Hopeful this will lead to a productive outcome.

firewarden

Context:

• I left a marriage and the family home to create a new nest.
• My house of potential dreams has become a house of horrors financially - every problem that gets fixed uncovers more problems not known about, by the RICS2 survey or nest restorations.
• Financial separation and independence is not resolved, and the incoming bills exceed the incoming earning capacity, burning capital that was extended for contingency (legal, renovations) whilst neither are resolved.

Problems:

• The judicial system re: divorce is not fit for purpose.
• One cannot access debt avoidance advice, only debt advice, whilst one works one's socks off to not get into debt but to meet the expenditure/income mismatch.
• Helpful advice and resources often lead to time-sap rabbit holes, when one is all things to all people at all times, and fire fighting new problems that crop up.

Questions:

• What can be done to improve experiences for the debt crack dodgers? The hard workers, the debt avoiders, who have explored every option and still face identified problems without leverage, but has spent over 2 years going by the book (Union savings, charitable grants, etc), remains out of debt (by a whisker) and has other unavoidable bills pending?
• Martin Lewis - where does one go then? It's tiring.

FrugaiMacDugal

I've asked for this to be moved.

Brie

Generally those that get in to debt either don't know what they are actually spending or something happens that dips them in at the deep end.

Taking the second one first - if the car dies, marriage breaks down, losing the big income in the family then disaster can be averted if one has an emergency fund or even just a good line of credit. For a long time I was in the "line of credit" gang - no savings really to speak of but lots of credit available on a number of CCs which meant i could use the CCs then money or balance transfer to keep from sinking. Money/credit is sometimes available in odd places - I had shares in the company that employed me and could have accessed them if needed, albeit with tax penalties. There is also charitable work schemes for various industries that may pay for the new car/furniture/washing machine while providing emotional support to help get things back to a new normal.

And the first - not knowing what is being spent. The only way to get on top of this is to either win the lottery (unlikely) or start to budget better. On debt free boards or advice centres the first step is to draw up an accurate statement of accounts. Using 2 - 3 months worth of bank/card statements to get real figures for what is being paid. Many of us know approximately what we might pay per month for gas, electric, insurance but can be shocked by how much is spent on food, entertainment and trivial things like getting coffee on the way to work. I knew one client who had a good idea how much food was costing her but hadn't taken into account that she was having it all delivered, sometimes more than once a day and was paying ££ for each delivery.

So to me debt avoidance advice and get out of debt advice is basically the same. It's just which side of the zero mark you're on that is different. Start with a budget (use the SOA linked in my signature) and see where that takes you. If the bills are coming too thick and fast then you need to look at what you can do without completely and what you can postpone paying without causing too many problems. There's no shame in getting in to debt for a period while you get other things sorted. Prioritise the bills that keep you housed, fed and able to work. Put off the ones that you can't afford right now. This may mean talking to the creditor and saying you need to take a break from paying for X for 3 months or whatever.

I hope you can work it out and that things get a bit easier for you in the future. I know that life can really be tough at times.