In debt , health issues , on benefits , addiction , desperate

pnerick

Hi everyone. The only place I can start is from the top .

I'm currently in £9000 worth of debt with 5 credit card companies.

I’m currently receiving 3 benefits of esa cont based , pip and iidb .

I have a long term permanent bsck condition which I’ve had multiple surgeries for the last one being 3 months ago . This has been over 15 years . I live with permanent nerve damage , and pain everyday . Over the years it has really affected my mental health , I have suicidal tendencies . During these periods of poor mental health I gamble. It takes me out of the real world for a bit, but then the stress of losing money affect my mental health too . So it’s a big vicious circle .

I’m married and have such a wonderful wife and caring daughter I don’t really deserve them . She has helped me out a lot . Probabaly to my detriment in a way . She has her own debt aswell . But I’ve had to make a decision that I can’t be in control of the household finances anymore . So the plan is to have a basic chip and pin card . Remove myself from our joint account . And this starts tomorrow.

Yesterday I phoned stepchange for some advice what to do .

My credit card payment history is perfect never missed a payment. But this has been because I thought it was so important to service these and basically struggle at home . I caused the debt so I should pay .

I’m getting off track .

I did my budget with them and after everything that is left over I have around £65 left before debt payments . Their advice is a DRO . And to contact all my cereditors and ask what forbearance is available .

HSBC - 60 day breathing space optional £5 payment of affordable

Zable - £5 payment for the next 3 months

Vanquis 30 day cool off period

Virgin 60 day breathing space

Fluid 30 day breathing space

my main issue I think is the gambling and that I have withdrawn money specifically to gamble online .

Also my wife paid £200 on one of my credit cards as the promotional period had ended and the interest would have left me unable to pay the minimum. Which I can’t afford anyway .

Stepchsnge have said they can’t do the dro but that moneywellness or cab can . Is this really the only choice for me apart from bankruptcy

thanks for reading my post and advice would be greatly appreciated

RAS

OK, a couple of practical pointers.

Stepchange lost the government contract for DROs about 3 years ago. CAB's contract was renewed. So that affects what long term help a debt advisor can provide.

You haven't told us if you rent, have a mortgage or are in social housing?

If you have any joint accounts with your wife, you need to separate before you stop paying debt. And get your income and essential DDs in a new single account not associated with any banking group to whom you owe money

pnerick

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https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82147904#Comment_82147904

thanks for your reply . Yes they said either cab or money wellness can do the dro but MWN can use the budget I have created with stepchange .

We private rent .

We have a joint account. Which I’m getting my name taken off tomorrow. Ideally I would like her in charge of all the finances, is that not possible ?

pnerick

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82147911#Comment_82147911

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82147911#Comment_82147911

just to add the joint account and my personal bank account aren’t associated with any debts I have

fatbelly

Sounds like a Dro is a good choice. See how you get on with MW. Full list of competent authorities is here

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/how-to-get-a-debt-relief-order-dro#organisations-who-can-help-you-get-a-dro

sourcrates

I too share a long term back condition, and I followed a pretty similar path to you a few years ago now.

Are you getting help with the gambling?

For me I could turn it on or off at will, and I haven`t gambled for over 20 years now.

A DRO would be a good choice, but you must start from a solid foundation, as any return to gambling can and will likely see it fail.

9K of debt is not the worst we have seen, so this is easily doable.

ManyWays

If MW will do the DMP, that will be a quicker than going to Citizens Advice, but MW seem to get sniffy about some cases that a Citizens Advice advice would see as normal DROs.

So try MW first, then let us know if they say no, or try to talk you into some other debt solution.

It's up to you two how you manage money. After a gambling problem, one option that can help rebuild your joint finances and trust is for you to move your pay to her account and she sends you back a spending allowance each week.

pnerick

hi thanks everyone for your comments , so I’ve been on the phone to MWN today . They say I do quality for a dro based on my finances. They also said possible medical write off . Due to multiple back surgeries including an emergency fusion due to cauda equina syndrome . My last surgery being 3 months ago .

I did ask them how if the gambling would affect the dro ,they said the dro team will want to ask me more questions on it.

I told them the truth. That I’ve spent around 2000 on crypto casinos . But I’ve taken steps to stop this by opening a chase account ( they don’t accept any payments to crypto) . I’ve taken my name of the joint Account and I’ve closed my NatWest and in process of closing Lloyds account down .

I want to be total transparent . Am I best keeping the Lloyds to show statements .

The joint account is where my income went

Lloyd’s is where it is now

Chase bank is my future bank where my income will go .

Standing orders will be made for wife to sort money and just give me an allowance

ManyWays

I would suggest the DRO route rather than write offs, which may be complicated by the gambling. A DRO is just simpler and quicker. You may get a Debt Relief Restriction Order because of the gambling, but they do not make much difference to most people.