Ostrich syndrome

scaredandsad

Hi everyone
Just thought I'd do a bit of an update. It's just over a week later and I feel so much better - on the path to being debt free and it's a good feeling.

I have an appointment with cccs next week, which will give me more advice but in the interim I've done quite a bit

* In process of moving bank accounts after finding I was being charge £28 a month in interest
* Put 20 items on eBay (fingers crossed)
and here are the other things:
INCOME
Take home pay (I work 10 days a month) £1,240
Child benefit £116 - sorted this out as they had stopped paying me
New extra job helping out a friend, should bring in £320 a month
Talked to boss at usual job and poss of more work in three month's time
Total £1,356, now should be 1676
(I pay £100 at sources for child care)


Regular outgoings

Alliance and Leicester loan £150.22 until 5/1/2010
HSBC loan £137.58 until 2011
MBNA minimum payment £80
Tesco minimum payment £80
Marbles panic payment! £200
Joint life assurance £33.75
Gym £41 - gone
Home insurance £26.52
Mobile £44.64 - reduced to £15
Broadband/phone £34.87
Personal life insurance £23.04
Camelot £18 - gone obviously
Travel to work: £240 a month - trying to arrange shifts out of peak hours which could half the cost
Lunch at work: £40 a month - taking it in
Petrol £50 a month
Food and odd-bits shopping £200 a month - making this more efficient
Social stuff: £30 a month
Total: £1430 now 1301


Here are the details of the cards
Marbles £6305.75 14.9% transferring to 0% til Nov
Tesco £2563.22 0% until 21/04/08
Barclaycard £2177.10 0% until Nov 2008
MBNA £1816 0% until Feb 2008 then 17.9% - transferring to 0% til Nov
Next £69.26 APR26.49% - paid off
Total £12,934

Now ait looks like I have £300 a month in credit to pay off the cards and save for the odd things that come along that were making me use the card (I put £600 of physio on it and £800 of car repairs last year).
It's still a bit scary though and I am still tempted to borrow a large sum and pay it off so that I can then ensure I have enough cash flow, and save a bit. I will be guided by the cccs.

Thanks for all your help. This site has been really encouraging and helpful. I am going to change my name to something more positive now and keep working at chipping away the debt.

horsepills

Scaredandsad -

Well done for being tough on yourself and trimming down the outgoings - I've been in a similar situation in the past and I found it really hard to cancel things like gym membership & take packed lunches to work instead of buying food every day - but you soon start to notice how much of a difference the small sacrifices make.
It's really important to continue being tough from now on though, and really analysing every expense to see if "it really is worth it" or whether or not you have the very best deal for things you are paying for - even if financially you are in a much better position - never allow yourself to become totally relaxed & always keep an eye on your budget! That way your debts will come down faster and it'll spur you on more. I used to bury my head in the sand too - but now I scrutinise every expense and it feels good to be in control! (not that I don't enjoy myself or have the odd treat!).

If I could pass on any more advice though, I'd suggest having a sit down with the husband and getting it out in the open. The best thing I ever did was tell my wife (she was just my g/f at the time though) about my debt. She has been brilliant - really encouraging me, and reigning me in at times when I want to spend! Without that support I'd probably still be in trouble. I think the reaction you expect (anger?) may not be the one you get in the end - the honesty will hopefully result in a bit of help and support. I appreciate though, that you may have your own reasons for not doing this.

Anyway, it's good to hear that you're sorting things out and you've had that "lightbulb moment" where your head came out of the sand! Good luck with everything!

Seaxwyn

Hi scaredandsad, welcome and well done for deciding to deal with your debts.

I too would discourage you from the big loan approach. I did that and am now saddled with a payment of nearly £400/month, which feels like a huge burden.

As your cards are mostly on 0% interest, it would be a shame to replace them with interest-bearing debt. And cards are much easier to pay off as you are not tied into fixed payments - every time you have a spare couple of quid you can pay it off your no 1 target card. Go to https://www.whatsthecost.com, enter the figures into the snowball calculator and have a play.

I think the key to your situation is to find as much money as possible and hammer down those cards and OD, highest interest first. 16k redundancy would obviously be a huge boon, if you could find another job afterwards. But working 10 days a month surely leaves a lot of scope for extra earning. If you can't get an actual second job, what about things like delivering leaflets, cleaning, ironing etc for cash?

Good luck with it - I am sure you will turn this situation around.




Most of your cards are on 0% which is great.

duchy

I do think you're adding a lot more stress to the situation in not telling your OH but obviously you know him better than we do
Your SOA doesn't seem to cover the non regular things as you mention-not just Christmas, Birthdays but child related expenses-days out-their clothes, school trips. I think you really need to work out exactly where your money is going-maybe a spending diary.
I can't see where you live but a lot of places with the length of commute you have also have cheaper commuter coach services as well as rail services, could you park further from the station or get your OH to drop you off to save the parking? Can you start work later and qualify for cheap day returns ? I gave up on working in London after I added up just what it was costing me-the money was so much better but it didn't really cover the "hidden" costs of the longer day, more expensive lunches, the higher spending attitudes of my collegues, "London" work clothes etc. I was better off both moneywise and mentally working locally- I worked fractionally longer hours but the total time away from home was shorter and I ended up with more money in my pocket. Does your job offer the option to work from home-even partially too ?

Don't rush into any course of action though-look at all of your options and then decide calmly. As you can see people are already making suggestions and there will be more to come.

Tustastic

Hi scaredandsad, you've made a great start on your debts and you've had good advice. Well done on all your changes and getting an extra job. It's also worth looking at the article on the main site on life assurance. It's very easy for most people to get a better policy for less money than they were paying originally. I'm sure your husband would be pleased if you found a better cheaper policy for the joint life assurance. It would also be a chance for a casual remark to him that you have started focussing carefully on the finances. By the time you feel like telling him anything about the debts, it'll be because you can't resist boasting about how much you've already paid off.

In_Search_Of_Me

Just to say welcome and well done so far. Please dont colosolodate - you'll regret it although it feels like a quick fix now. The interest is stunning and theres no incentive to reign in your spending. Much better to stick with us & plug away at it.If you can do tell your OH. He surely cant not have realised that something is up & maybe he has solutions to offer too? Plus sharing the stress will help in the long run. I know you feel stupid and a failure but surely living a lie will be more detremental in the long run? I know when people have posted simular in teh past that oh's have been supportive once they get past the initial shock...big hugs for you & keep posting! Its your life and I promise you will feel so much better when you control your finances rather than they controlling you!

bandraoi

I think you need to sit down and work out a budget with your other half and who pays what. From what you say, your husband has a good wage and you have a quite good one, but not enough to cover what's on your portion of the budget.

What that doesn’t take into account is Christmas/birthdays/car maintenance/tax/unexpected physio/dentist etc which I have just been putting on my cards.

Something is wrong somewhere with BOTH your spending habits, and you sorting it out by yourself isn't going to fix it.

pippo

Hi Scaredandsad, you seem to be making a great start.. well done.
It would be good if you could share some of your worries with your other half, but I understand if you can't..
My Dh suffered from depression, which in a way is how I racked up debts.. trying to keep things as they were when he wasn't working and when I thought I could tell him about CC bills he got into such a state about only 1/4 of them I checkened out!
I just quietly plug away at reducing them.
I pay all the bills except for his car & spends, but as he is now working again and bringing in some money I am slowly asking for more and more contributions. Don't get me wrong he does try to pay his way, but doesn't quite have a grip on costs etc.
Anyway.. I only came on to say well daone and keep it up.

Bigdi

Hello Scaredandsad. I, like you dreaded telling my husband and felt as though I had committed a crime. I had taken the responsibility of 'managing the accounts' for the last 30 years and had to admit I had failed - the hardest thing. I was borrowing from cc to pay cc in the end and this was the reason I, alone incurred all the debts. My husband was blissfully happy and I was worried sick. When we were turned down for a consolidation loan for the first time ever, I knew I had to do something. I am a believer in fate and had made a new friend who told me they had a debt of £75K which they had put into a DMP with CCS and this had changed their life around. Their OH never realised the problems they were having either. So, my husband was absolutely ok about it. He even seems relieved as I can now boast that I only use cash and if there isn't any cash we have to go without. In fact, now that we have entered a DMP with Payplan and I have explained everything down to the last penny and, we know how much we have to spend each month we have just wiped the slate clean and I will endeavour to pay off the debt asap (probably 10 years). I put off telling him for about 3 weeks until he found a letter from PP re the insurance I had taken out to cover me if I died on the dining room table - I then confessed all in one breath and that was it. Over and done with. Now I will only look forward! Nobody had died after all thank God! I have a new account which I monitor each day to ensure I am still in credit something I was scared to do once every 6 months in my previous debt-ridden life. Take care and be brave. It will sort itself out in the end.

bank_of_slate

Hi scaredandsad,
Welcome to the best forum you will ever find.
Please reconsider telling your OH, I hid it for 2 years before he found a statement that I'd hidden. I lived on pins all the time, dreading the postman coming, trying to get to the mail before he did and quickly hiding the statement, particularly hard on a weekend when we were both in!
He hit the roof because he literally had NO idea, he was more cross about the fact that I'd hidden it than the actual situation I was in.
In all, I've had £36,000 worth of secret debt that I am just £420 off clearing.
We now work together to make sure we stay on track, take responsibility for our spending and we're stronger than ever!
Good luck babe.
...Linda xx