My debt story - looking for a bit of support

Boabyfromcraiglang

Hi all,

I’ve been a long-time lurker on here but finally plucked up the courage to post. Looking to tell my story for bit of support and some honest perspectives and maybe offer some support to others

Over a number of years I built up a large amount of unsecured debt (6 figures) across credit cards and loans. It started with a small monthly deficit that I covered with balance transfers from credit cards to my current account. As I maxed out a credit card I transferred the balance. Then when I ran out of credit card options I started taking loans to pay off the credit card and countinued to transfer money to cover the deficit monthly. The deficit each month grew and grew as 0% offers came to an end and I had new loan payments. Got to the point where I was paying a minimum payment on a credit card then withdrawing cash in order to pay minimum payments on another credit card.

The hardest part to admit is that I kept this secret from my partner until the whole house of "cards" was about to come crashing down.

I'm based in Scotland. I’ve now entered in to a debt arrangement scheme. I know formal arrangements are sometimes frowned upon here but it seems the right thing for us. It gives us certainty in what we're paying each month, protects our family home and allows me to pay off all my debt (that's important to me). I'm now better off each month in the das than I was making all the minimum payments. Actually feel lucky Scotland has such a system.

Where I’m struggling is more the mental side:

• The guilt and embarrassment of how I handled it
• Getting used to having no access to credit - how did others deal with this?
• The fear i now have about spending any money

For those that have been through similar...

• Does it get easier once things settle into a routine?
• How long did it take for things to feel “normal” again?

Would be keen to hear from anyone currently in a DAS. Also happy to share my experience in more detail with anyone in Scotland considering this.

Thanks for reading, and for any advice.

B.

sourcrates

Your story is typical of many, we are urged to borrow, spend, repay from an early age, just so some mythical number keeps us attractive to the banks, your one of millions, myself included, that bought into the myth, and life just got in the way, it happens.

But I would urge you not to feel any guilt over this, you were lent money they never had in the first place, then charged massive amounts of interest for the pleasure of keeping them in business, sure you may have benefitted at first from this, but over the years, you will have repaid far more than you ever borrowed, banks are there to make profit, and that can only be achieved if many of us stay in debt, so well done for breaking the chain, and good luck going forward.

ManyWays

A DAS is a better version of a DMP in England.

It is not a form of insolvency, so one thing it is worth looking at is making a car commission claim if you have had any HP or PCP agreements that started between April 2007 and start of November 2024. the regulator estimates that 40% of those agreements had an unfair commission arrangement and has set up an official Scheme to refund people. MSE has a free tool that let you start a claim now, which means you will be in one of the early batches to get the refund if your agreement was affected (the only way to find out is to ask).
Car finance FREE reclaim tool & guide | Martin Lewis

Any cash refund you get can go into your emergency fund.

gwynlas

I do not know how these things work in Scotland but i do know that myself and many others have been on this journey.

Regarding guilt hindsight is a wonderful thing but we cannot change the past and what we spent money on. For me it was just what I considered day to day living wirth no great extravagances or vices like gambling. Could I have made different choices and lived within my means yes of course but where:s the fun in that?

Once everything is under control the idea of having credit and paying interest is more abhorrent tha doing without.

Eventually life improves and like me you might be able to save or at least spend what you want without going into debt. In supermarkets now I still look at discounts but a steak for £5 is just as good as paying £30 in a restaurant and don't get my partner started on the mark up on winw!

jdj01

I was over £60k in debt and living alone. After early retirement I couldn’t afford the mortgage, but was depressed and kept my head in the ground hoping I could earn some cash from various hare-brained schemes. I had to tell my parents finally, when my house was repossessed and I had to move back in with them. Living without credit hasn’t been too bad, apart from not getting things like internet and phone contracts. I still get tempted to spend too much too soon, but often use some budget software to help me see how to spread my spending over the month. Getting the situation out in the open and talking to family does relieve the stress somewhat!

I have recently got a new credit card, purely as a way to help rebuild my credit score.

Boabyfromcraiglang

Thanks for the replies so far. I'm the same in that it was nothing extravagant. Just financing a family that got out of control as I chose the wrong approach to managing the monthly deficit. Buried my head in the sand.

ArtyJ931

you’re not a bad person because of your financial situation. The sooner you realise that the better. We’re all just human beings.

SpireCaptain

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81962422#Comment_81962422

Hi Bobby, this is exactly the position I find myself in ove the past 9 years. Please don't feel any shame, we've been some really rough years globally and in the UK and it's not failure.

You're in the best place to get some really good support and inspiration. I wish you well from the sidelines. I'm still hanging in for no good reason. At least your head is well out of the sand and you're being proactive.

Sunbakedscobble

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6664024/my-debt-story-looking-for-a-bit-of-support

Hello.

Congrats on starting your journey. I am near the end of my 34k managed DMP. 4.5 years later.

Got into debt exactly the same way you did. Tried to do a self managed DMP..just made it worse. The phone call to payplan literally saved my life. From.the first chat with them I knew I had found the answer to my prayers. The help and support from them over the 4.5 years has being second to non. Nothing to much trouble for them. Straight away I could sleep at night. With their budget help, it was nice to be paying off my debts and saving money. I could afford to live again. It's daunting but seeing that figure that you owe come down each month is so motivating. I can't wait for my next payment to go out and see my debt reduce to below 1000 for tge first time since 1995.

Good luck

PM22

Hi,

After I started my DMP in 2022, I had 2 years without credit which was really tough but after 2 years I got accepted for a credit card which I now pay off in full each month. It helps me budget for unexpected things.

Hang on in there, you will be able to borrow responsibly in a couple of years…

Boabyfromcraiglang

Thanks for the messages of support. I will admit that I did consider some bad options as I got towards the end of the road. Pleased to be here and also pleased to be paying off my debts.