....Between a rock and a hard place....

finnigan

I'm posting because I just don't know what to do for the best. I'm a stay a home Mum because I have a disabled child. She is at a special school but needs watching every moment she is home because her disability is 'mental' as opossed to 'psysical' and she dosen't seem to need sleep so shes up a lot in the night.
The problem is with my DH. He works nights for a local supermarket, this was supposed to be temperary while I was on maternity leave but things happened and I stayed home to care for our daughter. He has severe sleep apnea - he stops breating 175 times an hour on average - currently this is untreated, he is on the waiting list for a cpap machine but this means every time he sits down he falls asleep, I can't leave him in charge of our daughter.
His employer refuses to move him from working in the chiller and he is getting repeated chest infections - this is in spite of requests from the union.
He is desperatly looking for another job but he is dyslexic and so office work is out of the question and his current rate of sickness is putting every possible employer off.

I just don't know what to do. He can't stay where he is because his health is failing and I can't leave him in charge of our Daughter otherwise we would swop over, as it is I'm in the middle of an OU degree, I wanted to get a qualification while I'm 'stuck' at home but I now feel lost as to where we go from here.

Thank you for reading

Finnigan

Conor_3

I think I'd be looking to see if you could survive with him living on Incapacity Benefit because really, he shouldn't be working if he is that bad.

A big round of applause to the man for managing to continue working. My dad is in a similar situation although not as severe so I know what he must be like.

TigerAngel11

I'd look into the legal issues surrounding his current work - it isn't fair that he should have to work in the chilled section when this is causing him to be ill and it seems that it wouldn't pose a huge problem for them to move him to another section - especially as this type of job usually has a high turnover. Contact his Union (again) to see what help they can offer him, the Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help and it might be a good idea to discuss this with someone at the Job Centre.

Obviously it's better if he stays in employment if he can - benefit is a fraction of what you can get in even a part time job, although if you have no other option there is extra support available. Again, this is something best discussed with the professionals.

Hope you get this sorted and reach a favourable situation,

Leigh

finnigan

Thank you - both of you - I very much appreciate you taking the time out to post.
Conor, may I please ask, does your Dad have osa? if so, does he have a cpap machine and did it help him? My DH is young, 45, and I think it would be hard on him if he stopped working, he would feel as if he was totaly unemployable and useless to the family. I desperatly want him out from under his current boss and in a section away from the fridges especially as they refuse to provide gloves even.
Thank you for listening, just typing it all out has been theraputic.

Finnigan

Savvy_Sue

Wondering if he needs to raise a greivance! They SHOULD supply all necessary Personal Protective Equipment - at least that's what Conor said somewhere else, didn't you Conor?

Conor_3

PPE..yes, he should have some if he's working in a chiller and there should be regular "warm" breaks every so often. I know at the cold stores I've been to, the staff there are issued full head to toe bodywarmer type overalls, a hat with ear muffs and thick mittens and have to take at least one break an hour in a heated room.

Here's what you need to know about working in cold stores.
http://www.devonline.gov.uk/index/information_and_services/environmental_health/eh-healthandsafety-intro/eh-hs-guidance/eh-hs-coldstore.htm
The important parts:
4.Working at low temperatures

• Provision of suitable thermal/protective clothing
• Access to warm rooms with hot drinks for breaks, the length and frequency of which will depend on the nature of the work, the working temperature and exposure time.
• Cabs of any lift trucks to be heated and enclosed.

5.Special medical risks
People working in cold stores should be physically capable of undertaking the work. A pre-employment medical examination is recommended, and health checks should be carried out subsequently as deemed necessary.



Regarding my dad and his osa, he's in the same boat and waiting for a cpap machine. My parents had to close their dog grooming business because he couldn't work and my mum does some part time from home. Not good.

finnigan

Thanks guys, I got him to speak to the union rep again last night and she suggested getting the diagnosis put in writing as he is now in agreement with me that he should start working days.
I know it'll be an arguement to get him moved but his current working life is unacceptable. I guess I'm just concerned they'll shove him outside to collect trollies or something equally as inappropriate, but at least we're getting somewhere now.

Finnigan

finnigan

I'm sorry about your folks Conor, from what I've heard so far the cpap should help fairly quickly. I found a youtube home made vid of a chap explaining the equipment (bless him) which helped my DH to know what to expect.

nzmegs

I am sorry about your husbands work problems - but sorting out his sleep problems would be a really good start. Most very often sleep apnea is caused by being overweight - if this is the case you need to take it in hand, think long term and help him lose it. I am not trying to offer medical advice, but any health problems will be adding to his other problems and it can only help. You will be waiting on the NHS for a long time so you can try sorting it out yourself if possible.

if he is not overweight - and it is caused by other issues then i am really sorry and tell me to b*tt out....

PasturesNew

Your DH needs to get to see the Occupational Health Advisor for the organisation. As there is a Union, I am assuming the company is large enough to provide one of these somewhere/somehow (I've never worked for a company who did, so I've no experience of them even existing until I recently went temping for a company that provide these services)

The OHA will then probably write to his GP to confirm what your OH has told them and will request a diagnosis and prognosis. Unfortunately, from my experience of this, it isn't quick. The GP might even take a month or more to reply. Then the OHA will either see your OH again or write to the employer suggesting suitable adjustments to his working.

So, going down that route, at best, it could take 2 months to get changes made. The combined weight of an OHA and a Union will mean things are more likely to speed up so he's taken out of the cold room. Does he wear thermal undergarments? If not, that might help him keep a bit warmer/longer.

Good luck.

I can see you are trying against all the odds and good on you both for having such a strong work ethic. We need more people like you in this country!

You don't say what type of organisation he works in. If it is frozen food distribution, for example, then it is unlikely there are opportunities for redeployment if the only options are cold room or office.

I wish I could press a magic button and make it all all right for you immediately.

finnigan

Hi, yes bless him he is very over weight but I'm told this is a simptom (I can't spell for toffee - sorry ) of the condition mainly because he too damm tired the whole time. Anyway the Doc he saw said the same as you - he has to lose weight but that he shouldn't start exercising untill he sorts the sleep out, something to do oxygen in the muscles and risk of tearing them again. She also said he will allways need the cpap no matter how much weight he loses.
Hun, I wouldn't have posted if I didn't want honest opinions, the last thing I'm going to do is tell you to **** out.
The point of me studying for a degree now is that I can hopefully get a job I enjoy. I have to be at home for now so I'm using this time to get the basic degree done and when its finished I want to go to uni to do a conversion course to train to be an occupational therapist so I can work with kids like my DD and hopfully work school hours, we acctually have five children, my DD is our fourth, we take the view that although we do claim benefits - child tax credit sort of thing - we must also work.

The company he works for is the largest supermarket chain in the uk and his store is huge. Their total lack of regard for employment laws is appaling especially at night when there is no union rep on duty. It's not just my DH who has a bad run of it.

He has been given a form for the oha but this form gives permission for his company to get all of his medical records from his gp sent to his direct manager, and it is this particular chap that he has the most problems with and so he refuses to sign it. I don't blame him for that and this is one reason why I want him to work days, I want him out from under this man. One example of his pettyness was after he and DH had an arguement he removed DHs car reg no from the staff list. DH then got a letter warning him he had overstayed in the car park and he would get a fine if he did it again. We got it sorted but it was stress we just don't need.