Where to start ?

ladybelle

dunstonh wrote: »

Unfortunately, that was a bad decision. All that free money has been wasted.



But £20pm is only going to give you £50pm so that level of contribution is no good either and you cannot afford more.

I sympathise with your situation but I fear that unless your husband agrees to pay the mortgage and you keep the property at the end there is little hope of you not being forced to move. If you do get that, then equity release may be required in retirement to help you live. So, there are some longer term solutions.

You should make sure your solicitor is aware of your situation. Do you have children? if you do then you should be able to demand quite a lot. If you dont, then it will be harder for you to make such high demands.

My children are grown but they still live at home but they are not taken into account for any child support as they are both working. They of course contribute to the income, but one will be moving out in a couple years and the other probably some time after that, so I wont even have their money to be able to use.
I dont have a solicitor yet, I just took advice when we first separated and her advice was to remain amicable and hoped he paid what he agreed for as long as possible, but of course that will change at some point when we go down official divorce route.
I wont be able to move though because of my agoraphobia. I cant go anywhere to work or into town unaccompanied. How will I ever be able to move home. My home is my safety net. The only place I feel secure and dont have panic attacks.

What she said was that there are a number of criteria that applies in divorce, length of marriage, his ability to earn against mine, standard of living before, my disability, all will come into it. But we have a big mortgage still and most courts will order it sold so i would end up with just a bit of money and no home and no ability to be able to even pay for rent with my inability to earn much.

I had hoped that he would be either forced or agree to pay the mortgage and let me live in the house and I will forego my right to his pension, hence my worries about how I will live in my retirement, if we ever get to that point.

Other advice has indicated I might get a 70 - 30 share, but if I still lose the house, and end up with say £50,000 I still have to find somewhere to live, and with savings then wont be eligible for any benefits. I feel totally lost and scared and he is the one in the wrong yet I am the one who is going to be made to suffer.

ladybelle

tanith wrote: »

ladybelle I have been reading your thread with sympathy.. did you and your husband not have any 'joint' savings that you could claim a share of? also have you looked at benefits that you may be eligible for because of your disability? just some thoughts... I will keep reading all the good advice you are getting here...

we never had savings, we have never had money. That's what is so unfair about how it all evolved. For the first time in 20 years we were free of debt, he was working well, I was well in myself and able to work part time, we had got into debt over the years and it all ended up on the mortgage hence the bigger mortgage. Such a bolt from the blue, for him to just up and leave. He knows my disability and how little I can do, in fact that is one of the reasons he says he is going, because he is fed up with it.
I am looking into benefits now, and am hopeful of one, but I have never wanted to rely on benefits and that still wont be enough for me to pay the mortgage for another 23 years plus everything else.
On my first solicitor visit she said I was not entitled to any future inheritances, but on a few divorce sites I've been looking at, on there, it seems I might be ? but again it all comes down to what he agrees and I dont think there is any way he would agree to that.
And in any case, I dont really want that (well I do LOL) but I would forego ALL that if it meant I can keep the house. He is the one in the wrong, he had the affair and left, but in order for me to keep the house, I would be willing to give up his pension and any future money, as long as I keep the house and he pays for the mortgage, or at least part of it.
On another side though, I would just like a whole fresh start, but I cant afford that.
I just dont know what to do
Sorry for rambling on. I've gone WAY off topic.

jamesd

Do you live in a part of the country where property is expensive (say the whole SE) or one where it is less expensive?

The equity in the house today is not huge but it is enough that it could pay for a deposit on a one bedroom flat or two bedroom house that depending on area could cost from 60-140,000. That may be a considerably lower mortgage requirement that would substantially reduce the amount of pension value that must be given up to pay for the mortgage payments. Or may greatly shorten the mortgage term needed. This is assuming that he's still part of the mortgage deal so his income will be used to calculate affordability.

In general, it's not a great idea to rely on him paying you any regular income for any substantial time. His life will change and it's very likely that he will at some point form another relationship that will make its own demands on his income. A pension split won't have that direct impact on his ability to form a new life, so the more of any settlement that is solely a pension split, the greater the chance is that you will actually get it without future trouble.

Income from him for items like mortgage payments probably will affect your eligibility for means-tested benefits.

The idea of changing home is probably terrifying. But you should at least look at places that you think you could be able to live and what the potential effect on the income and capital needs will be. Even disregarding him, benefits often have fixed levels that go further in lower cost parts of the country. Hopefully ending up in a place that is 100% owned comparatively rapidly would make it an even more secure place than your current home.

You should assume that he will have a future wife who will be entitled to any inheritances that come from his side of the family. There's every chance that he will have children in that relationship and an obligation to care for their needs, as he stayed with his current children to look after their needs until they were adult. His possible future obligations like this are one reason why relying on future income from him is risky. The sooner you can eliminate any dependency on him, the better for your financial stability. At present it sounds as though he is going to be best advised to use the court system to minimise his obligations to you.

ladybelle

jamesd wrote: »

Do you live in a part of the country where property is expensive (say the whole SE) or one where it is less expensive?

The equity in the house today is not huge but it is enough that it could pay for a deposit on a one bedroom flat or two bedroom house that depending on area could cost from 60-140,000. That may be a considerably lower mortgage requirement that would substantially reduce the amount of pension value that must be given up to pay for the mortgage payments. Or may greatly shorten the mortgage term needed. This is assuming that he's still part of the mortgage deal so his income will be used to calculate affordability.

In general, it's not a great idea to rely on him paying you any regular income for any substantial time. His life will change and it's very likely that he will at some point form another relationship that will make its own demands on his income. A pension split won't have that direct impact on his ability to form a new life, so the more of any settlement that is solely a pension split, the greater the chance is that you will actually get it without future trouble.

Income from him for items like mortgage payments probably will affect your eligibility for means-tested benefits.

The idea of changing home is probably terrifying. But you should at least look at places that you think you could be able to live and what the potential effect on the income and capital needs will be. Even disregarding him, benefits often have fixed levels that go further in lower cost parts of the country. Hopefully ending up in a place that is 100% owned comparatively rapidly would make it an even more secure place than your current home.

You should assume that he will have a future wife who will be entitled to any inheritances that come from his side of the family. There's every chance that he will have children in that relationship and an obligation to care for their needs, as he stayed with his current children to look after their needs until they were adult. His possible future obligations like this are one reason why relying on future income from him is risky. The sooner you can eliminate any dependency on him, the better for your financial stability. At present it sounds as though he is going to be best advised to use the court system to minimise his obligations to you.

I already live in an area which is fairly pricey and my own house is only a small terrace which is only worth in the region of £150,000. We currently have a mortgage for £76,000. If it was sold I would end up with approx £35,000. Our mortgage is on a fixed deal and is £475 a month, that deal ends in a couple years. I dont even earn that much a month so would never be able to go and get a new property in my own name. I f I had to do that I would rather fight and keep this house,
He's already with another woman, he left me for her, they wont have children though, she is older, and he cant have more children so that wont be an issue.
He doesnt want to go to court or get solicitors involved because he wont get legal aid and cant afford all the costs involved. My initial advice was to stay as we are now with him making payments, but I dont know how long this will go on for until he suddenly says that's it, go to court.
I am willing to give up his pension as long as I keep the house, but I cant afford to pay for the house alone. He would get the better deal because he'd still have his pension for his future, plus he would have a share in the house (unless it was in my name but he be forced to pay mortgage) I'd like to have the house just in my name, but I can never afford the mortgage, especially when the current deal ends.

EdInvestor

It looks to me you are being unrealistic about the house.You are likely to find that his pension is worth far, far more than the net equity in the home and thus it will be much better to go for sharing that, and then split what's left over after selling the house and paying off the mortgage..

If you have only a small salary - or an income from benefits - you would be eligible for housing benefit , so your rent and council tax on a new place would be paid. You can have some cash savings in this situation,any excess can be spent on things you will need long term or invested in an insurance wrapper (endowment or life bond) which means it won't be counted in assessing benefits.

I'd go and talk to the CAB - you need to inform yourself on the benefits situation if you can't work, it's too risky to rely on support from your ex: it's unlikely this will persist long term.

ladybelle

EdInvestor wrote: »

It looks to me you are being unrealistic about the house.You are likely to find that his pension is worth far, far more than the net equity in the home and thus it will be much better to go for sharing that, and then split what's left over after selling the house and paying off the mortgage..

If you have only a small salary - or an income from benefits - you would be eligible for housing benefit , so your rent and council tax on a new place would be paid. You can have some cash savings in this situation,any excess can be spent on things you will need long term or invested in an insurance wrapper (endowment or life bond) which means it won't be counted in assessing benefits.

I'd go and talk to the CAB - you need to inform yourself on the benefits situation if you can't work, it's too risky to rely on support from your ex: it's unlikely this will persist long term.

The solicitor said his pension *might* match the equity in the house but I have no idea, and he has no clue either, and isnt even speaking now.
I had hoped that it might in some way counteract it so I could keep the house outright myself, if I gave up my rights to his pension. If it did match any equity he would be due in the house if we sold it, then I would prefer to keep the house to myself and give up the pension BUT I cant afford to pay for the mortgage on my own.
Is there any chance he would lose his right to the house if he kept his pension, but still be forced to pay mortgage payments as some sort of spousal maintainance ?
If we sell the house and I end up with a lump sum, I wont get any benefits as you arent allowed a lot of savings I dont think ?
When I went to the CAB before they said I did have an option to "throw myself at the state" but I dont really want to do that, I am capable of working part time and would prefer to continue doing that as I dont think the state would pay everything ? and at least with working I do have options for overtime for emergencies, I wouldnt have that with benefits.
I still do have the children living at home, I cant just move into a smaller place as my house now IS a small tiny terraced house. I cant go much smaller ! :eek:

EdInvestor

Do you have any idea how much his final salary pension is likely to be?

He has a top quality Govt one, and these are very expensive.To give you an example, a pension of 5,000 pounds a year (eg the basic state pension) would require a fund of 150,000 pounds to buy.

What is his salary now and how old is he?

You could possibly "trade" part of your rights to his pension in return for the full amount of the equity in the property. Could you buy a small flat for 75k?

ladybelle

EdInvestor wrote: »

Do you have any idea how much his final salary pension is likely to be?

He has a top quality Govt one, and these are very expensive.To give you an example, a pension of 5,000 pounds a year (eg the basic state pension) would require a fund of 150,000 pounds to buy.

What is his salary now and how old is he?

You could possibly "trade" part of your rights to his pension in return for the full amount of the equity in the property. Could you buy a small flat for 75k?

I have no idea what his pension will be. All I can tell you is that he has paid into a civil service pension for 29 years. He is on a salary of approx £32,000 now. He's 46. I dont know what that means for how much he contributes or has contributed. Maybe you or someone else can shed some light on this. This was to be my next question really whether anyone could possibly give a guess on what it might equate to now, whether someone else had had a valuation done over a similar time scale ?
I was horrified today to see that a house had sold in my road for £144,000. For some reason houses in this road dont sell for very much, flats are going for a similar amount if not more. And I still need a 3 bedroomed place so doubt I could get anything for less than this house is worth.
Renting is also SO expensive ! I never knew this of course until I had to start looking into things.

Andy_L

His current pension is worth 29/80ths (years of servce/80)of £32k plus a 3x lump sum ie £11,600/pa (increasing with RPI) plus a £34800 lump sum at the age of 60.
If he leaves that will increase by RPI, if he stays it will increase in line with salary & extra years of servce
So thats worth ca £380k going by Ed's numbers

EdInvestor

Andy_L wrote: »

So thats worth ca £380k going by Ed's numbers

Thanks Andy

Thus the joint assets would appear to be 380k pension plus 75k(net) property = 455k total, so half each is 227k: if you can arrange to take the full 75k from the property now in cash, that would mean approx 150k would be earmarked from the pension which would double your (basic) state pension when you eventually retire, not too bad, that looks adequate, especially as you have 20 yars to accrue other savings.

Suggest you start charging the kids proper rent and stashing the maintenance money away in the bank so you can increase your savings and have more than 75k to spend on your new home in due course.


Any chance you can get a better job?