Moan and a wine

mummytofour

Hi guys,
Sorry to be such an wigy cow bag but I feel really down today.
I am on a DMP and most days things are ok but today I just feel so peed off about lack of money, I really do. I have so many things to pay out for and feel that I am treading water all the time. We dont really have a very large income and travel expenses eat a lot of our money up. I am on cheapest for everything but I just wanna have some cash to spend. My roof needs looking at and lots needs doing round my house and I just dont have the money. I was offered a job at the hospital doing bank work but have decided as much as I really would love it I just dont have the time. I am at college 2 days per week and hope to get into uni in sep so I get a better life for my kids.
Dh is ok but I feel he could do so much more to help. His travel costs £400 PCM which comes out of our after tax money if he earnt £400 less we would get more tax credits so be better off, not ideal I know, but I feel so peed off that such a lot of our income goes on his train travel. I just want for my kids so much, one of my boys has special needs and if it was not for the carers allowance and so on I would have go under totally months ago. I just feel so un-positive right now and sad Nothing I can do really but plod on, I just wish I could do something to get more money. I have done bingo and so with some luck, not sure where to go from here really.

immoral_angeluk

Is there any chance of him cutting down his travel costs? Railcard? Maybe getting a job nearer to home?

:grouphug:

mummytofour

He has a yearly rail card which comes out of his wages after tax but before we get his pay. He has tried many times to get a new job but without any luck and to be honest he does not have that much motivation, he just sees it as I sort it out all the finances which he likes to !!!!! about, like the fact we are with cccs thats my fault he seems to think, he just has no idea and no clue about money and likes to leave it to me, to worry myself over. I have cried so many times over this situation, just nothing ever changes. He is really not a bad person just sometimes the whole family/money situation get me down so much.

natters_2

((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))) - Mind if I join you - sometimes it feels like a never ending battle doesn't it - and if one of you is more pro active in reducing the debts it makes you feel worse. you are constantly struggling and there never seems to be anything to show for it - not even enough for a small treat like a bar of chocolate or cheap bottle of wine

My son has just run up a huge phone bill £37 in calls - he decided he didn't need to sign on as he was doing a princes trust course, so the end result is no money - so no keep and extra money to find to pay the phone bill. I dragged him into the kitchen, showed him the empty fridge and cupboards, told him we don't get any money until next Friday, so maybe he could suggest what we eat until then.

So don't feel bad about having a moan - it sounds to me like you deserve to!

stressed.mum

Hi mummytofour

I can't offer much help but will offer a (((hug))) and an ear

Your post nearly made me cry because I thought that is my life too - four kids, no money, one special needs the lot

All I can say is it does get better - can your OH claim any of his travel costs?
Is it car or train?

Have you contacted the carers centre to see if there is anything they can do for you - when I was at my lowest they arranged for some money for me to pay someone for a few hours just to give me a break

Are you getting all the tax credits you are entitled to?

sasp

Hi mummy to four,
I was having the same feelings the other day, to the point that I got very upset. I too organise all the bills, rent etc which all come out of money that goes into my account (wages etc). My husband works full time and I work part time (although am off sick at the mo).
I told my husband how I was feeling, and the fact that I am getting increasingly depressed and resentful that I seem to have ALL the responsibility. After a long chat, he admitted he didn't know how to help, and assumed I was managing. I explained that I wasn't and perhaps that HE should take over organising the finances for six months, and then he could be in my shoes, he would have to do it if I wasn't there.

Anyway, sorry for the long post but perhaps you should ask you hubby to take over the responsibilities or share them equally to take the pressure off you for a little while.

My hubby said because I never talk to him about it and just get on with sorting things, he thought I was ok. He has now said he will ask more about finances etc to make sure I am coping.

Sometimes you need to speak out, it is not a weakness to say you need help. it is a strength.

Big hugs :A

sasp xx

mummytofour

Hi thanks everybody and especially stressed mum. I am lucky with regards that I do get a break these days from the kids as I attend college 2 days a week and thankfully I get childcare funding for this ( I can not tell the world enough how grateful I am for this).
We are getting all the money we are entitled to just never seems to go anywhere does it? I am finding as the kids get older they need more stuff which is more of a strain on the finances and i get sick of saying no all the time.
I am saving all my tesco points for days out and buy as much from car boots as possible, its does make me feel like a scab tho. I have not had a hair cutiin 15 months and my hair looks soo bad. None of my clothes fit as I have just lost one stone! But now I feel even more like a bag lady as everything is 2 sizes too big! I know I should be feeling fab, I am or will be once i have some nice new (to me clothes), I wish the sun would come out I think that is part or the reason I am feeling rubbish. Hey ho I have some stuffed listed on flea bay now so I hope some of it will go, I WILL have a car boot next weekend and tomorrow i will be going to the car boot to buy me some new clothes!
Next I have 3 projects/essays to do this week and the kids want to go out.. Awww I will be fine I WILL. Thanks for letting me rant I feel soo much better!

HairyHandofDartmoor

It is tough when you have no money for treats. I get down sometimes about this too.

But I try and get excited about finding a bargain in the supermarket, etc, and also I am pleased that my kids are not spoilt. They never ask to go to the cinema or Mcdonalds or bowling in the holidays, but are really pleased if I just take them rollerblading in the park or to their grandparents for tea! So many kids demand things and whinge if money isn't spent on them and part of me is pleased that they can be happy with simple pleasures in life.

Things will probably improve for you in the future; OH may get a better paid job one day, your car boots will bring in cash, and you are working for a better future by studying, so try and stay cheerfull. You are doing all the right things, so see this as a short term glitch. And well done on losing weight!

tw1nklestar

Hey you are having a bad day and everyone is allowed one or two of those....on the upside you are not feeling guilty of overspending :j . Congrats on loosing a stone - im sure you will feel more positive if you had some clothes to fit - i know what you mean about boot sales but think of it of being good to the environment and reusing :j . Have you signed up to your local freecycle because i know i have put lots of good quality clothes on there that either didnt fit or hadnt been worn for a long time, as well as collecting lots of stuff that has been a godsend to me.

keep up the good work and make sure you are getting some you time a hot soak in the bath and 15mins peace works well for me sometimes )

tw1nklestar

ps about hair cuts

the local college do some stunning offer - colour and cut all supervised for under a tenner sometimes - makes you feel ontop of the world and pampered