Debt getting me down

ManyWays

so is the £20 for clothes just for you? or does it cover the children too?
And the £90 for childrens expenses? These look very low if they include childrens clothes and school uniform.

llcooljayne1

no that’s for children’s if they are desperate. I very rarely buy clothes, probably once or twice a year!

BikingBud

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6673010/debt-getting-me-down

Can you clarify the house ownership. It seems unusual that you have a mortgage for which only you and your partner are liable yet your parents appear to be on the deeds.

My understanding would be that is not acceptable to most mortgage providers, perhaps you or another forumite could expand on that.

That might shift the liability significantly, especially the "sharing"of the bills, the identification of income and the apportionment of any debts eg mortgage payments of £300 v £159000 debt seems out of balance.

llcooljayne1

yes of course, my parents put down £500k on the house and myself and my partner got a mortgage for the rest at £180,000. The total mortgage cost pm is £850. Myself and my partner split this with me paying £300 and him £550

Brie

Who is CCCS and was it them that has suggested a DMP? Are they providing a free service??

Have any of the debts defaulted?

I know you say you want to sort this out yourself but could your parents help? Maybe get all the affordability and credit agreement checks done while waiting for defaults, ask for full and final payment amounts, get you folks to lend you the money for that and then pay them back, hopefully without interest?

I assume your partner knows what's happening but do your parents? Not an easy conversation as I well know.

And how much do the kids know? Better for them to be somewhat aware that money is tight so their expectations can be managed. I also think it's a good thing for children to learn that adults can make mistakes but then see also that mistakes can be resolved in a positive way. It may help them learn good financial habits.

fatbelly

CCCS is the old name for Stepchange, which those of us who have been around a very long time will remember

llcooljayne1

Hi,

It is a debt charity. Both the IVA and DMP make the payments much more affordable but I don’t want a DMP for 17 years and be unable to get another mortgage etc for that long. With the IVA I’m worried it will affect our home. My parents know I struggle but not just how much! I’m very reluctant to ask them for help. I have not been able to pay two credit cards just for this month as I’ve switched jobs but never missed any payments at all ever.

The kids know things are tight, when they ask for things I tell them if they really want it they can save up. Unless they need it then obviously I will find the money.

13thlegion

I don't have practical advice but hopefully to put you at some ease.

Your home is not as risk in either a DMP or IVA. You can remortgage on a DMP just with more limited options such as staying with your current provider.

fatbelly

As above.

IVAs are an insolvency option that allows someone to protect an asset, so that is why they are being suggested rather than full bankruptcy.

A dmp is an informal solution.

Smudgeismydog

You noted that the Plata loan was for moving costs and paying your car off, but do you know how you have accumulated the other debts? Understanding how you came to be in this position can be really helpful in making lifestyle changes.

I appreciate you feel uncomfortable speaking with your parents about this, but can you talk this through with your partner? Perhaps can they pick up a greater share of the bills to free up some more money?

Have you read some of the diaries on here where people are on a DMP? I’m sure this will put your mind at ease a little when you can see how they are making real progress to getting rid of the debt, and able to start breathing after feeling so anxious.