Please help!

princesspoppypop

Hello everyone,

Ive just returned to work after being off for 12 weeks and am on phased return basically working 8-12pm for a week then building up each week on this till returning full-time.

Anyway since returning to work some people have been really "off" with me. So today I emailed one of the people that has been "off" ( totally ignoring me) and she came over and grabbed my chair swivvled it round and right in my face called me a f****** b**** and said she didnt want to talk to me unless it was work related. She did this infront of an office full of people which left me totally humiliated.:mad:

I was so upset and got myself in a total state, my manager sent me home after having a chat, she said she didnt know what was going on at all, just that the girl involved said I had been !!!!!ing about her, which I havent, she was always late and taking days off for stupid reasons and ringing in sick that it was a joke on the team but never meant in a vicious way. I liked this person as I sat next to her for months and talked loads to her about things and we got on really well....

Anyway since Ive returned another girl has been stirring up trouble and caused this awful atmosphere.:mad:

I know what you will all say- get another job - and yes I have been looking and contacted recruitment agencies in my town and am preparing CVs to send in. But... in the meantime I still have to keep going there and I dont think I can take it anymore...

My manager said I can make a formal complaint... but this would make my life hell as this girl is really "popular" and Im scared of her...

I really dont know what to do... I would like to report this person for the utter humiliation but as Ive said it would make my life really bad....

Does anyone have any advice???

PaulK_3

Your manager needs to do her job and manager her staff, atmospheres like this develop easily if management does nothing to clamp down on things that cause resentment like bad behaviour in the office, rediculous sick leave situations, bullying etc.

Zazen999

Hi.
Agreed - she should deal with it/her.

mistyarthur

I'd make a complaint she doesn't sound very nice at all and so what if shes popular, do you want to be friends with people who think that thats acceptable! and stop talking to her unless its work related or she tries to apologuise. If she then says anything about you making the complaint just ignore it and make another, she'll soon get fired.

princesspoppypop

Thanks for the replies... My OH said I wasnt to go into work today... I spent last night with a terrible tension headache and felt so sick.... Im going to docs today, I just cant face going in there after that happened....

The managers in my place dont really manage that well to be honest. My manager is lovely but she said she cant intervene on something like what had happened as it was personal and the bully has said she doesnt want to talk about it so she cant do anything unless I make a complaint to HR...

princesspoppypop

I forgot to mention something else I found out yesterday was that months ago I had a confidential chat with my old boss as I was unhappy about a few things including the person who humilitated me yesterday (the unhappiness was all work related stuff like her coming in late and being off, taking holidays over her allowance etc and I didnt think that was fair but neither did anyone else on my team) Nothing I ever said was a personal attack on "chair swiveller" but I now find out that this old boss has gone and told "chair swiveller everything I said. This was a confidential discussion with a manager Im so cross and upset... My OH, Mum and sis want me to report this boss to HR for gross misconduct... Im so upset I keep thinking "Why me."

Crossy

Bullying is a serious issue at work, and your manager is wrong to say that it is just personal, it is obviously affecting yours and probably other team members work.

I suggest you write a written grievance against the other employee, your manager is duty bound to go through a legal process to discuss your grievance with you and come to a conclusion.

Please look on the ACAS site on grievance procedures (and bullying at work). You will find it very helpful. I believe there is also a help line you could ring.

Hope this helps

Zazen999

Hi

If this was done in the presence of witnesses, ie in public - then she can do something - additional to that if she knows it happened and doesn't - she is failing in her duty of care to you and [if she was managing properly] would be obliged to investigate.

If it was done in private; then that is a different matter and you would have to bring a grievance up to your manager about her.

Your manager obviously doesn't know the difference. She should have started an investigation the minute she sent you home; but it is not too late if she started it now. She should have interviewed everyone present, and found out what the heck is going on.

If she doesn't - she is either incompetent, or in on the whole thing - which again makes her even more incompetent.

Even if she hadn't done this - and there is bad feeling within her team - it is her job [above all others] to sort it out.

If you have taken today as sick; then insist on a back to work interview [if they don't already carry these out in your workplace], when you return.

By the way - by not investigating - she could be seen to be bullying you...

Tell her you want a full copy of the procedures to take to your 'adviser'.

princesspoppypop

Thanks so much... the whole thing happened infront of around 20 people and another 30 or so in earshot!

My manager wasnt present at the time.

My manager said that she had spoken to chair swivvler and she had said she didnt want to discuss it or have a meeting and would only speak to me if it was work related.

We do have a back to work interview... to be honest Im so shaken the very thought of returning makes me want to throw up.

Im seeing my doctor this afternoon, I really worry that I`m on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

churchrat

hi ppp
hope the drs went ok this afternoon.
do you belong to a union or have access to one? even if you don't belong to one at the moment you can join and get advice, although they will probably not give "full"help. as the others have said this is bullying and is going on at many levels.
do you need this job? I am not asking this to give advice that you leave, but so that you can think sod it--and take the complaints procedure all the way to the top. People like the chair woman rely on people being afraid of her, that is how they become "popular". I would not be surprised that you would become the office angel if you took her on. your managers have some problems, but they are not your problems and should not be affecting you. Please don't give up, take all the support offered to you by family and friends, get in touch with the hr dept and find out how to make a formal complaint. Keep details of what is said and oh yes DON'T GIVE UP! you don't need people like this in your life, you are worth more than that.
keep in touch
cr

princesspoppypop

churchrat wrote: »

hi ppp
hope the drs went ok this afternoon.
do you belong to a union or have access to one? even if you don't belong to one at the moment you can join and get advice, although they will probably not give "full"help. as the others have said this is bullying and is going on at many levels.
do you need this job? I am not asking this to give advice that you leave, but so that you can think sod it--and take the complaints procedure all the way to the top. People like the chair woman rely on people being afraid of her, that is how they become "popular". I would not be surprised that you would become the office angel if you took her on. your managers have some problems, but they are not your problems and should not be affecting you. Please don't give up, take all the support offered to you by family and friends, get in touch with the hr dept and find out how to make a formal complaint. Keep details of what is said and oh yes DON'T GIVE UP! you don't need people like this in your life, you are worth more than that.
keep in touch
cr

Thanks churchrat,all you have said is so lovely. Ive been so down, when I returned to work I went in with a positive attitude and willing and then that happened and the wind has truly been taken from my sails!
The doc has signed me off suggesting that I find another job. She was really nice.
The chair swivvler has always been popular and most people are scared to get on the wrong side of her cos she has a vicious tongue. Even management seem scared of her and she has got away with blue murder over the years.
I would like to make a formal complaint as I feel she shouldnt have done what she did, but I also feel I should raise a complaint about my old boss gossiping about the stuff I said to her in confidence.The only thing is she has three kids and her husband is ill and I wouldnt want her to lose her job( despite how much trouble she has caused and breaking the confidentiality)

Ive contacted all the recruitment agencies to get on their databases too..

My OH spoke to my new boss this morning and she has said I can switch teams with immediate affect but I just dont want to be in that place for fear of a breakdown as I said.... my poor head cant take anymore of these tension headaches and my appetite is non existent...

Sorry to ramble on....

Thanks for everyones help and support...:A