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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I cover the fees when I send gift money to my US-based grandchild?

MSE_Kelvin
MSE_Kelvin Posts: 451 MSE Staff
Eighth Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks…

I have four grandchildren - three live in the UK and the other has just moved to the US. I regularly give them gifts of money, and want to treat them equitably. But if I send them the same amount, the grandchild in the US gets less due to transfer fees and exchange rates. Should I top up their gift to compensate for the shortfall?

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Comments

  • tacpot12
    tacpot12 Posts: 9,532 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper

    I would say Yes, otherwise one grandchild is being penalised just because they live abroad. This might cost you a little more, but it's probably a small cost so that you can be scrupulously fair.

    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.
  • jackieblack
    jackieblack Posts: 10,698 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic

    Yes


    (more characters needed)

    Everything will be alright in the end so, if it’s not yet alright, it means it’s not yet the end
    Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur
  • Dextersgran
    Dextersgran Posts: 3 Newbie
    Eighth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker

    If you and one of your grandchilds parents have a PayPal account, you can transfer money over with no fee.

  • Jemma01
    Jemma01 Posts: 744 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 26 May at 11:06PM

    Did they travel there by choice or parents took them? If by choice, not your fault. You're spending equally. If parents took them, I would top it up.

    Alternatively put it in an account for them in the UK, they can take it when they visit. That's fair and can build up interest for them.

    I'm FTB, not an expert, all my comments are from personal experience and not a professional advice.
    Mortgage debt start date 11/2024 = 175k (5.19%)... Q1/2026 = PAID (3.94%)
  • MistysMum
    MistysMum Posts: 2 Newbie
    First Post

    yes, of course you should.

  • saveafewquid
    saveafewquid Posts: 13 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker

    You should have a free wise account. FX rates are market rate and Transfer fees are so tiny, it'd be an irrelevance.

  • Beauborg
    Beauborg Posts: 22 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker

    No. Help the child learn that there are pros and cons to every situation. Living in another country may have benefits but also pitfalls.

    This is also a good opportunity for them to learn resilience: life isn’t always meticulously fair but we can still be happy

  • Ed264
    Ed264 Posts: 169 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts

    Opinion here so far is that you should. I agree.

  • bikaga
    bikaga Posts: 222 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper

    If they're old enough to have their own accounts, there are options to save on fees:

    • Set up an account in the UK with a card that lets you spend free abroad, e.g. Chase
    • Use something like Wise as suggested above
    • Get a pre-paid holiday spending card in $ which you can top up so you only have to pay exchange rate, not a transfer fee

    Obviously whatever works best for you and the grandkid.

    Some other options:

    You could consider giving more but less often to the grandchild in the US so that the transfer fees become less relevant.

    Or you could ask them if they're saving for anything and get a savings account for them here, then when they're ready to buy it you can transfer it all at once with a single transfer fee. (Or they might have plans to eventually return and would appreciate a savings account waiting for them then.)

    Basically - if they're old enough, ask them (and if not ask their parents) what would suit them best. Saves you the second-guessing, and they might just ask you not to make a fuss as it's not your fault they moved and they're just happy you think of them ;)

  • 2702
    2702 Posts: 72 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Posts

    No. What are you going to do when the exchange rate goes up or down? Agree with Bikaga there are options available.

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