Should I go down the DMP route as suggested?!

Bullet_Diary

Hi 👋,

I'm struggling. I'm over £30k in debt on CCs. My OH has already helped me out to pay off one, but I want to try and sort the rest on my own. Interest has now kicked in on all of them, and while I'm keeping up with payments, they're minimal. By the end of the month, I need to put things on my CC, so I feel like I'm in a never-ending spiral. Just want to feel less alone in all of this…

Step-change have suggested a DMP, but I wondered if speaking to my CC providers to ask if they can stop interest for some time is a better option. Is this even possible?! Half my issue is that I am neurodivergent, so I find it very hard to have conversations over the phone. If I have to phone them, I just won't do it, because it's too overwhelming. Is it possible to do over chat/email at all, has anyone done this?!

Feeling very stupid, rubbish at life and pathetic for not being able to sort.

Fay

RAS

Asking your creditors to forego interest will usually result in AP markers on your credit record, which last for 6 years after the debt is paid off.

If you just stop paying, you'll get defaults which are removed from your credit record in 6 years even if you never pay a penny.

Do you rent or have a mortgage? Do you have any shared accounts with OH?

Bullet_Diary

I did read that, and all my autistic rule-following bones are freaking out at defaulting!

We have no mortgage (thank god), no shared accounts with the OH and I'd rather he never had to find out. But he is also a nightmare for changing his mind, so it's not to say we might not have a mortgage again (i'm never one to assume) so guessing that any of these options will affect my credit rating and ability to get a mortgage/finance if needed?

Brie

Everyone normally says that life is easier if you're open with your OH about debts. I agree in principle but admit I've not really followed that in practice.

Yes defaults and APs on your credit history can effect your ability to get a mortgage or any other credit.

And you have to look at why you have got so far in to debt. You say that by the end of the month you have to put things on credit. This makes it sound like you are overspending on personal wants OR you are supporting the household at a higher level than your own income. This latter can happen if one person is responsible for all the household expenses and the other person is getting, financially, an easy ride. Does your OH contribute enough to the household? It does sound like you perhaps need to sit down together to discuss finances as he seems to be making decisions without you which, if not contributing to the problem, are not helping you find a solution. (sorry trying to make that sound nicer than it appears but I can't help but think of financial coercive behaviour in action - hopefully I'm wrong)

I don't know if you have considered completing a statement of accounts and posting it back here (see the link in my signature) so that we can help you tighten up your budget a bit to make a DMP more manageable.

fatbelly

Your oh already knows that you are in trouble so you may as well be open with him and work towards a solution.

When you say that you have no mortgage, does that mean that you are in rented accommodation or a home that you own outright? I am guessing the latter if stepchange suggested a dmp.

Is there any chance you could give us a statement of affairs? That would save us from drip-feeding 100 questions

https://lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

sourcrates

Credit card providers will only do short term temporary reduced payment arrangements, usually for up to 6 months, but can be less than this, and your credit file will show "AP" markers.

If your circumstances are likely to last longer than 6 months, they will simply refer you to the debt charity Stepchange.

Lenders work hand in glove with Stepchange, as the charity is creditor funded, so if your financial difficulties are going to last a while, they will just refer you to them for debt advice anyway.

So if you are struggling, you should not hold off hoping to preserve your credit file, you may as well accept the fact you need help. and that missed payments and defaults are all part and parcel of debt management, and that your file will recover in time.

Bullet_Diary

I've done my SOA, sorry forgot to ask how to attach to my profile. Will do now. I have always contributed 'less' in value to the household, but more percentage-wise (i.e 100% of my money was always gone by the end of the month, whereas the OH, always had money left over). Our relationship isn't for everyone, and I know it's not the healthiest, but I have 3 ND kids, the youngest has higher needs and has been essentially out of school for 3 years whilst I try and balance everything, including work. I nearly lost my job last month because of the strain. The OH just doesn't see it, but right now I haven't got the energy to fight that battle. I have enough battles to fight with my youngest and getting him the education he deserves.

beanielou

Just post your SOA to this thread.

Sunbakedscobble

So I have 1 payment left on my 34k credit card debt DMP. I did a managed DMP through stepchange. It was the halifax who suggested them after I called them to ask them to freeze my interest for a while. It was the best call I ever made. I felt so relieved straight away after talking to them, they were incredible. It was so easy to sort, few phone calls and job done. It has taken me 4.5 years (just over) to clear. It has been easy, stress free. Still managed to live my life. I would highly recommend a chat with them. People generally advise self managed on here. I tried that, failed ended up in more debt. Payplan just incredible.