl: (with irony)
Just nearly jumped out of my skin at a loud banging on the front door. I never use it and don't even know where the key is. Anyway I thought it was another bailiff visit so wouldn't have answered and anyay again am not fit to be seen.However, it was the postman - who d**n well knows I don't use that door and now I've missed something that needed to be signed for. Ho hum. Probably another bill/final demand/threatening letter. Yippeee.

InAMess_3

I totally know where your'e coming from, i was out of work for three years, confidence really low and i also struggled to submit applications. I got some luck, got in touch with some old work coleagues and got a temp job which has now been made permanent. Jsut try to get something to get you back in the marketplace, it will help build your confidence again - and it's so much easier getting another job when your'e in one already, no matter what it is.

Try offering to work somewhere you lreally want to for free for a week - either you nor they have anything to lose, and it could be a great way to show your worth.

Go for it - and good luck.

x

Got2change

Oh thank you to all of you for your encouragement and understanding.

Forgot to say - he didn't take the laptop or even do any paperwork threatening to - but he had said that he would so I will never, even if they are nice, let one in again. He was as nice as pie really but the whole experience kind of gets me down.

I used to be able to charm people (OK men usually) into my way of thinking but have definitely lost the knack nowadays.... and the inclination too I think. I don't WANT to be charming people and trying to wriggle out of situations; in the end, it comes back and bites you on the somewhere, that's for sure.

tigerfeet2006

G2C ((((((hugs)))))))

I am afraid the bailiff has conned you out of money. You should NEVER have paid that or invited him in. It would have been included in your BR. I am so :mad: at him on your behalf. DO NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET HIM IN AGAIN BEFORE YOU GO BR.

Check www.entitledto.co.uk to see if you are recieving everything you should be.