Take my life back

Spritz

Hello everyone. After keeping my head burried in the sand i decided that i need to take back control of my finances before mental healt deteriorates even more. Everything was perfect…until divorce. A few things that i would like to clear out, I'm now renting with my partner £1250 but also pay my solo mortgage £1250 for the house where just my ex-wife lives with my 2 children (12 and 17) and her newborn (not mine). I know its a lot that I pay towards her and kids but she is on UC and no income (newborn). I would like to mention that all this is just a verbal agreement between me and her, nothing formal, we want to stay away from tribunals and lawyers. I feel kinda stuck because on one hand I'm drowning and on the other hand I cant cut from ex and kids because she will not be able to live decent affecting also my children. I would like to avoid selling the mortgaged house as it would be a huge blow to my children. This is my first step of many, now considering ways to optimise income/spendings and then plan for attack wich is default on unsecured debt accounts>DMP probably through StepChange (DRO not for me because of my solo-mortgage)

Thank you and please feel free to suggest

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 3300
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1500
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0[b]
Total monthly income.................... 4800[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 950
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 210
Rent.................................... 1250
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 170
Electricity............................. 140
Gas..................................... 80
Oil..................................... 10
Water rates............................. 60
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 80
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 25
Groceries etc. ......................... 300
Clothing................................ 40
Petrol/diesel........................... 30
Road tax................................ 20
Car Insurance........................... 130
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Car parking............................. 10
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 250
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 20
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 30
Entertainment........................... 250
Holiday................................. 20
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Kids with me days....................... 60[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 4165[/b]
[b]

Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 220000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 9000
Other assets............................ 1500[b]
Total Assets............................ 230500[/b]
[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 155000...(950)......4.5
Secured Debt.................. 19300....(210)......0[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 174300....-.........- [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Aqua Credit Card...............9151......310.......0
Vanquis Credit Card............1100......40........0
Virgin Credit Card.............556.......25........0
Personal Loan..................17467.....307.......0
NatWest Overdraft..............3500......80........0
NatWest Credit Card............1237......84........0[b]
Total unsecured debts..........33011.....846.......- [/b]

[b]
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 4,800
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 4,165
Available for debt repayments........... 635
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 846[b]
Amount short for making debt repayments. -211[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
Total assets (things you own)........... 230,500
Total HP & Secured debt................. -174,300
Total Unsecured debt.................... -33,011[b]
Net Assets.............................. 23,189[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Markdavid1962

Lots of information, just one question the ex wife on UC, does she also get housing benefit.

I know my son got UC and Housing benefit, thats why I am asking it could reduce the amount you pay towards the mortgage. I apppreciate not selling the house due to kids but considering kids stay at home now much longer, mine left in their 30's, so you could be paying a mortgage for a long time yet.

Maybe worth talking to citizens advice

Spritz

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81924224#Comment_81924224

Hi and thank you for reply, no she does not get any housing benefit, only a £1045 UC income. What kind of housing benefit would she get if family house hasn’t been sold and still lives there?

ArtyJ931

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81924324#Comment_81924324

she wouldn’t be able to get housing benefit in this situation - if she is a joint owner.

Long term a court would possibly order that she stay there until the children of the marriage reach 18, but she would be expected to pay. I imagine you’ve thrashed this all out between you anyway and that there is a long term plan.

Good luck :) I’m not really in a position yet to figure out the whole SOA or offer advice as I’m still working it out myself!

Smudgeismydog

Firstly, well done for getting your head out of the sand

You mentioned you pay £1,250 towards both the mortgage and rent, but list the mortgage at £950. Is this right?

What are ‘other child related expenses’ at £250pm?

It looks like all your credit cards are currently on 0%, when do these run out? Are you likely to be able to transfer them onto new 0% rates?

I appreciate that you have made a verbal agreement with your ex and avoided costly legal fees etc, but paying the whole mortgage on your former marital home is a huge amount for you to cover in addition to paying rent on your new place with your partner. Have you and your ex discussed how long this arrangement will go on for? It must make it difficult for you to move on with your new partner.
Is the father of the newborn on the scene?

Spritz

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81924359#Comment_81924359

She is not a joint owner, the mortgage is in my sole name. Thanks and good luck to you also

Spritz

Hi and thanks for your input. My mistake for not posting the APR, they are all 20-32% APR, non is a balance transfer, got another credit card with full balance of £4500 not included here as it has no debt.

“Other child related expenses” £250 is a monthly sum that I give her as child maintenance but informal like I said only verbally , should of just named it Child maintenance just didn’t want people to confuse it as the formal Child Maintenance. We haven’t discussed yet how long this arrangement will go on for. If I drop this £250 child maintenance payment she won’t be able to get around and will impact kids aswell. Newborn’s father(affair partner) vanished from her life…shocking I know

Spritz

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81924370#Comment_81924370

Hi and thanks for your input. My mistake for not posting the APR, they are all 20-32% APR, non is a balance transfer, got another credit card with full balance of £4500 not included here as it has no debt.

The SOA is correct, I pay 1250 my rent where I live with partner and 950 solo mortgage for the house where my ex and kids live.

“Other child related expenses” £250 is a monthly sum that I give her as child maintenance but informal like I said only verbally , should of just named it Child maintenance just didn’t want people to confuse it as the formal Child Maintenance. We haven’t discussed yet how long this arrangement will go on for. If I drop this £250 child maintenance payment she won’t be able to get around and will impact kids aswell. Newborn’s father(affair partner) vanished from her life…shocking I know

Apologies for double post I haven’t posted in a forum for many years.

Smudgeismydog

Thanks for confirming, so you pay the full mortgage and £250pm child maintenance. I know this will be tough, but I just cannot see how this is affordable for you. I applaud you for trying so hard to support your children, but you just can’t afford this.

Spritz

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81925433#Comment_81925433

That is why I was saying that I feel stuck and drowning with no way out. She doesn’t have income due to newborn only UC £1050 or around that + my £250 + child benefit for 3 children but no debts. I know her essential bills for that house are around £500 which leaves her with around £1000 to raise them. I will keeps thinking and see what I can do.
Anyway, today I gave my Revolut bank account details at my workplace so that I can get paid into it and move all essentials DD and that secured debt on Revolut. My old current account will be left fully overdrawn(£3500), stop paying unsecured loan and the credit cards so I can default hopefully asap. I wanted to ask, should I call all unsecured creditors and let them know that I can’t afford to pay therefore I will stop paying and explain situation why or should I just stop paying and let DDs bounce back until default? Would calling them speed the default maybe?

Smudgeismydog

I can completely see that you feel stuck with no way out, your income just doesn’t stretch, and it must also be difficult to move forward in your new relationship.

The advice given is to default, contacting the creditors often delays the process. I appreciate that might feel weird, as I’m sure you’ve been trying to meet payments all this time, and I think we are often encouraged to keep communicating, but in this case it can make it slower.