Which way to turn (aka:feeling a bit low and need advice....)

Benthosboy

Hello all.

I could sure use some advice or even just a virtual shoulder to lean on

The full implications of the wife leaving me are sinking in and in truth, I feel more frightened than I've ever felt. Add to that the financial mess of £16K cc debts she's created and, well, you can probably imagine the state I'm in right now.

For the next few weeks, we're staying in the bungalow that we get with our job at the caravan park, as a favour to our employers who have a holiday booked in March. As they've been :A to me by letting me stay on working here, it's a sacrifice I can live with, surreal though it is .
Once the soon-to-be ex-wife has left, I'll be living in the motorhome on the park. As soon as that's sorted, my finances will change a bit, (ironically, I'll probably be a bit better off!), and I'll post my SOA. I've had a rough work out of my projected finances and I think I should be able to afford to pay off the loan on the 'van and pay the cc's off while living a seriously frugal life, although there won't be much, if anything left.

What I'm wondering about is how to raise extra money to be debt free asap. Is it worth selling as much "stuff" as possible or will becoming a recluse cause more problems than it solves? I've been scuba diving for quite a few years and I have all my own kit which will hopefully realise a good sum. Similarly, I have lots of other "bits and bobs" which I can't keep in the 'van with me but which might raise urgently needed funds.

Any advice is welcome. At this point in my life, I honestly do not know what to do or which way to turn. Apologies for not being "with it" but I feel like I've got very big weights on each shoulder and no matter what I do, I can't shake them off.

Martyn.

poppett

Hi Martyn,

Just thought I'd pop on and say keep your chin up. I don't really have any great advice for you but if like you say you have stuff that you can't keep in the van and you think you could get some money for it, then selling it seems a practical thing to do. Can you sell it on Ebay?

Anyway, like I said...good luck and keep smiling.

skintbutsmiling01

Have a shoulder.
First I would contact all the cc companies and explain the situation.
Are they joint accounts or in your name? You may be able to negotiate reduced payments to give yourself some breathing space. Could you take on a pt job? A couple of hours in a bar/shop or something?
This may go against other advice but I would think carefully about selling your scuba stuff, you're gonna have a tough few mths and if this will make you feel better it may be worth its weight in gold.

taketwo

I agree with Skintbutsmiling, now you've laid out for your diving kit, you probably won't realise much for it second hand, so assuming you are a member of a club make the most of it. You've spent that money so use it to keep some sort of social life, even if you go away for w/ends it needn't cost much - camping is relatively cheap, and car share etc.

tyllwyd

I agree with the others - if you want to keep on with the diving, then don't rush to sell your stuff because you might never be able to save enough to get it back again. But maybe have a good look through and see if you can sell any bits and bobs that you don't actually use?

lauren565

Hi Martyn, Yes i think it would be a good idea to sell whatever you can really but avoid ebay because its a rip off. you can generally stick up a little notice in the supermarket for free or in the post office, or try your local newspaper. I think when you are in this situation you really have to weigh up your priorities of what you really need. And saying that 16k is not that much debt, considering. Ive seen others on here with alot more, so do not fear. At least you are sorting it out now. That is the first step. And I am sorry that you have split up with your wife. The people on here are very supportive and I do know what it feels like to be in debt. My husband and I used to have a 7k loan with hsbc (which was run up for our wedding, then we kept adding overdrafts to it.) We got out of it by moving out of London and up to Lincolnshire/Nottinghamshire. We was so bad at one time, we was going to remortgage and then was advised by this company we were able to miss our mortgage payment because the remortgage would get sorted asap. However it didnt and I was paying £750 a month mortgage (about 250 extra each month) trying to pay it off. We paid it off eventually and i am surprised our marriage survived because we was under such pressure. We had two children then (now have four!) and we didnt even have any money left over for food shopping or nappies or anything. It was awful. But we eventually came through it and when we moved up to the midlands and paid off our debts, we vowed never ever to take out a loan again. We learnt the hard way. But as long as you have a roof over your head and are dealing with your debt and you have your health, that is all that matters. Dont despair! I wish you all the best of luck in the world. Kind regards, Lauren & Duke