One step forward, two back ... (a moan)

gracie83

Sorry I am feeling very miserable and fed up at the moment. I feel so fed up of having my life on hold for so many years. We have no money at all. Every penny of our disposable income goes on to the credit cards. I dread the day before payday when my account is transfered to the credit card only to be refilled with money I cannot use. I hate going through the bank statements with OH trying to figure out what else we can get rid of. I am sick of being strict with myself and of feeling guilty when I buy something even if it is hugely necessary like a pair of shoes when the sole fell of my old pair. (is it possible to develop a phobia of spending money? I feel so bad and guilty when I buy something I feel physically sick and I really have to force myself to do it) I hate how people at work comment on the fact that i 'always seem to be wearing the same thing' which is the truth as I only own 1 pair of jeans and three winter tops and three summer tops.

There seems to be no end in sight every repayment we make seems to make no difference. We only owe £4000 and we have disposable £300-400 a month so it should be going down but it is not. The hardest part is that the debt was accrued not through being greedy and buying loads of nice things but it was three years ago when we were just trying to survive, pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads as two graduates living on the minimum wage. Our working lives have changed so much since then but we still have no cash! I know that consolidation is the wrong thing to do but sometimes I would just love to get a loan and just let it dribble out of my account over a few years and actually live my life I am only 24 and as OH said we are living like OAP's.

I am wondering (provided I can keep away from the apply for loan button) should I be moving the desposible money to a saving account rather than chucking it on to the credit card. I am thinking it may be more of a moral booster to see the amount rising then paying off the entire card when we have enough rather than watching a credit card statement which never seem to go down. (I don't know why the cards have been destroyed)

Sorry for moan just very miserable this was all triggered by my mobile breaking but I cannot put any cash towards a new one (even though I have £100 in the bank it must go on the cards in three weeks time) Off to cuddle cat she makes me feel better.

Mozette

aww, Gracie, sorry to hear how low you are feeling. Always come and have a moan here, no one minds, we all do it.
Have you put your SOA up? Some of the clever folk might be able to help you get your debt down quicker http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280
And look on the bright side; you're only 24, some of us don't see the light until... well, much later in life, shall I say.
Hope you're feeling more positive soon. Take care.

bathgatebuyer

There's no problem that can't be solved!

I'm 31 and have been living like an OAP for the past 10 years, that is, since I left home after graduating from Uni. It is tough. You start your working lives in debt - deposit up front for a flat, rent up front, 2 new suits for work and 5 tops. Not much change out of about £900 I had within 2 weeks of graduating. Thereafter it's chasing your tail the whole time trying to stop it all from falling apart. I really can sympathise - but don't do what I did and take out a loan to pay for it as it'll take longer and be even more demoralising at the longer time it takes to pay it off. There's no getting round it, but it's not easy to meet debt head on. However, you can allow in your budget a small amount for socialising and / or new clothes which don't compromise your ability to repay what you owe and get out of the situation you're in.

If you list your income and outgoings on here, people can help by making suggestions over what you're spending and whether there are ways you can cut back.

On the clothing front, have you tried Ebay or second hand? I have not bought any new clothes in about 2 or 3 years which may sound depressing but it isn't. I get off on getting a Thomas Pink blouse for work for £3 when I used to pay £75 each for them (and that was in the sale!). Colleagues are such pests at times. I've been honest with mine and said to them that I have debts I'm trying to clear this year, and had to listen to one tell me how he knew what it was like to be poor after his father sold off the family business, "....but he still managed to send us 4 to private schools for 6 years" said one of them as he tried to define hardship!!! (Definition of hardship in his book? A spare quarter of a million to pay for school fees. In my book? Having £3 to last me until payday which is 8 days away!)

Don't let it get you down, there's a solution out there, we just need to help you find it.

gilligansyle

Hi, yes sometimes you feel like its an uphill struggle, but it will be worth it in the end. For me, I'm at the opposite end of the scale. At my age, with no children at home any more, things should be easier, but life is never that simple.

As for clothes, Ebay can be good, or to be honest, I have 2 suits for work. One is from George at Asda, £7 jacket £5 trousers, and the other is from Next, via Oxfam £4.99. Depending on the area you live in, there can be some good stuff in charity shops.

Can only echo what others have said, there may be other ways to cut spending.

As for mobile, if you don't want the latest, if you are on contract, you can generally upgrade for free, or go to Cashconverters or similar. There is also a website which buys old mobile phones and you may be able to trade yours in. I think the website is cex, there is information about it elsewhere on this site.

tesuhoha

Cant help but think that if debt of £4000 is not going down quickly by paying £400 per month then you must have very high interest rates on your credit cards. Try transferring them to lower rates.

Bismarck

Hi,

Hate to say it but there are people on here who would love the simplicity of a £4K debt.....I'm not sure it 's the clearing it that's annoying you...it's more the inability to spend what you're not getting in....we unfortunately live in a such a consuming lifestyle that we (and our social circle) have become conditioned to spending out of habit...simply because we can borrow the money and have been marketed to so successfully that we think we have to spend it.

The earlier generations were right....they had things as presents that we would routinely buy for ourselves because we can.....hence the Christmas presents aren't great because we bought the things we wanted but didn't need out of our own money.

sorry if I'm ranting at myself here!. ...please get the £4K onto a cheap rate and do whatever it takes to get rid of it....Please also remember this feeling and use it to spur you on to clearing your mortgage quicker when the time comes....