And so a new journey to being debt free begins

Followtherainbow

Hello, I have lurked on these pages so long, carrying the shame of debt, never quite being able to get on top of things, finding myself spending in times of being down, trying to impress, trying to exist and because really during most of my adult life not having a very good relationship with money. I now find myself towards the end of my 50s, determined to get debt free as the shame of it is such a burden to carry. Nobody knows about my debt, and I know lots of people find themselves in debt these days and I would be the first to tell someone not to be ashamed and I wanted to start this little diary to be accountable. I have followed so many people through the years who have given me such inspiration and I have learnt so much. I now live quite a frugal life, the odd treat when I can afford and I have learned to focus so much on gratitude, the simple things. So to begin I live alone, with my two beautiful kitties. I do have a boyfriend of many years but we do not live together and he knows nothing of my debt. I rent, I work full time and I have a loving family and a few close friends but I do find myself detaching myself over the years as there lives have gone in such a different direction, and I feel I don't fit in and cannot keep up. That is of course the story my ruminating, anxiety ridden head tells me. I do find it hard to let people in. Especially since menopause, the feeling of just wanting to hide myself from the world has increased. So, for anyone who has read this far, thank you. I am off now to meet my sister for a walk to my parents (so blessed to still have them in my life). We have had a few heavy downfalls but the blue sky has appeared so hopefully will avoid the showers. I hope you are all enjoying the Bank Holiday, I am kind of over summer now though and looking forward to the comfort of autumn x

Dakota_Rose

Welcome to the diaries - it’s a lovely spot to settle into 😊. You sound to be in a place with lots to be thankful for and we’re all here because we’ve had debt to sort out, so you’re in good company.

foxgloves

Hello & welcome. @Followtherainbow. It's never too late to begin a more positive relationship with money. I didn't begin living within my means until my 40s, having been in debt since the age of 19. That included a 23-year old overdraft! I always said I was 'bad with money' but the truth was actually that I never fancied the idea of budgeting so didn't bother! Once the anti-debt lightbulb well & truly pinged on, I discovered that actually I was pretty good at budgeting & really wished I'd tried it 2 decades earlier. I was over 50 before we properly, systematically began saving too, although we were putting 'sinking funds' into savings pots by then.

There's always something new to learn/try & I agree so much with what you said about enjoying the simple things in life.

F

Followtherainbow

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82120749#Comment_82120749

Thank you @Dakota_Rose, now I have taken the plunge to go self managed I feel the tide has turned and everyone's diaries inspire me.

Followtherainbow

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82120837#Comment_82120837

@foxgloves Thank you for the welcome. I have had so many light bulb moments through the years, but here we are and better late than never. The thing is I am so organised in all areas of my life and a spreadsheet queen, so why money pickles my brain I shall never now, but onward and upward from now.

Followtherainbow

Well today has been a great start as it has been a no spend day, and I always feel such an achievement when I can tick one of those on the calendar. Something which has spurred me on to start a diary for myself is I have been with StepChange for a couple of years, thankfully with the advice in these diaries, I built up a small pot before starting it, and debts have defaulted, although one only very recently. Most have moved to debt collection agencies. Adding it all up today brings me to the grand sum of £29,552.53 debt. So, I am going to have a break of a couple of months and build my little pot back up, whilst I contact the companies, get payment details and then start with just £5.00 each which is way less than with Step Change. But they were great to get me started on tackling the debt. The smallest debt is 1101.82 with Lowell. I want to pay more to that one once I have got myself all set up with self managed, and you never know come Spring the a reduced settlement offer may come in. Although I have read on another post they aren't as generous in recent times. I am back to work tomorrow, I work for the NHS but recently staffing levels have been challenging, and three of us doing the work of seven staff members due to people on long term sick, and management expect the same output. I think that has been adding to my anxiety, but also I used to be so much better at exercise, eating healthier but not so good recently. I have put on a stone the last year, but that has been due to comfort eating and not moving enough. So today, I also got my 10000 steps in. I was going to tackle my ironing pile, but shall add to tomorrow evening's list. Dear kitties are waiting patiently to be fed so I shall do that, sort lunch to bring to work and I think call it a night and do a bit of reading. I have recently got into Lisa Jewell and have just started Don't Let Him In. Take care all and if you have read through my ramblings, thank you x

blue2mills

Hi there, can you please advise where you keep the monies for the build up of a 'pot' before contacting agencies to negotiate repayments? Many thanks,

Followtherainbow

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82121895#Comment_82121895

@blue2mills Hello, when I started on the DMP a couple of years or so ago, I opened up a new bank account for my salary, and a separate bank account purely for my DMP with Chase. I have just set up separate savings pots in my Chase Account to move money to for my DMP, as well as my other pots to move money to for birthdays, car, pets, etc.

I don't intend on negotiating with my creditors, I shall be telling them what I can afford to pay them and setting up the standing order. It will be a lot less than with StepChange, and the difference will go into the DMP pot for a future time when perhaps there may be the opportunity to settle an account at a reduction.

I hope that helps explain?

Followtherainbow

Evening everyone, well back to work today and it suddenly dawned it was the last Bank Holiday before Christmas. It was lovely this morning as it had an autumnal feel. I was feeling quite confident the last few days with doing a self managed DMP and contacting creditors to get bank details. But mid way through this morning, my heart sank as it brought me back to the days before I went with Step Change and I stopped payments and the dread of them ringing or writing. But I am stronger than when I originally started out, and honestly this forum has been such a big help. But just feeling a bit anxious.

Due to my age and the amount I owe and what I will be paying back, it will take forever and a day to pay of everything and probably unlikely One of the things StepChange suggested to me everytime I did a review was Bankruptcy. In an ideal world it would have been the best solution but I rent and it is hard enough to rent these days with a clean bill of credit health, but with a bankruptcy on your record my chances would be slim to zero, also I have two kitties (Mr D and Miss J) which can sometimes limit options. Luckily I have been in my current home for 13 years, and will be for the forseeable, but bankruptcy very much scares me.

I am a latte addict and today was able to make the most of my free monthly Greggs coffee on the way into work, a perk from getting insurance via a well known comparison website. Otherwise, just one small spend on the way home in L1dl for tuna for the kitties. Dinner was a quorn chicken korma and rice that I made yesterday and I still have two portions left, which I shall freeze. I tend to just have fruit during the day so no big expense there.

I did give myself a payday treat last week in L1dl as they had all the spring bulbs in and I'll be planting up soon and they were so reasonably priced. The garden is my sanctuary and there was nothing in it when I moved in all those years go, so it has been lovely bringing life to it and creating my happy place.

Anyway, for now all creditors have been contacted for bank details, so just a waiting game. I find when my mind is wondering word searches are great to get stuck into, so time to grab a brew and pick up my pen and book.

blue2mills

@Followtherainbow thank you so much for taking the time to respond and for your advice. Its very helpful :-)

leftatthetrafficlights

Welcome @Followtherainbow 😁

I think it's a good thing to self-manage now that you have things straight- it takes some of the anxiety out of it as you're not waiting around for anyone. I have always done it and it's hassle free for the most part once the initial work and agreements are sorted.

Good luck with your journey - I'll be cheering you on 😁