Self managed DMP? Need advice

Grumpelstiltskin

OK Court orders don't just appear out of thin air, there is a legal procedure to go through before that can be applied for and you can defend them by offering what you can afford.

For now stop paying everything do not contact your creditors, block all phone numbers, delete E Mails and texts but you must open any letters you receive by snail mail.

You have to have a complete change of mindset, you have to realize you are in charge not your creditors.

Debt collection moves slowly you are not going to hear much straight away, but just remember whatever happens don't panic and don't do anything without checking you are doing the correct thing.

ManyWays

A CCJ isn't really a problem, the lender will not be able to get an "order for sale" so your house is not at risk.

NB I have never come across Norwich Trust. They look like a bad credit lender to me, not a Credit Union?

Can I ask if your son is working? An apprentice? A student? On benefits?

RAS

You need to clarify the Norwich Trust/Norwich credit union situation. Meantime cancel everything else.

If you can no longer claim for your son as he's left education and he's not going into work or apprenticeship, he needs to claim UC urgently and pay you a large chunk of that. And pick up things like phone and clothing.

Sunnyseaside

thanks for the replies. Stopping payments now feels like a very wrong thing to do considering iv tried for years to keep a good credit score to get a morgage then within 2 years im in this mess. Iv thought abou a second job but with working full time the house and the kids I feel totally exhausted all the time as is. Just feels a big step just to take a complete u turn and stop paying that's all

Grumpelstiltskin

Yes when you have been used to paying your debts it does seem the wrong thing to do but you cant carry on as you are, like I have said it does need a complete change of mindset.

You have to start and put yourself first not your creditors.

They have been charging you very large interest rates making loads of money out of your problems, its time to stop.

ManyWays

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82104842#Comment_82104842

I get that, but think of it this way. For a long while you have been getting deeper into debt, and hopig consolidation loans would work, but they haven't.This has been a long slide down, made worse by the UC overpayment and losing the UC for your eldest.

You haven't really been fine for a long while. At best you have been running fast on the hamster wheeel of debt, but not getting anywhere.

You mortgage will not be affected by stopping paying. You will still be able to get a new fix with your current lender when this ones ends.

The only thing you can do now is say "Stop, no more, Things have to change. The protect my credit score and consolidate route has made my situation worse not better."

Grumpelstiltskin

Forget your credit score it's a made up figure your creditors don't see.

sourcrates

"thanks for the replies. Stopping payments now feels like a very wrong thing to do considering iv tried for years to keep a good credit score to get a mortgage"

Yes, we all felt that way the first time we were advised to just stop making payments.

It feels that way as we have been so used to rigidly sticking to creditors "payment due dates" and always paying what was demanded of us, that we have forgotten how to think for ourselves financially, we become slaves to their system, and then when we can no longer meet those payments, we panic, borrow money we shouldn`t off friends and family, use up all our savings to pay debts, then when those sources dry up, we hit absolute rock bottom.

But there is no need for any of that, the help is there, debt management is a well recognised choice you can make, creditors are well aware of it, in fact they are the main source of funding for stepchange, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of, it really is so easy to solve the problem, no one should be afraid of having unaffordable debt, there is always a way out.

Smudgeismydog

Some thoughts on your SOA;

How old are your kids? Can they start to pick up some of their own costs e.g. clothes, mobile, socialising etc

• mobile phone bill is very high, how many phones does this cover? Are you in contract? SIM only is around £10pm
• kids clothes at £100pm is also high. Do you have any clothes you can sell? How do you feel about buying from e.g Vinted and charity shops?
• Food is very specific at £600pm, is this accurate? how many people does this cover? Do you meal plan and batch cook? Could you change supermarket?
• Life insurance is also very high, I think this is worth reviewing

I completely empathise with your situation, I was widowed with 2 very young children, and it’s so completely overwhelming to become responsible for everything on your own.
We will absolutely help you, so keep posting and asking questions

Sunnyseaside

I was determined this morning to follow DMP but I don't think I have the courage it just feels so wrong. The mobile is for 4 lines and also wi fi. Life insurance I took out a while back when I was worried I couldn't get back in the property ladder and wanted to provide for kids. I do use vinted etc and I realise 600is high but it also covers pets and cleaning stuff etc. kids are older now so will soon be self sufficient.
I think I will restart dds and see if I can get a considolition loan next year before I lose the benefit. I'm so scared of losing my home if I don't pay my debts and try to force this. I do budget but I obviously need to look at trying harder tha ks all for your advice thid is a scary place to be