I'm almost debt-free ... and feeling guilty

kizzykizzywizzy

Don't feel guilty, sounds like you've had a hard time lately, about time you got a break. I'm sure the relative left you the money, hoping that it would help you & it has!
Emotions trigger a lot of peoples spending, including mine!
Now I try & keep myself busy being a Miser! & finding cheap ways of doing things, making meal plans & working out budgets, seeing how much more I can pay off if I save an extra few pence here & there & this, however boring it might sound this helps me even when I'm feeling down.
You've done it before, you can do it again :T
I think you can now see how easy it is to get yourself in debt, a lesson learned:o

G-G_4

Don't feel guilty! But, do yourself a favour and cancel your credit cards etc and promise yourself not to do it again.

I can totally sympathise.

I built up 50k of debt, then I had an insurance payout for 50k, decided to pay of 25k and actively overpay the other 25k over the next few years.. didn't quite work though.. I also had the year of hell last year and all of a sudden I found I was 50k in debt again.. No idea where it all went!

Now i'm bankrupt and have really learnt my lesson now!

Good Luck x

neverdespairgirl

Hi - really, really don't feel guilty.

But I'd suggest strongly you take your new start as a beginning, and still live in a DFW way - get the cheaper flat, avoid spending unnecessarily, etc. That way, you can build up some savings, and have a cushion against future difficulties.

Careful_with_that_Axe

Slug2000, I understand how you feel.
Money problems always have high emotions attached to them
My Mum would help me out with a bit of money when I helped look after her, but flatly refused to help me pay off my debts, which I actually really respected. However, if I had an immediate problem, i.e. sudden bill for boiler breakdown that I couldn't pay, she was always the first to offer help with no strings attached, although she would grump a bit about it understandably!
When she passed away in 2006 she left me quite a substantial sum of money; not enough to but a house, but certainly enough to settle all my bills and enable me to be debt free. I started off feeling really guilty that I had "benefited" from her death, but now I'm starting to hope that she would be delighted that she has enabled me to live a stress and worry free life. In my own way of trying to rectify the balance between my own situation and those who are struggling, I do all I can to help others with information, advice (practical where it's possible), emotional support etc.
Be happy that you are able to pay off your debts and don't forget to still try to negotiate with creditors for lower settlements as long as they will show as fully and finally settled on your credit record!
All the best to you

slug2000

Hi again. Just wanted to say thanks to you all for your kind words. Careful with that Axe - good idea to try and negotiate lower settlements. I'll make sure I do that.
I still don't feel like I deserve it - particularly when I read stories such as digital girls, but if it means a fresh start for me then I'm going to grab it with as many hands as I can manage! And, of course, I'll stick around here and offer help/support if I can ... once again, if it wasn't for the guys on this board I'd never have known how to begin facing up to my debts or what I could do to sort them out.
All my credit cards are already cut up and I can't wait to close the accounts once and for all! I went to pick up the cheque today and it feels so surreal to have that much money all at once.
Anyway, I want to wish everyone all the best with their DFW journeys ... and I hope I can be of some help to some of you along the way.
xx

hopeless_case_2

gosh you are good would want to buy something with that amount and then pay some off the debts you are soo good

ms_london

Hello!

OOoh, I want to know your old username (so nosy!).

Sorry to hear you went through a bad time, I can sympathise will all you went through (been there, done that!).

Dont feel guilty about the inheritance - just see it as a blessing and try not to get into debt again! If your issues and reasons for spending havent been addressed there is the risk of it happening again. Not trying to dampen your spirits but I hope you can see where I am coming from.

What will you be saving for? Enjoy!

xx

slug2000

Well ms_london I remember you ... but I wasn't a regular poster really, just a regular snooper so you probably wouldn't remember me anyway! And I'm not going to give my old username as it gives the game away a bit and I may get recognised and I don't want everyone knowing my situation!

Anyways, yes you're right about slipping into bad habits. I hope that I've learnt my lesson now - certainly not intending on ever having a credit card again, so I can't be tempted! I'm going to have a mini-splurge with some of my money (I get a bonus from work next month too) - hair cut, new glasses, etc. then the rest is going into savings ... not sure what for yet though! I'm hoping to save a decent deposit for a house but I don't want to mortgaged up to my eyeballs and risk being in a worse situation than I am now ... so we'll see. I'm just going to enjoy my account being in credit AND have some savings too - I still can't believe it! Picked up the cheque last night and going to pay it in in 20 minutes.
Enjoy Auckland ms_London - I was there a few years ago and loved it. All of NZ in fact. Where else have you been? My fave bits were on the South Island - walking the glaciers, whale watching, penguins ... ace!

kyh

Congratulations on getting to this position both mentally and financially - I am sorry for your family loss but as others have said sometimes Karma has a way of making things as they should be! Hope you stay debt free!! Good Luck for the future!