Turning Straw into Gold: Creating Long Term Security & A Solid Home

MillQueen

Gosh it was a strange day but I made it through everything. The first event was a celebration of the successful completion of a partnership project that I led over the last couple of years. Most of the people at the partner organisation who were invited had said they could make it and a few then emailed to say they couldn't come. In the end, hardly anyone turned up at all with most saying they forgot or or just didn't arrive. I had sent out quite a few reminders and felt really embarrassed to have ordered loads of food and invited our senior leaders, their managers and their CEO to give speeches. Everyone was really gracious about it and we still had a nice time but that wasn't as intended and I don't think it looked good for the partnership.

I then immediately after that passed the interview for the training development opportunity. Managed to embarrass myself though, as I gave my presentation at super fast lightning nervous speed and then started crying during the questions, as they were a bit discouraging about my project idea and it's been a two year journey to get to the interview stage. After the celebration event let down, I was already a bit on the edge of emotional meltdown as I got no sleep last night. The bit that got me was that they said trick things like "that won't work", and then when I said "ok, fair enough, I can shape that to what suits" they said I wasn't supposed to say that and I was supposed to argue back that it would work and not agree with them, but no one told me I was supposed to do that. It reminded me of the the Peter Serafinowicz sketch called "you passed the test" (watch it, it's funny, it's about a job interview). They said my idea was bad and then were like "oh no we were just testing you". It was really confusing and stressful and I still don't understand whether it's ok to go ahead with my project idea or not, but at least I crossed the interview hurdle. Phew.

Can never show my face at work again now.

foxgloves

I do know that comedy sketch, so I can understand how confusing, contrary & dispiriting it must have felt.

MillQueen

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82094639#Comment_82094639

I am waiting for the bit where they phone me during the night and say "you failed the test" 🤣

Rhyddid2026

That sounds quite horrific! As much as my job can be an absolute nightmare at times I can't imagine they'd do anything like that game playing. I hope you're ok after it.

foxgloves

I know it will be hard, but do try not to dwell on it too much. I wish I'd given myself the same advice back in the day when for a job interview presentation, I decided to do something different & creative rather than the usual Powerpoint yawnfest. I was only about 5 mins into delivering it when I realised I'd made a huge error as all the individuals on the Panel were distinctly uncreative types, straightlaced & quite probably thought Powerpoint was a kind of deity in tech-form. I wasted too much time in the following months going over it & wishing I'd never applied for the job, time I can't get back - also brain time given to the panel, all of whom I knew & had long disliked.

Hold your head up high. Very unfair of them to go for a stressful approach like that comedy skstch.

MillQueen

@Rhyddid2026, I think it's seen as a sort of rite of passage to be able to debate and argue things, as there can be high expectations like that in my profession, where even just a normal conversation suddenly becomes a chance to show off those skills. I think it wasn't intended with malice, more that it's just part of the process they put people through but it felt not pleasant being caught out not knowing the rules. I tend to be quite literal, so if someone says something "won't work" then I think they are saying it because they genuinely think it won't work, and so I tend not to realise (until I've been over-thinking it for 3 days or until they tell me) that they were actually asking me to say a different perspective on how it WILL work. I wish people would just say what they mean sometimes instead of playing conversational games. This was the same manager who didn't hire me for the promotion a few months ago, who attended the celebration event yesterday that was empty, and also did this interview too, so I definitely haven't impressed her for future roles!!!!

@foxgloves, I love the sound of your creative presentation! I'd have enjoyed that far more than a yawnfest, so it sounds like those were definitely not your people. Imagine if you had gotten it and had to work with them and fit in with the non-creative culture… this makes me think of the saying that you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend most time around. You have been spared from that fate! I am thinking more and more that I might not be a good fit here. I love the work I do, but all of my attempts to move up have been discouraging and made me feel mismatched with the people higher up, the way they see things and what they prioritise. I was a manager in a previous related industry before I came here (a slight career change) and always did well before. But my experiences here often make me think I'm the odd one out and seeing a different picture. I'm waiting to see whether they give me the funding for the training, and if they don't maybe I just won't do it.

foxgloves

@MillQueen - The situation you describe is exactly how Mr F currently feels at work. I feel sad that after a good career & being well thought of, he's now spending his last few years before retirement feeling like the odd one out following a culture change at the top & de-professionalisation in the ranks. Only dull people who sing very loudly & enthusiastically from the company hymn book need now apply - you get my drift. Like myself, he has never been a member of the Order of the Brown Nose.

MillQueen

@foxgloves, I can't brown nose either. I work really hard for people I like, and will still be broadly polite and cooperative with people I don't, but I work better when I like the role and I tend to be intrinsically motivated as a happy hard worker on my own, more so than being a climber type who will do anything to get up the ladder. That's sad for Mr F that he's lost the contentment and respect he felt before. I do like the people I work with and for, but it's a huge team and opportunities happen in a "right place right time" ad hoc manner rather than feeling invested in. Despite the things that get said to keep everyone motivated, a lack of investment is evident when consistently not chosen for things. You seem like an independent thinker, intelligent and sharp minded, which can put you on the outside of the group think.

Chocolatefund

Oh dear. Sorry to hear things didn't go well.

Methinks some more of that quiet quitting might be in order. 😉

MillQueen

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82095809#Comment_82095809

Haha, might have to do a bit of that, I see lots of people are 🤣

I have paid £166 for some more stuff in the garden, and this job wasn't very MSE of me as I possibly could have done it myself if I had really wanted to. They have sorted all the paths, scraped off the moss, put sand in between the paving and are sealing it, to make the weeds more manageable. It should also stablise the paths a bit and it looks much better. I had thought about doing it myself for free, but there's a lot of paths and the neighbours said they saw them there for hours sweeping the sand yesterday. My back would have hated that, so I am considering it money well-spent that will save time, cash and effort in the longer term.

Today will be a low spend day as I am staying at home, doing laundry, watching netflix, catching up on email tasks, proofreading, writing a report that's been impossible to get to, cleaning up in the kitchen, and making something up with green lentils and a bag of kale. Possibly crispy kale done in the oven, and brown rice with the lentils… or buckwheat, as I have some to finish off that's bothering me as it's been there for ages.