Can ANYONE help me? I am losing it here.

Seaxwyn

Hello Ayrshire D - well done for posting. Lots of us on here know that sickening, hopeless feeling - and lots of us also know the huge relief when you get things back under control. There is no problem without a solution, so don't despair, this really will be just a bad memory one day soon.

Phone the CCCS - or equivalent - and they can maybe help you negotiate some breathing space on the loan. Have you got anything you could sell to make a dent in that overdraft? Have you got room for a lodger?

I understand about not wanting to tell your OH about the problems. Once you have taken a few steps to turn things round, maybe it will be easier to tell her.

Good luck and please keep posting, you will get lots of great advice and support on here.

PENNYWISE_3

Firstly a massive welcome to the boards.

You've just taken a massive step in recognising & facing up to your problem so well done for that.

There's an amazing bunch of people on here offering a lot of support so please don't feel alone or overwhelmed by your money matters, there's always someone here to help & loads of people who have been in a similar situation and come out the other side leading happy lives.

Please do not even consider suicide, I know it is easy for me to sit here and say that but really nothing is worth that, imagine the heart ache and guilt your family who love you would go through, money is simply NOT worth that and there are many charities that can help you through this time, eg Samaritans, CCCS, debtline etc. They really are fantastic people who are trained to help.
If you continue to feel depressed please, please seek help from your doctor or other medical professional.

Big hugs - you WILL get through this

Karmacat

Hi Ayrshire

Welcome to mse. We *know* that sick feeling here, we do. You're amongst friends. I've quoted Deliciosa's post here again, cos she makes some really good points, I've put them in bold:

deliciosa wrote: »

Hey,
Just try not to panic. You are here, which means you have taken the big first step and things will be better from now on. (((((big hug)))) It's going to be fine.

First of all, please post a SOA. There Are people here with a lot of experience and they will be around soon to give you some handy tips on what can be done.
What I would suggest straight away, is from this moment, before you even get "bigger" advice, watch what you spend your money on (every penny counts), and do your (honest) SOA. Facing your debt is the hardest thing, once it's done, things can only be better. Make yourself a big cup of tea and sort it out on paper.
Don't think about moving yet, it might not be necessary. Maybe you will be able to cut your expenditure so much that you won't need to - that's why we need your soa!! Maybe there are benefits you are entitled to. Maybe you can negotiate with your creditors. Trust me these guys here know solutions for everything.
Good luck and chin up

I'd also add, in relation to what she says about watching what you spend - write it down, keep a spending diary - if you're going to be able to pull back, there'll be a year or so when it might be quite tough, and sad to say, a bottle of wine and a couple of Starbucks a week can make a huge difference.

Good luck, and keep posting.

Bismarck

Keep on in there! Well done for posting...you're actually at the start of the way out, you've found the switch, now you just need to get your feet moving.

Main thing is it's unsecured so get your tough skin on and make sure you pay your priority debts first.

Please tell OH before she finds out....otherwise you'll have the long haul ahead of you, trying to keep it under the radar and then you'll get a phone-call from a creditor and the whole thing will fall on you.

You can't risk it I'm afraid.

If she leaves you over this it's game over anyway re the house.

The hardest part is saving £3 by a load of hard work and the other half blows it inadvertently.....and some.

Have you made plans for the next few months? holidays? meals out....you can't keep saying no for no reason.

I do feel for you as it's certainly not fun but then again it's not life or death - assume she'll find out at some point and time telling her at the right/ best moment....good luck.

Alternatively, say how bad it is with your plan to get out that you can sort out soon with the help of those onhere and the places people have mentioned before....do what a politician would do and focus on the future and the positives....

let us know how you get on. You need to look after you, and your job - it's not like you're some criminal....

You sound like a great, giving bloke who's in a bad spot....most of the people on here are lovely and wanted to give to people for various reasons and it's not worked out....

keep with it, please

mo1_2

hi,dont feel like youll never get out of it,you will,there all great people on here with great advice,money is not worth losing your life over,i was at my wits end before i came on here,im not debt free yet,but with support im getting there,i know how the worry takes over your every waking hour,but it will get better,there is a way,so speak to someone if you feel that depressed,mo