Dont know what to do

elsien

i’m not a parent so I am looking at this from a different perspective - that of someone who always paid keep along the way as soon as I was earning.

Your son is costing you £170 a month in increased council tax alone. He would be paying a lot more than that to be living independently and you can’t afford for him not to give you something even if you don’t think it’s reasonable for him to pay towards food, et cetera.

He is 24. He’s not a child anymore. I would suggest you really need to have that conversation about your level of debt and lay all the cards on the table on both sides to come up with something that is reasonable for both of you.

Perhaps the difference between when you were younger and now is that your family were getting by. To put it a tad bluntly, you are not.

jack_tyler

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82049563#Comment_82049563

that is a possibility that I have done that, but how do I delete it and start again? I feel like crying 😩

jack_tyler

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82049228#Comment_82049228

Where will I find an Statement of Affairs?

elsien

I’m sorry, I don’t know if you can delete the UC claim. I’ve only ever had contact with them on the phone on behalf of someone else. It was just a random thought. The benefit board will probably be of more help.

Grumpelstiltskin

OK Read through this thread.

In Debt and Wannabe Debt Free? first Steps to take are here, please read, then ask questions. — MoneySavingExpert Forum

That gives the link to the SOA.

Honestly you ay your son can't afford to pay board, you can't afford to keep him at the age of 24, the sooner he learns about the facts of financial life the better.

RAS

I think we all appreciate that life's been pretty carp for your son as well, losing his dad and grand dad and going from living in a reasonably financially secure household to one really struggling.

But if he's been a legal adult for 6 years now and needs to start understanding the consequences of his actions and inactions. If he moved in with his girlfriend, you could claim single person's CT discount.

Or you could sort put his room and take a lodger, which is £7,500 tax free per annum which would cover the extra CT bill, a share in utility bills and leave a bit spare. Choose a single older female if you prefer, there's a lot struggling to find decent rental accommodation these days. Feeling to old to houseshare and too young to get access to housing association over 55's options.

If you are in Scotland, do check the rules there, in England an Wales make absolutely sure you understand the different rules about tenancies and lodgings, and don't use online lodger agreements as a lot create security you don't want to grant. Look at the forum here.

I'm old enough to remember the women who'd been widowed but had never worked or been daughters whose parents had died. Capital poor in large draughty houses with small incomes, taking lodgers to keep afloat. For some there was a bit of social stigma, if they'd been well provided for previously, but others embraced it for the companionship and the income.

ManyWays

I agree with @RAS . Either your son moves out and you are then a single person, and may be able to get a lodger, or he contributes to the council tax bill and other costs, as having him there will also reduce your UC. There is no need to feel guilty about this, it is just the way the world is: adults cannot live for free.

I suggest you go to your local Citizens Advice and ask for help with the UC.