Just a bit of advice really.

elona

If things are that bad betweeen you then you have got to do something .

Have you a friend or relative who could mediate.

Little_Miss_Winner

"She needs to go but wont leave and makes my life so difficult when I try to get her to go !!!!
She even made me cry on my 28th birthday and want to top myself. Now do you feel sad for me Seriously she did !"



In what way does she make your life difficult when you try to get her to leave? :eek:
And as for her making you cry on your birthday (or at any other time), she really cant feel that much for you? (sorry if that sounds harsh!)

I know I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but from what you have said;-

If you really want her to go. Then tell her! It's your house, so its up to you to decide who lives there! Think you have to make you mind up and stick to a decision either way. If you decide she has to go, then tell her, and don't hesitate.
It really is that simple. Ring a locksmith and change the locks if all else fails........I would!

Turning_into_scrooge

13000 wrote:

Bossyboots, you are very correct in what you say. What I didnt mention is that I also over the period of a couple of years have lent her £2k which I dont ever expect to see because a) I gave her cash b) she gets all arsey when I mention it.

I have figured out if she went I would have at LEAST £120 per month. I would even get rid of the car, for where I work, I can easily get the bus or even cycle. She is a long story but surfice to say before all this I was EXTREMELY careful with money and never had a problem, but I kinda caught her bad ways eventually. She needs to go but wont leave and makes my life so difficult when I try to get her to go !!!!

She even made me cry on my 28th birthday and want to top myself. Now do you feel sad for me Seriously she did !

Pack her bags and leave them at the door for when she gets in. change the locks too. Simple, I've done it in a far bigger style than that. Relationships are the mainstay of life. If it starts to slide and you don't keep the control it starts to affect your health - finances-health -finances -= viscious circle. It's obviously making you very unhappy, please deal with it before it really becomes a huge problem and gets out of control. No one deserves to be treated without respect or as a meal ticket. Hugs It was my 30th birthday that made me sanp and do it, like you i was in tears and virtually suicidal.

StueyB_2

I will do it peeps. I need to do it. For me I seriously think though that if she goes, I will be significantly better off. This is still debt free wannabee after all.

The way I figure, the shopping will go down to about £80 a month, getting rid of the car and gettin a bus pass will literally save £100 a month including the bus pass. Hell the guy I work with lives en route to work so he passes me every day so to speak. Maybe give him £5 a week petrol.

Also save £30 council tax. Also no popping out to expensive shops wasting petrol and money.

So that could potentially be £250 per month saved !!!!!! Also I can visit friends that live 2 streets away but she upset them so much, I never get to see em .Thanks peeps, this is really what I think I need. I've seen the light.

JAMIEDODGER

good luck stuey, fingers crossed for you!

angela110660

StueyB wrote:

I will do it peeps. I need to do it. For me

So that could potentially be £250 per month saved !!!!!! Also I can visit friends that live 2 streets away but she upset them so much, I never get to see em .Thanks peeps, this is really what I think I need. I've seen the light.

After reading all this thread I feel very sad but I do hope that you have seen the light. I cannot see anywhere that you tell us how much your partner has been contributing financially to this situation. If you are just keeping her in the manner which she has become accustomed then she needs to go. In this day and age, nobody should see it as a right to sponge off another - unless there are exceptional circumstances eg health or young kids.
My hubby and I have always shared everything and trust each other. We have hard times but we both know how the other one feels and cut back when necessary. Sounds like your partner just continues in her own merry way. Show her the door. You deserve someone who is honest and open as you are and wants to make a better life without being a slave to debt. Good luck.

Spendalot_2

Surely staying in a relationship should not be based on a financial decision.

If you want her out, tell her firmly, help her pack and change your locks. If she does not get the message, call the police and get a restraining order. Its time to toughen up and make some decisions.