Worried about going BR (SOA included)

wherediditallgo

I've copied this over for Sweet Sloth.

Sweet_Sloth wrote: »

Just been browsing some of the threads as not been on site for 7 mos now - how time flies!!

Lots of brave people here who have struggled for yrs with debts, amongst other things, regardless of what other people say/think about BR.

I'm kinda looking for some advice myself, and will try to post my SOA, but bear with me as not done this before. Maybe someone could comment if their debt was lower, higher or even around the same as mine so I can get an idea of what I'm dealing with here. Logic tells me I'm in big trouble and will never be able to afford to pay everything off; making me question if a life like that would be worth living (especially as most of the debts are my fault through impulsive spending, holidays, gifts for occasions and for non-occasions , but also through starting out living together and as a married couple buying necessities too and student loan payments! After awhile it started to become "Robbing Peter to pay Paul," as the consolidated loans would allow us to pay credit cards but then we would pay student loans on cc, and on and on and on....).

My partner too is suffering because of me - he is such a hard worker and tries everything he can, but over the last 2 yrs has become increasingly angry and disgruntled that no matter what we try it seems to make no difference to our financial circumstances!!! I have even though of getting a 2nd job, but with taxes it would be gone before I could say "debts"! Also, I can't shake those niggling doubts and worries that going BR is giving up, giving in, and irresponsible as it means the taxpayer is shouldering my debts instead of me.

SOA:
1) £20,000 - Personal Loan taken out for us via in-laws
2) £22,249.50
3) £17,241.75
4) £10,665.16
5) £2,743.43
Total=£52,899.84!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Not counting rent, daily living expenses, student loans, etc...)

Any help, advice, or comments would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers, Sloth x

FeelingLow

i can't really answer your questions or comment on your SOA but by going BR in my book certainly isn't giving up, giving in, a lot of us really have no other choice & belive me i haven't entered in to BR without thoughly thinking it through,

i wish you luck in which ever route you decide to take

LesleyL_2

[QUOTEAlso, I can't shake those niggling doubts and worries that going BR is giving up, giving in, and irresponsible as it means the taxpayer is shouldering my debts instead of me.
][/QUOTE]

hi Sloth

like all of us, you have been contributing to society by working and paying taxes or by being at home with kids raising our lovely new generation so you have yourself been one of those taxpayers shouldering the debts of others who have run into difficulties, at it's best, thats what our society does, helps those who for some reason get into some difficulty

when it becomes unbearable, we all need to cry for help
that's all you are doing, let the guilt go, take some good advice from one of the debt charities and then come back here for encouragement and support in whatever informed decision you make

have added the borrowed link for the debt charities
Lesley

Your first port of call should be to contact one of the Debt Charities; see links below. Their services are free; they have no vested interest to serve; their advisors are professionally trained and the advice they give will be objective and in your best interests only. CCCS operate a system of telephone appointments that are designed to be flexible and don’t require you to attend an office based interview. At the CAB you will need to make an appointment with a specialist Financial Advisor; other advisors may not have the specialist knowledge you’ll need.


http://www.cccs.co.uk/

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index.htm

If you’re advised that bankruptcy is the most suitable solution to your financial problems then we can offer the best support and anecdotal advice that you’ll find anywhere on the Web.

For more specific advice and support, in an environment that is managed by people with first hand experience of bankruptcy, and moderated to ensure that no deliberately inflammatory or abusive posts are made then please visit:

http://bankruptcysupportersclub.co.uk/default.aspx

Just remember, as desperate as you may feel at the moment, we have all experienced what you are going through at the moment and with the right support and advice things will improve. It’s not an easy route to take but it is a route that will put you back in control of your life rather than just reacting to events.

tigerfeet2006

As Lesley has said get in touch with one of the debt charities to go through ALL your options.

Lesley that was a lovely post.