Tesco frozen seafood price drops

PORTER790

Did you hear about the shellfish fisherman's *enis contest?

It was to see who had the langoustine:rotfl:

Lynsey

Stuff it, I'll just have scampi .......

Changed my mind, too expensive...........................

.................they wanted 6 squid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek:


Hubbys having extra large cod and chips, I'll "halibut" of his....:D


Lynsey

PORTER790

why are fish so smart?
coz they live in schools:rotfl:

Lynsey

Two fish swim in to a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam”.

Lynsey

Lynsey

Why Fishing Is Better Than Sex
When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither and don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

You can catch and release a fish; you don't have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

You can catch a fish on a £20 night crawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.


Lynsey

PORTER790

What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it at you

PORTER790

Lynsey wrote: »

Why Fishing Is Better Than Sex When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither and don't want to know how many other fish you caught.

In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.

You can catch and release a fish; you don't have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.

You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.

You can catch a fish on a £20 night crawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.

Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.


Lynsey

LOL that is brilliant :rotfl:

PORTER790

Far away, in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the warm, azure sea. One was named Justin and the other Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by the numerous sharks that patrolled the area.
One day, Justin said to Christian, “I’m bored and frustrated at being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten.”
As soon as Justin had fixated on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appeared and said, “Your wish is granted!” — and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark!
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old pal.
Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin gradually realized that his new, menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While out swimming alone one day, he saw the mysterious cod again and couldn’t believe his luck. Justin figured that if the fish could change him from a prawn to a shark, he could just as readily change him back into a prawn. He begged the cod to return him to his original form and, lo and behold (again), he turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(Note: The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail — it’s much worse.)

Looking around the boisterous gathering at the reef, Justin searched for his old pal. “Where’s Christian?” he asked.
“He’s at home, distraught that his best friend went over to the enemy and became a shark,” came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian’s house. As he opened the coral gate, the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, “It’s me, Justin, your old friend! Come out and see me!”
Christian replied, “No way, man, you’ll eat me! You’re a shark, the enemy, and I’ll not be tricked!”
Justin cried back, “No, no, I’m not! That was the old me — I’ve changed…
…I’ve found cod and I’m a prawn again, Christian!”:j

Lynsey

Two fish are in a tank........................




...................One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"



Lynsey

Lynsey

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day..................



...............................Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.




Lynsey