Can We Still Sleep At Night??

stevo2_2

Hello everyone who is on a dmp

I was wondering to myself today and even at night about my situation and how I got myself into this mess!

I came out of the debt closit last may07 to my girlfriend. She went mad at first but really supported me in the end and even though it will take about 10 years to clear my debts, she still want sto marry me!

The problem I have is I still have bad nightmares about money and still lay awake in the night thinking about it. It really does feel like a life sentance of debt! Even when i am doing my job I am in robot mode thinking of the debt.

I have been on a dmp with Payplan since june 2007 and still get hassled from creditors although they have all accepted my offers im always on a knife edge waiting for either court letters or Baliffs!!

I just wondered if anyone else had this problem or is it just me??

It would be good to hear from people who are in the same situation and how they deal with the stress and the life sentance of debt!!

Thanx.

gax23

Hi stevo2,

If you don't mind me asking, what's the level of your debt?

dancingfairy

Have you tried posting an SOA on here so people can see if there is any where you can cut back and save up to pay off your creditors? Have you spoken to Payplan about how you feel and the fact you are still getting letters etc?

stevo2_2

£42,000 in debt, Payplan have been excellent, all the letters have now stopped although Alliance and Leicester were awful and i begged them to accept my offer and they finally did after 2 months of letters and calls.

The last 8 months have been difficult. I have been living on a shoestring although I have learned the value of money and how to use it wisely. I don't eat luxury food anymore I sold my car and got a scooter and now have a healthy bank balance the main proble is that it won't go out of my head the level of debt i am in, and i never wish for an IVA or to go bankrupt as I own my own property with my partner and she paid the deposit so it's not fair to drag her down with me!

supersavershal

Hi im not on a dmp but have similar amount of debt with my partner.It will be ten years before we are debt free but im hoping it will be sooner, we have a loan and csa payments stopping in the next 2 years and will have £400 extra to pay our debt off.Dont let it get you down if you have a healthy bank account it shows things are improving for you, look at ten years as the longest length of time you will be in debt and work at getting it down sooner.Its only money at the end of the day and no one ever died because they owe money (not to banks anyway).Good luck with it all.Stick around here and you will soon be looking to the future feeling more positive and it helps to know you are not the only one in this position.There is also a long haul support thread here you should join.

dancingfairy

do you allow yourself a small treat each week - it's gotta be good to have a small reward and treat yourself for the fact you are sorting it out.
Do you track your debt and say it was £45 k now it's £42 k (or whatever) or maybe count how much you've paid off.
You are paying your debts back - be proud of the fact you have faced up to it.
What about your partner - is she supportive and can she reassure you?
How about the doctor for some counselling if you really are having problems?
Perhaps think about your worst fears and think how you would cope - ie I get a threatening letter - pass it on to payplan etc. Whatever happens you will should be able to get help and advice from Payplan if something did go wrong with your agreement, you've got the CAB, Moneysavingexpert - there will always be somewhere you can get advice so you will not be on your own.

Apart from the above I can't really help anymore sorry - I have never been in your position but hopefully someone with more experience will be along shortly.

HairyHandofDartmoor

At least you are tackling the situation. It is a lot of debt, but there are people on here who owe more than you. If you are doing all that you can to pay it off, then you need to chill out a bit about it. You can only do what you can do.

Anyway it may not be a life sentence. Your wages may go up in the future enabling you to pay your debt off more quickly. Keep on top of your debt, but try and stay positive.

stevo2_2

Thanks for that, it is very daunting although as you say-it's just money isn't it! The problem is, it stops you from doing things in life like holidays days out new cars etc, my girlfriend wanted to have a family but we have to put that on hold now!

Gemmzie

You can still have these things, you just need to budget carefully for them or find other ways of getting them.
E.g. go in for lots of holiday competitions!

Alisonbel

Your creditors should not be hassling you if they have accepted payment plan nor should they send baliffs etc. Our debt is more than yours the only trouble we had was with Egg but that could be because my husband refused to speak to them!! Have a small treat each month otherwise it does feel like a chore.

melie3

hi,
im not sleeping well at the moment either. i used to have a DMP with CCCS but they cancelled it in november, because i have 2k mortgage arrears ive gotta sort. the mortgage isnt a problem now, as i budget very wisely, but i feel very alone, im a mum of 3, my husband leaves it all to me to sort as 'im at home'. even if a call from a creditor for him calls, he says here talk to the wife. im having problems with a DCA who want £400pm which ive not got(ive/weve another 12 creditors who want a piece of me anyway)
i cant even buy my kids new clothing or shoes right now. i just wish i hadnt got in a pickle this time around, DMP is such a burden lifted.